My roommate is stealing and making me sick

Hi everyone, I (21F) have been having lots of issues with my roommate (21F). I think it’s to the point where she is trying to make me sick/ crazy by stealing my things. We’ve been living together for two years and I stopped talking to her, because I realized/think she was making me sick and rummaging through my things.

To begin, we were close friends in first year of university, I met her through a friend and we use to all hang out. My whole life I’ve never really gotten sick, and when I did it was about once or twice a year and a mild cold at most. But, looking back to when I started getting extremely sick and experiencing weird things it all happened when I was with her. First, when we got close I realized how clingy she was, always wanting to be together, texting me all the time and asking why I won’t respond or why I wasn’t in my normal spot in the library for the day even when I didn’t make plans to go with her. This roommate appears really sweet and caring but she was so clingy and manipulative. And in the least rude way possible she’s never really had friends.. so she would always want to be around me or get mad when her only other friend (old roommate) wouldn’t spend time with her. This roommate of mine admitted to a few friends and I that she has mono, and said she know when she’s sick with it again and will inform us as it is contagious.. Fast-forward, I got extremely sick and thought I just had a really bad cold. I had even forgotten she had mono as she never mentioned it again. Never went to a doctor, just fought it off. I remember when we went out she was always insistent on sharing drinks. I still hadn’t put this together. Then, in second year, we moved in together and all the trouble started.. I got sick again, we use to cook together, we had a Brita filter in the fridge and again she would insist on sharing drinks when we would pre etc to go out. I also feel as though she was spitting or something in our water filter to make me sick. And this time around my friend came to visit and got bronchitis too after sharing a drink with her. She texted me about it and said she’s never been so sick and it happened after she spent the weekend. We both had really bad coughing fits, extreme fatigue, soar throat and just overall a bad mood for weeks. She made a point to mention it was probably just a bad cold and acted kind of shocked when I said I was going to see a doctor. I ended up being diagnosed with bronchitis and had to get a puffer and antibiotics. This year I stopped hanging out with her completely and sharing anything with her and I did not get sick at all.. not even with a cold the entire school year.

Now to touch on her stealing and messing with my things. We both would leave our doors unlocked, and I remember the first time because some of my clothes started appearing with holes in them, some of my jewellery etc. Went messing and things would be moved in my room.. we went to the gym and I picked up one of my shirts I would always wear when we would go and it had tiny holes all over it and I told her and she said it was probably bugs, there are these specific ones that like to eat cotton.. I’ve never experienced that ever in my life. This happened to four of my shirts.. I have really bad anxiety and depression and I was finally seeking help after struggling in silence for years, and on top of being extremely sick my school year was really bad and I had withdrawn from life in general. Needless to say I wasn’t spending as much time with her and just being in the library and then bed all day every day. My counsellor advised me as a way to help is to write out what was making me feel bad etc and I did. I put it on my pin board and left for the day.. She called me crying and said she had “peaked into my room to see if I was home and saw it” the note was on my pin board all the way past the entrance of my door to “peak” in.. she played victim. I wrote that she was stressing me out as besides getting sick and cutting up my clothes and touching my things.. she was also slamming doors and being loud in her room deliberately because she was upset at me.. even though she did not know what was happening in my life. I know this and it was confirmed as we had argument/texted about us being distant and me confronting her about her childish behaviour. Anyways, she was crying and crying and I told her everything isn’t about her, explained and we kind of just swept it under the rug. But I could not see her the same after that. I started seeing her true colours and was completely turned off by her actions and deceit of actually snooping around through my things. I accepted her apology but just completely distanced myself from her.

Now this year we live in a new apartment with another roommate and I think she still goes into my room.. after months I found a shirt again with holes in it.. we don’t have any bugs in this apartment. We are cordial, but I slowly started avoiding her and ignoring her. I swear she would touch my toothbrush and face wash as one time it smelt like cleaning supplies. Through all this I just threw away things I was suspicious of and became more weary of what I left in the bathroom. But it got so bad to the point that I took my things out of the bathroom.

One of the biggest things is missing containers from the kitchen.. I know it was her. We all share kitchen space and have our own food containers.. over the months most of mine went missing magically and some of the similar ones we had she wrote her name on them as though she got them from work.. but I know which are mine because I was the only one to order soup from a to go food place. She went ahead and wrote her name on it and took it for herself.. I just let all of this go. Always! But I am not willing to put up with it for my final year. I finally worked up the confidence to ask my landlord for a lock on my door once the school year ended, but I want to catch her with proof so I can confront her for being a terrible person. I know she won’t change and this upcoming school year she’ll still do the same, what should I do? Should I install a camera in my room? This is only a gist of all the conflict and things that have happened.. I just said what has been really bothering me and I don’t want to make this too long. I appreciate anyone who actually takes the time to read this and any advice.

I’ve also started taking pictures etc. As she’ll say or take things that she “thinks” are hers in the kitchen etc. She’s just so awful.. worst part about it is she plays to be a nice person. I even told a friend about it all and she’s witnessed some of her behaviour..

TL;DR: my roommate has been making me sick and stealing my things...

Submitted June 24, 2019 at 11:33PM

Hi everyone, I (21F) have been having lots of issues with my roommate (21F). I think it’s to the point where she is trying to make me sick/ crazy by stealing my things. We’ve been living together for two years and I stopped talking to her, because I realized/think she was making me sick and rummaging through my things.To begin, we were close friends in first year of university, I met her through a friend and we use to all hang out. My whole life I’ve never really gotten sick, and when I did it was about once or twice a year and a mild cold at most. But, looking back to when I started getting extremely sick and experiencing weird things it all happened when I was with her. First, when we got close I realized how clingy she was, always wanting to be together, texting me all the time and asking why I won’t respond or why I wasn’t in my normal spot in the library for the day even when I didn’t make plans to go with her. This roommate appears really sweet and caring but she was so clingy and manipulative. And in the least rude way possible she’s never really had friends.. so she would always want to be around me or get mad when her only other friend (old roommate) wouldn’t spend time with her. This roommate of mine admitted to a few friends and I that she has mono, and said she know when she’s sick with it again and will inform us as it is contagious.. Fast-forward, I got extremely sick and thought I just had a really bad cold. I had even forgotten she had mono as she never mentioned it again. Never went to a doctor, just fought it off. I remember when we went out she was always insistent on sharing drinks. I still hadn’t put this together. Then, in second year, we moved in together and all the trouble started.. I got sick again, we use to cook together, we had a Brita filter in the fridge and again she would insist on sharing drinks when we would pre etc to go out. I also feel as though she was spitting or something in our water filter to make me sick. And this time around my friend came to visit and got bronchitis too after sharing a drink with her. She texted me about it and said she’s never been so sick and it happened after she spent the weekend. We both had really bad coughing fits, extreme fatigue, soar throat and just overall a bad mood for weeks. She made a point to mention it was probably just a bad cold and acted kind of shocked when I said I was going to see a doctor. I ended up being diagnosed with bronchitis and had to get a puffer and antibiotics. This year I stopped hanging out with her completely and sharing anything with her and I did not get sick at all.. not even with a cold the entire school year.Now to touch on her stealing and messing with my things. We both would leave our doors unlocked, and I remember the first time because some of my clothes started appearing with holes in them, some of my jewellery etc. Went messing and things would be moved in my room.. we went to the gym and I picked up one of my shirts I would always wear when we would go and it had tiny holes all over it and I told her and she said it was probably bugs, there are these specific ones that like to eat cotton.. I’ve never experienced that ever in my life. This happened to four of my shirts.. I have really bad anxiety and depression and I was finally seeking help after struggling in silence for years, and on top of being extremely sick my school year was really bad and I had withdrawn from life in general. Needless to say I wasn’t spending as much time with her and just being in the library and then bed all day every day. My counsellor advised me as a way to help is to write out what was making me feel bad etc and I did. I put it on my pin board and left for the day.. She called me crying and said she had “peaked into my room to see if I was home and saw it” the note was on my pin board all the way past the entrance of my door to “peak” in.. she played victim. I wrote that she was stressing me out as besides getting sick and cutting up my clothes and touching my things.. she was also slamming doors and being loud in her room deliberately because she was upset at me.. even though she did not know what was happening in my life. I know this and it was confirmed as we had argument/texted about us being distant and me confronting her about her childish behaviour. Anyways, she was crying and crying and I told her everything isn’t about her, explained and we kind of just swept it under the rug. But I could not see her the same after that. I started seeing her true colours and was completely turned off by her actions and deceit of actually snooping around through my things. I accepted her apology but just completely distanced myself from her.Now this year we live in a new apartment with another roommate and I think she still goes into my room.. after months I found a shirt again with holes in it.. we don’t have any bugs in this apartment. We are cordial, but I slowly started avoiding her and ignoring her. I swear she would touch my toothbrush and face wash as one time it smelt like cleaning supplies. Through all this I just threw away things I was suspicious of and became more weary of what I left in the bathroom. But it got so bad to the point that I took my things out of the bathroom.One of the biggest things is missing containers from the kitchen.. I know it was her. We all share kitchen space and have our own food containers.. over the months most of mine went missing magically and some of the similar ones we had she wrote her name on them as though she got them from work.. but I know which are mine because I was the only one to order soup from a to go food place. She went ahead and wrote her name on it and took it for herself.. I just let all of this go. Always! But I am not willing to put up with it for my final year. I finally worked up the confidence to ask my landlord for a lock on my door once the school year ended, but I want to catch her with proof so I can confront her for being a terrible person. I know she won’t change and this upcoming school year she’ll still do the same, what should I do? Should I install a camera in my room? This is only a gist of all the conflict and things that have happened.. I just said what has been really bothering me and I don’t want to make this too long. I appreciate anyone who actually takes the time to read this and any advice.I’ve also started taking pictures etc. As she’ll say or take things that she “thinks” are hers in the kitchen etc. She’s just so awful.. worst part about it is she plays to be a nice person. I even told a friend about it all and she’s witnessed some of her behaviour..TL;DR: my roommate has been making me sick and stealing my things...