Decided to move 3000 miles away and then started having feelings for someone.

Hi - I (34F) have been wanting to leave my current east coast state for awhile. I love the west coast and used to live there, and after my breakup in March (we were together 3 years) where I basically was staying here for him, and my job, I figured now is the best time to go live where I’ve always wanted to.

Of course, the day after I make the decision to move (I needed to give my apartment 60 days notice) a guy (37M) I dated in the beginning of the summer (who I really liked) reached back out to me and wanted to get together. He got freaked out in the beginning of the summer with commitment issues or something, but said he sorted himself out and did I want to meet? (I believe him, he is very genuine)

So we met up - I didn’t tell him about moving, because it wasn’t final with my work or my apartment, it was all beginning stages. We met up again after that. And then once more. By this time it had been a couple weeks so I decided I needed to tell him my plans. He said he completely understood and he has also thought of leaving the state at some point in his life. I told him I was sorry I didn’t tell him earlier but things just had become final.

He asked if I still wanted to hang out til I left (5 weeks from now) and I said well, it’s up to him, but I would still like to. He also said he would like to, too.

Part of me thinks I should just end this now, and another part of me just really likes being around him and his company (and other benefits of course). I just don’t know if I’m setting myself up for more hurt because I’m already hurt that I won’t really be able to explore this relationship with him further.

I guess I’m just looking for some encouragement or positive words and if anyone has experience. I don’t expect long distance, it’s too far, I’m just bummed we didn’t have more time together under our belts to know our compatibility in the long run. And I really want to meet someone so it’s been high on my radar the last few months. It’s hard for me to think of meeting anyone else I’ve liked so much, it’s been awhile.



Submitted September 22, 2019 at 12:08AM

Hi - I (34F) have been wanting to leave my current east coast state for awhile. I love the west coast and used to live there, and after my breakup in March (we were together 3 years) where I basically was staying here for him, and my job, I figured now is the best time to go live where I’ve always wanted to.Of course, the day after I make the decision to move (I needed to give my apartment 60 days notice) a guy (37M) I dated in the beginning of the summer (who I really liked) reached back out to me and wanted to get together. He got freaked out in the beginning of the summer with commitment issues or something, but said he sorted himself out and did I want to meet? (I believe him, he is very genuine)So we met up - I didn’t tell him about moving, because it wasn’t final with my work or my apartment, it was all beginning stages. We met up again after that. And then once more. By this time it had been a couple weeks so I decided I needed to tell him my plans. He said he completely understood and he has also thought of leaving the state at some point in his life. I told him I was sorry I didn’t tell him earlier but things just had become final.He asked if I still wanted to hang out til I left (5 weeks from now) and I said well, it’s up to him, but I would still like to. He also said he would like to, too.Part of me thinks I should just end this now, and another part of me just really likes being around him and his company (and other benefits of course). I just don’t know if I’m setting myself up for more hurt because I’m already hurt that I won’t really be able to explore this relationship with him further.I guess I’m just looking for some encouragement or positive words and if anyone has experience. I don’t expect long distance, it’s too far, I’m just bummed we didn’t have more time together under our belts to know our compatibility in the long run. And I really want to meet someone so it’s been high on my radar the last few months. It’s hard for me to think of meeting anyone else I’ve liked so much, it’s been awhile.
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