my [F18] boyfriend [17] can be very dramatic and edgy, and it’s frustrating; how do i talk to him about it without sounding like i’m attacking his character? and at what point are our differences too much?

i’m going to try to keep this relatively concise so as not to go on any tangents. quite frankly i may have to write a completely separate post for more universal differences between us, but that’s just depending on whether or not i feel like writing more. this is my alt account for more deeply personal things, because, reasons

we’ve been together since October 2017—nearly 2 years—and sometimes my boyfriend just does these little things that annoy me to no end (like i’m sure many other’s boyfriends do). i guess though i like to think of myself as forward-thinking in the sense that i’m always actively trying to imagine our future together since, of course, we are in a long-term relationship. and sometimes when he does little things like this, things that are completely harmless and inconsequential within themselves, i get a glimpse of myself going absolutely insane over them if things never changed 10 or so years down the line.

i’ll get to the point: the thing in question is that my boyfriend is sometimes incredibly over dramatic and edgy. i joke about it sometimes with my best friend because we all follow each other on instagram, and he uses he almost exclusively for posting “cursed” type images with obscure poetry captions. and every now and then he’ll start texting me about some problem or another he’s having, and it’ll suddenly turn into 15+ separate messages written essentially like a book, if that makes sense? like very long and *forcibly* eloquent prose, and i don’t think of myself as a particularly callous and insensitive, but every time this happens in the back of my mind i just feel like (1) dude, it’s not that serious and/or (2) get to the point.

* this just came to mind as i was writing. like i said his instagram captions are vague, but sometimes i *know* they’re about me. or he’ll post them at really coincidental times and then clam up when i ask him what’s wrong (recently we were in the middle of having sex, and i wasn’t feeling it so we stopped, and later i saw he posted something else immediately after. i confronted him about it and he was just like “it’s nothing it’s something else” and i didn’t ask anymore after. anyway.

last thing because i can *feel* myself going on a tangent. i’ll be quick because this one is just outright silly: he said something about wanting someone to have one of the vertebrae on his spine when he dies and i said “u are so edgy sometimes” and he immediately got really defensive when i wasn’t saying it in a negative way.

i don’t know, i guess i just want advice on how to bring this up in conversation without making it sound like i’m making a personal attack on him. it’s genuinely exhausting sometimes. and, secondary question, at what point do these little differences in personality become too much? 

anyway. TL;DR: my boyfriend’s kinda edgy sometimes, and even though it’s not a bad thing on it’s own, i think it’s pretty annoying. how do i talk to him about this, and at what point are we too different?

Submitted August 15, 2019 at 11:45PM

i’m going to try to keep this relatively concise so as not to go on any tangents. quite frankly i may have to write a completely separate post for more universal differences between us, but that’s just depending on whether or not i feel like writing more. this is my alt account for more deeply personal things, because, reasonswe’ve been together since October 2017—nearly 2 years—and sometimes my boyfriend just does these little things that annoy me to no end (like i’m sure many other’s boyfriends do). i guess though i like to think of myself as forward-thinking in the sense that i’m always actively trying to imagine our future together since, of course, we are in a long-term relationship. and sometimes when he does little things like this, things that are completely harmless and inconsequential within themselves, i get a glimpse of myself going absolutely insane over them if things never changed 10 or so years down the line.i’ll get to the point: the thing in question is that my boyfriend is sometimes incredibly over dramatic and edgy. i joke about it sometimes with my best friend because we all follow each other on instagram, and he uses he almost exclusively for posting “cursed” type images with obscure poetry captions. and every now and then he’ll start texting me about some problem or another he’s having, and it’ll suddenly turn into 15+ separate messages written essentially like a book, if that makes sense? like very long and *forcibly* eloquent prose, and i don’t think of myself as a particularly callous and insensitive, but every time this happens in the back of my mind i just feel like (1) dude, it’s not that serious and/or (2) get to the point.* this just came to mind as i was writing. like i said his instagram captions are vague, but sometimes i *know* they’re about me. or he’ll post them at really coincidental times and then clam up when i ask him what’s wrong (recently we were in the middle of having sex, and i wasn’t feeling it so we stopped, and later i saw he posted something else immediately after. i confronted him about it and he was just like “it’s nothing it’s something else” and i didn’t ask anymore after. anyway.last thing because i can *feel* myself going on a tangent. i’ll be quick because this one is just outright silly: he said something about wanting someone to have one of the vertebrae on his spine when he dies and i said “u are so edgy sometimes” and he immediately got really defensive when i wasn’t saying it in a negative way.i don’t know, i guess i just want advice on how to bring this up in conversation without making it sound like i’m making a personal attack on him. it’s genuinely exhausting sometimes. and, secondary question, at what point do these little differences in personality become too much? anyway. TL;DR: my boyfriend’s kinda edgy sometimes, and even though it’s not a bad thing on it’s own, i think it’s pretty annoying. how do i talk to him about this, and at what point are we too different?