Trust issues with a Reason - Long-Distance M27 W24

tl;dr Open Girl, Jealous guy - she did something inappropriate, i still believe shes the one and want to find trust again.

​

When me (M27) and my now gf (24) First Met, we both still had a relationship, both unhappy. It was on a metal festival, she braided my beard and i had to resist kissing her. I seldom ask for contact info, and if, its other dude that happens to like the same bands and alcohol as i do. I got hers.

Half a year later i broke up, or better, my ex left me while i was 400km away for work and moved out (she had no way of moving stuff to her flat, so i did that for her when i came back, just to get rid of her ASAP, btw). My now gf happened to get into a really big fight over financials with her fiancee a month earlier, living on the couch of a (female) Friend for now. That was December.

​

January we started writing. Mid January it was Good Morning every Morning and Good night every evening. She lives 3 hours away, but March was the first meeting, after she finally settled into her new flat. I was part afraid of terminally falling in love, part expecting a weekend of fun. She had the whole thing planned out. Doing walks, visiting Monuments, good eating and good sex. So i fell terminally in love.

​

Beeing that i made very bad experiences i pesterized all my best friends with the fact that i cant do it, cant do a relationship over this distance. I'm a jealous guy, shes very open. She was always troubled and trying to get by, so she has a very colourful past, seeking love and understanding and i dont want to know the details.

​

Then, on the next festival, the very same we got to know each other, we came together. Seeing each other every 2 weeks, we convinced each other that its love for life, and i believe in it. I've never been so happy with someone, my friends confirm that. When i'm over we visit birthdays and even marriages together and everyone she has contact with has already heard about me from her. When shes over i just celebrate the fact how well she does with my friends and family, even planning stuff together like going hiking which was a blast.

​

She and her ex lived togther for 4 years, she paid for etherything and grew quite the debt. This debt was the reason it got pretty violent when she grew to resent him. And the reason shes afraid of money issues.

​

Now, she was in debt again and she sold pictures (and maybe more) of her online. I found out -by accident, shes using my laptop cause hers broke down, confronted her, she lied. I tested her with a fake account and bought pics of her she sent me before, telling me, shes only mine. Offer was posted as "Pics, Vids, Meetings and used underwear for pocket Money", ZIP-Code included, she removed that offer as i told her, telling me the meeting part was just to get attention. Sometimes she behaved very strangely in the week between posting it and me discovering it, theres some hours in between i have no idea what she did, but long-distance is like that. She said she stopped. I believe her. But i cant get the hurt to go away, all the while she needs my help to get over the fact her ex-fianceee still screws her over financial stuff. And i struggle to build trust again. Maybe i just need more time or to have a personal Talk, which is another week away. I didnt even consider breaking up, but i dont know what we should do best.

​

​

This all sounds pretty one sided - she listens to helps me with issues i have, is supportive in any way. The perfect gf, really. She says she loves me more than anything and i'm fighting myself to try and trust her again. To be there for her and try not to think what happens when some smeary guy recognizes her face from the pictures she sent.

​

I hope this is sufficient for a picture. Tell me anything to do, of you want to.

Submitted August 02, 2019 at 11:56PM

tl;dr Open Girl, Jealous guy - she did something inappropriate, i still believe shes the one and want to find trust again.​When me (M27) and my now gf (24) First Met, we both still had a relationship, both unhappy. It was on a metal festival, she braided my beard and i had to resist kissing her. I seldom ask for contact info, and if, its other dude that happens to like the same bands and alcohol as i do. I got hers.Half a year later i broke up, or better, my ex left me while i was 400km away for work and moved out (she had no way of moving stuff to her flat, so i did that for her when i came back, just to get rid of her ASAP, btw). My now gf happened to get into a really big fight over financials with her fiancee a month earlier, living on the couch of a (female) Friend for now. That was December.​January we started writing. Mid January it was Good Morning every Morning and Good night every evening. She lives 3 hours away, but March was the first meeting, after she finally settled into her new flat. I was part afraid of terminally falling in love, part expecting a weekend of fun. She had the whole thing planned out. Doing walks, visiting Monuments, good eating and good sex. So i fell terminally in love.​Beeing that i made very bad experiences i pesterized all my best friends with the fact that i cant do it, cant do a relationship over this distance. I'm a jealous guy, shes very open. She was always troubled and trying to get by, so she has a very colourful past, seeking love and understanding and i dont want to know the details.​Then, on the next festival, the very same we got to know each other, we came together. Seeing each other every 2 weeks, we convinced each other that its love for life, and i believe in it. I've never been so happy with someone, my friends confirm that. When i'm over we visit birthdays and even marriages together and everyone she has contact with has already heard about me from her. When shes over i just celebrate the fact how well she does with my friends and family, even planning stuff together like going hiking which was a blast.​She and her ex lived togther for 4 years, she paid for etherything and grew quite the debt. This debt was the reason it got pretty violent when she grew to resent him. And the reason shes afraid of money issues.​Now, she was in debt again and she sold pictures (and maybe more) of her online. I found out -by accident, shes using my laptop cause hers broke down, confronted her, she lied. I tested her with a fake account and bought pics of her she sent me before, telling me, shes only mine. Offer was posted as "Pics, Vids, Meetings and used underwear for pocket Money", ZIP-Code included, she removed that offer as i told her, telling me the meeting part was just to get attention. Sometimes she behaved very strangely in the week between posting it and me discovering it, theres some hours in between i have no idea what she did, but long-distance is like that. She said she stopped. I believe her. But i cant get the hurt to go away, all the while she needs my help to get over the fact her ex-fianceee still screws her over financial stuff. And i struggle to build trust again. Maybe i just need more time or to have a personal Talk, which is another week away. I didnt even consider breaking up, but i dont know what we should do best.​​This all sounds pretty one sided - she listens to helps me with issues i have, is supportive in any way. The perfect gf, really. She says she loves me more than anything and i'm fighting myself to try and trust her again. To be there for her and try not to think what happens when some smeary guy recognizes her face from the pictures she sent.​I hope this is sufficient for a picture. Tell me anything to do, of you want to.