My fiancée (23F) is depressed and suicidal but won’t get help.

Hi guys. I would have never thought to come here for help or opinions but I’m not sure what else to do. My (24F) fiancée (23F) has told me when we first started dating that she has waves of depression and I understood, i get them too. I was always able to calm her down and let her know i was there for her when she was having a panic attack or was in a depressed state before up until now. We have a fun, passionate amazing relationship but in the past 6 months when we have a disagreement it has turned into a full on breakdown from her, saying that no one cares about her and that she feels everything is pointless. I know this may sound like she’s just upset about the fight but it eventually leads into her saying she doesn’t want to be here and that she feels like nothing makes her happy anymore. She recently graduated with a degree and cannot find a good paying job and that is weighing on her heavily as well, she says she has no purpose. I try to tell her she isn’t the only one, thousands of students cannot find jobs right off the bat in their field. I get really scared and sad for her and i suggest going to get help and she says no because that’s not going to “change” her life or make anything better when she comes out of it and she would refuse to take medications they would prescribe (backstory: her ex was bi polar and ended up in a mental hospital but is out now on meds) she says she doesn’t want to be like her. I love my fiancée so much and seeing her be broken underneath everything is really getting to me. I don’t want to give her an ultimatum or anything like that because i don’t want to leave her but i have this picture in my head of her being dragged away by force to a hospital and i don’t want that either. I just wish she could see somebody could help her with coping skills and thinking differently about herself and the world. Sorry for the long post..

Tl;dr my fiancée is suicidal because she’s unhappy in the way her life is going but doesn’t believe therapy or help would benefit, instead bottles it up.



Submitted August 16, 2019 at 12:03AM

Hi guys. I would have never thought to come here for help or opinions but I’m not sure what else to do. My (24F) fiancée (23F) has told me when we first started dating that she has waves of depression and I understood, i get them too. I was always able to calm her down and let her know i was there for her when she was having a panic attack or was in a depressed state before up until now. We have a fun, passionate amazing relationship but in the past 6 months when we have a disagreement it has turned into a full on breakdown from her, saying that no one cares about her and that she feels everything is pointless. I know this may sound like she’s just upset about the fight but it eventually leads into her saying she doesn’t want to be here and that she feels like nothing makes her happy anymore. She recently graduated with a degree and cannot find a good paying job and that is weighing on her heavily as well, she says she has no purpose. I try to tell her she isn’t the only one, thousands of students cannot find jobs right off the bat in their field. I get really scared and sad for her and i suggest going to get help and she says no because that’s not going to “change” her life or make anything better when she comes out of it and she would refuse to take medications they would prescribe (backstory: her ex was bi polar and ended up in a mental hospital but is out now on meds) she says she doesn’t want to be like her. I love my fiancée so much and seeing her be broken underneath everything is really getting to me. I don’t want to give her an ultimatum or anything like that because i don’t want to leave her but i have this picture in my head of her being dragged away by force to a hospital and i don’t want that either. I just wish she could see somebody could help her with coping skills and thinking differently about herself and the world. Sorry for the long post..Tl;dr my fiancée is suicidal because she’s unhappy in the way her life is going but doesn’t believe therapy or help would benefit, instead bottles it up.
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