I (23F) feel extremely sad after I hang out with my boyfriend’s (22M) friends

Throwaway because I feel embarrassed about this.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months. We are both really social and extroverted but I find myself feeling depressed during and after I hang out with his group of friends. I recently graduated from college and almost all of my friends have moved away, so when I’m with him and a big group of his friends I feel jealous and upset because I used to have a really close-knit group. I even feel jealous when they roast him for things because I miss being close with people like that. He mostly hangs out with other guys and I don’t have much in common with them so it’s hard to be myself. I also feel depressed because I no longer have a group identity and I have no one to bring him around. As for making friends, I am friendly with a lot of people, but there’s something about making friends in your twenties that is so difficult and weird for some reason. Other than this, we have a healthy and loving relationship and I don’t want this to put a strain on us. He knows that I feel sad about my lack of close friends in proximity to me, but doesn’t know that I’m sad to the extent of crying in my car after I’m with him and his friends. I know this may be a personal issue and I should seek professional help for dealing with these feelings, but is there anything I can do to help it?

TL,DR: My boyfriend has a lot of close friends and I feel jealous and depressed because I don’t have any.



Submitted July 02, 2019 at 11:59PM

Throwaway because I feel embarrassed about this.My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months. We are both really social and extroverted but I find myself feeling depressed during and after I hang out with his group of friends. I recently graduated from college and almost all of my friends have moved away, so when I’m with him and a big group of his friends I feel jealous and upset because I used to have a really close-knit group. I even feel jealous when they roast him for things because I miss being close with people like that. He mostly hangs out with other guys and I don’t have much in common with them so it’s hard to be myself. I also feel depressed because I no longer have a group identity and I have no one to bring him around. As for making friends, I am friendly with a lot of people, but there’s something about making friends in your twenties that is so difficult and weird for some reason. Other than this, we have a healthy and loving relationship and I don’t want this to put a strain on us. He knows that I feel sad about my lack of close friends in proximity to me, but doesn’t know that I’m sad to the extent of crying in my car after I’m with him and his friends. I know this may be a personal issue and I should seek professional help for dealing with these feelings, but is there anything I can do to help it?TL,DR: My boyfriend has a lot of close friends and I feel jealous and depressed because I don’t have any.
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