I’m 22, pregnant, and boyfriend is unpredictably toxic. I don’t know what to do

Everything was fine at first. We meshed so well and had so much fun together, and still do when he’s not crazy. It was like I found the puzzle piece that finally fit. He’s the only person I can be goofy around and we crack each other up every time we are around each other. He has become my best friend. He’s passionate and honestly the best sexual partner I’ve ever had. I really thought he was perfect.

 The issue is, he’s a former addict and has some deep seated mental issues. I kicked him out because he would get drunk, be verbally abusive and wouldn’t let me leave if I needed to. it got to the point where he physically hurt me (this was right before I found out I was pregnant) all because I was trying to leave the situation. I found out I was pregnant after we broke up, so I took him back in hopes that we could make it work. He continued to drink and take drugs and be toxic. he wouldn’t get a job while I was pregnant, with absolutely no energy, and still getting up and working every single day. So I kicked him out of the house again. He says he will change and made an appointment to see a therapist. I thought it was progress. The same day he got drunk and went out driving, flipped his car and got his second dui. When I got there, he was crying, banging his head against the cop car and was trying to get out of his cuffs. I tried to calm him down the best I could. The cop didn’t hurt him out of respect for me, although honestly, he should have. He is on house arrest now. I ignored him for a couple of days but I felt sorry for him, as always, and started going to his house to visit him so he wouldn’t be so lonely. It has been a couple weeks and today he started a fight out of nowhere, over literally nothing. He said I was saying a word wrong, so I googled it to prove him wrong. He got pissed out of nowhere and called me a c*nt, so I started getting my stuff together so I could leave. I always try to leave when he gets like that so it won’t escalate but the opposite usually happens. He held me hostage again, as he has done many times and wouldn’t allow me to leave. Stood in the doorway blocking me whilst insulting me. He didn’t care that I was crying. He pushed my buttons until I absolutely lost it and got physical with him. I’m not a violent person. I had to bulldoze my way out of the house. I’m 13 weeks pregnant and I’ve been stressed the entire time and I’m honestly surprised my baby is okay. He apologized when I got home but I don’t know if he’s actually sorry. He keeps hurting me and apologizing and it’s really messing with my head since I do love him so much and I want us to be a family. He’s using that fact against me I think. I want it to work with him but I don’t know how to make it work when he won’t straighten up. I’m very scared and heartbroken. I don’t deserve this and it was never supposed to be like this. 

TLDR: I love my boyfriend so much, but he is randomly abusive and has not supported me in my pregnancy.

Submitted August 15, 2019 at 11:38PM

Everything was fine at first. We meshed so well and had so much fun together, and still do when he’s not crazy. It was like I found the puzzle piece that finally fit. He’s the only person I can be goofy around and we crack each other up every time we are around each other. He has become my best friend. He’s passionate and honestly the best sexual partner I’ve ever had. I really thought he was perfect. The issue is, he’s a former addict and has some deep seated mental issues. I kicked him out because he would get drunk, be verbally abusive and wouldn’t let me leave if I needed to. it got to the point where he physically hurt me (this was right before I found out I was pregnant) all because I was trying to leave the situation. I found out I was pregnant after we broke up, so I took him back in hopes that we could make it work. He continued to drink and take drugs and be toxic. he wouldn’t get a job while I was pregnant, with absolutely no energy, and still getting up and working every single day. So I kicked him out of the house again. He says he will change and made an appointment to see a therapist. I thought it was progress. The same day he got drunk and went out driving, flipped his car and got his second dui. When I got there, he was crying, banging his head against the cop car and was trying to get out of his cuffs. I tried to calm him down the best I could. The cop didn’t hurt him out of respect for me, although honestly, he should have. He is on house arrest now. I ignored him for a couple of days but I felt sorry for him, as always, and started going to his house to visit him so he wouldn’t be so lonely. It has been a couple weeks and today he started a fight out of nowhere, over literally nothing. He said I was saying a word wrong, so I googled it to prove him wrong. He got pissed out of nowhere and called me a c*nt, so I started getting my stuff together so I could leave. I always try to leave when he gets like that so it won’t escalate but the opposite usually happens. He held me hostage again, as he has done many times and wouldn’t allow me to leave. Stood in the doorway blocking me whilst insulting me. He didn’t care that I was crying. He pushed my buttons until I absolutely lost it and got physical with him. I’m not a violent person. I had to bulldoze my way out of the house. I’m 13 weeks pregnant and I’ve been stressed the entire time and I’m honestly surprised my baby is okay. He apologized when I got home but I don’t know if he’s actually sorry. He keeps hurting me and apologizing and it’s really messing with my head since I do love him so much and I want us to be a family. He’s using that fact against me I think. I want it to work with him but I don’t know how to make it work when he won’t straighten up. I’m very scared and heartbroken. I don’t deserve this and it was never supposed to be like this. TLDR: I love my boyfriend so much, but he is randomly abusive and has not supported me in my pregnancy.