My (M24) girlfriend (F23) of a year and a half and I are in a..I don't even know what to call it. Not a fight exactly but something. I need advice. People with BPD and people with S/Os with BPD please help me out too

So on Tuesday I went over her house and we were watching through all the marvel movies with her siblings, pretty normal. but the past few times we've hung out I've noticed she's been pretty distant and seeming like she was avoiding me and I get it, she has BPD and goes through periods of time where she's all cuddly and touchy and affectionate and then she goes through times where she doesn't want to be touched and needs her space.

So in my head I knew that that was the reason for the behavior but then another part of me was saying nope, it's you, you're annoying and everything you're doing annoys her. Those thoughts just kept itching at my mind and I got upset and had a bit of an attitude with her which she got pissed at me for. So the next morning I told her what was going on with me that led to that attitude and she told me how we've been dating over a year now and I should know that she goes through those periods of time and I said how yes I do, those thoughts just kept coming and coming and I just needed to know it wasn't me and it was all just in my head. and she said that no it wasn't me and I told her alright great that's all I needed to know. But of course that same morning another friend of ours who gets on her nerves a lot did basically the same thing that I did and sent her this long text about it so she was even more pissed that day because of that.

I thought that we at least were good cause then we were talking about our friend and her texts back and forth with her but even now she's still like making these sad posts on social media and is super cold to me, won't text me all day like we usually do and when she does it's just a couple of words at most. I'm at a loss of what to do. I hate that she feels this way and I hate that I played a part in her feeling this way and I hate that we're not ok right now. I don't know what to do, I want to talk to her more about it, about what happened and ask her to help me better understand things like that, because it's not always clear if something is wrong or if she's just in that weird time I just don't know how to make things better and it's killing me.

I want to ask her to help me better understand what she goes through so I can better identify when it's just that she's in that weird time, or at least get this past us, but I don't know if I should just try to talk over text or on the phone or try to do it in person or even if I should try to bring it up at all and just wait for her to be ok again and then ask her about it? I just am at a complete loss, I feel like no matter what I do it won't be the right thing to do. help.

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TLDR; girlfriend is mad at me for having an attitude with her over not knowing if I was annoying her or if it was just in my head, thought we settled it but now days later she is still cold to me and idk how to make things better again.

Submitted August 03, 2019 at 12:03AM

So on Tuesday I went over her house and we were watching through all the marvel movies with her siblings, pretty normal. but the past few times we've hung out I've noticed she's been pretty distant and seeming like she was avoiding me and I get it, she has BPD and goes through periods of time where she's all cuddly and touchy and affectionate and then she goes through times where she doesn't want to be touched and needs her space.So in my head I knew that that was the reason for the behavior but then another part of me was saying nope, it's you, you're annoying and everything you're doing annoys her. Those thoughts just kept itching at my mind and I got upset and had a bit of an attitude with her which she got pissed at me for. So the next morning I told her what was going on with me that led to that attitude and she told me how we've been dating over a year now and I should know that she goes through those periods of time and I said how yes I do, those thoughts just kept coming and coming and I just needed to know it wasn't me and it was all just in my head. and she said that no it wasn't me and I told her alright great that's all I needed to know. But of course that same morning another friend of ours who gets on her nerves a lot did basically the same thing that I did and sent her this long text about it so she was even more pissed that day because of that.I thought that we at least were good cause then we were talking about our friend and her texts back and forth with her but even now she's still like making these sad posts on social media and is super cold to me, won't text me all day like we usually do and when she does it's just a couple of words at most. I'm at a loss of what to do. I hate that she feels this way and I hate that I played a part in her feeling this way and I hate that we're not ok right now. I don't know what to do, I want to talk to her more about it, about what happened and ask her to help me better understand things like that, because it's not always clear if something is wrong or if she's just in that weird time I just don't know how to make things better and it's killing me.I want to ask her to help me better understand what she goes through so I can better identify when it's just that she's in that weird time, or at least get this past us, but I don't know if I should just try to talk over text or on the phone or try to do it in person or even if I should try to bring it up at all and just wait for her to be ok again and then ask her about it? I just am at a complete loss, I feel like no matter what I do it won't be the right thing to do. help.​TLDR; girlfriend is mad at me for having an attitude with her over not knowing if I was annoying her or if it was just in my head, thought we settled it but now days later she is still cold to me and idk how to make things better again.