I'm 5'1 with a really small vagina, and I'm sooooooooo tired of being celibate, but I'm on a psych med

I was married to a really tall guy, and I didn't know that much about sex (other than my own fantasies of what it would be like), he was super tall which is what attracted me to him. First night of our marriage, I had my period. We took a shower, and his dick was splayed out there, and big, I started to get scared. When on our honeymoon we did it. And he said, "it's coming out". We found a bookstore (this was in 2000), and I bought the book "Idiot's Guide to Having Sex", that didn't help. I was on birth control. I hate that pelvic exam? they give you before they give you the pill, and it hurts like hell. I've been doing research. I haven't had sex since our divorce in 2001 - it's 2019. I bought some sex toys, I'm tired of celibacy. But I have a mental illness, and would have to be on birth control, I'm currently not on birth control. My point is there are dialators that could help. I wish to god we had enough money to see a better gynecologist, I was in college no insurance. I ordered some kegel balls, a bullet vibrator, and butt plugs (because I'm curious). Also we were LDS, and I didn't understand the role of SAHM (stay at home moms). I got really worried because I didn't know about C-sections, which is what I'd have to use. I'm on a psych med that causes birth defects.



Submitted October 08, 2019 at 12:03AM

I was married to a really tall guy, and I didn't know that much about sex (other than my own fantasies of what it would be like), he was super tall which is what attracted me to him. First night of our marriage, I had my period. We took a shower, and his dick was splayed out there, and big, I started to get scared. When on our honeymoon we did it. And he said, "it's coming out". We found a bookstore (this was in 2000), and I bought the book "Idiot's Guide to Having Sex", that didn't help. I was on birth control. I hate that pelvic exam? they give you before they give you the pill, and it hurts like hell. I've been doing research. I haven't had sex since our divorce in 2001 - it's 2019. I bought some sex toys, I'm tired of celibacy. But I have a mental illness, and would have to be on birth control, I'm currently not on birth control. My point is there are dialators that could help. I wish to god we had enough money to see a better gynecologist, I was in college no insurance. I ordered some kegel balls, a bullet vibrator, and butt plugs (because I'm curious). Also we were LDS, and I didn't understand the role of SAHM (stay at home moms). I got really worried because I didn't know about C-sections, which is what I'd have to use. I'm on a psych med that causes birth defects.
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