I [22F] can't tell whether to drop the guy [20M] I've been talking with. Trust Issues.

This will be quite long, so skip to the TL;DR if you do not wish to read all the details!

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I met this guy recently, let's call him R, and immediately began crushing on him primarily due to his physical appearance. I've been recovering from my previous break-up which has hit me quite hard, and honestly I haven't completely recovered from. It's been nearly a year since my break-up and I later meet R and we've been communicating via Snapchat the past 2-3 weeks.

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I have major trust issues with guys due to personal experience. I've been naive in the past, fell for charming guys and the sweet things they've said, only to know it meant absolutely nothing and they turn out different than what they've initially led on. I have the same reservations about R.

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R can be very dry when communicating via text. When we first started texting, it was quite difficult to really enjoy chatting with him because of his texting style. Eventually, we voice chatted and that's when R started to become more active with chatting with me. It became more enjoyable, but I told him straight up I'm not looking for anything casual or more than friends, although I did say I found him attractive as so did he. His flirting definitely picked up, said he was getting into me and even started to call me "babe", which I found a bit uncomfortable at first and told him. He stopped, but later picked up on calling me "babe" again. He recently went on a 5 day trip abroad and kept updating me throughout. We got even closer during his trip, and voice chatted quite a few times and stayed up late texting and getting to know each other.

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The reason why I have my doubts with this guy is because of how fast things are just moving. The first night we stayed up texting until 4am, I kept telling him I'm apprehensive with all this because of my past, and that I'd prefer to keep things superficial between us if the flirting were to continue (this is to avoid getting my hopes up). R told me he's interested in getting to know me more, and believes the more we get to know each other and talk, it'll start being more than superficial. He kept telling me how it's alright if I'm apprehensive, and that he feels that I'm resisting what I'm feeling. From here on out, he would text me good morning with hearts and with more enthusiasm.

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Two nights later we voice chatted until 6am. It started initially with me just verbally chatting while he typed in response as his friends were around him sleeping. Eventually he decided to just verbally talk as well and ditch the typing. We chatted about our history, how he's slept with a decent amount of girls, you know into the whole casual sex thing. I am personally not into that, I don't do casual sex. I told him I'm even more apprehensive now because of his values on sex. He said he understands, but insisted that he didn't want me to be a fling of some sort. He said that he's starting to really like me and is willing to invest in talking with me more, etc. and would wait for me. I called bullshit. I reiterated how this is all just infatuation and it'll die down soon enough.

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Fast forward when he returns from his trip, he continues to send me snaps on snapchat throughout the day, and sent me quite a few suggestive and nude snaps as well. I became wary and asked him again to be real with me. If I was just some booty call or not. R stated that if I was, he would've quit awhile ago because I'm not exactly easy and said ideally he'd like me to be a future girlfriend. Again, I call bullshit. The next evening we ended up webcamming and he seemed really chill and laid-back. He seemed like a sweet guy and really casual like me, but eventually things escalated. R ended up masturbating and seemed like he wanted me to join. I didn't. I felt really awkward and uncomfortable and eventually told him I just didn't have the urge to. He ended up saying he needs a sec, and hung up the call. He texted me that he's going to stop. I just told him to finish considering he's in this far. He asked me if he should, and I just told him go ahead. He fell asleep, and that's when the thoughts of whether this is what he wanted flooded my mind.

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Did he just want a friend with benefits? Why did that escalate so quickly? I even left him messages directly asking this, but ended up deleting them before he saw and decided to see how things panned out from here on out. One thing that's definitely changed: He doesn't text me as much anymore. I don't hear from him as much, he doesn't send me as many snaps. He recently had a 3-day trip down to LA and pretty much never heard from him. He did snap me in the morning after he arrived to LA, apologizing he wasn't able to text me the day before. He recently returned from LA and started texting and communicating with me more again, still calls me babe, but the frequency is definitely less. I honestly figured he'd ghost me by now because I've decided I was right and was just some booty call.

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We texted again last night, he sent me some more suggestive snaps and what not, calling me babe and all that. I eventually addressed that night where he masturbated and apologized if I made it awkward or uncomfortable in any way. He then laughed it off and said that he's the one that's sorry and didn't want me to be uncomfortable. Things were normal again and we both said goodnight to one another. I still have my thoughts set on him simply being bored of me now. I feel like the high has passed and don't really message him as much nor do I expect him to message me. R surprisingly messaged me good morning this morning, which he hasn't since his trip abroad the week prior. The conversation throughout the day was really dry again, just short simple responses now. At some point I just didn't respond because I felt the conversation was just too dry for me.

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In summary, I feel like at this point I want R to ghost me. I was afraid of this happening, both of us getting bored of each other. I even told him the week before that he'll get bored of me, but R insisted that he doesn't think he will and feels really happy whenever I'm in his company. This is honestly what I expected to happen though, our conversations getting less and less enthusiastic and his interest lessening, because it sure feels that way. I'm just curious what the hell was his motive because why would he stay up late at night talking to me. I also gave him multiple opportunities to be real with me and just say that he wanted a friend with benefits. I also joked with him yesterday that I figured he'd ghost me by now, to which he responded "no I wouldn't haha".

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In other words, I'm curious as to what you guys think. Just reading this back to myself I feel the answer is so obvious, but it also makes me question why did he even stay up with me those nights, and say all that crap about being genuine. It's seriously a huge time waster for both him and I. Should I just drop him at this point while I'm not in too deep yet?

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TL;DR: Met a guy recently (let's call him R) and crushing on him hard since recovering from my break-up last year. R and I have been communicating via snapchat, and I get the vibe he is a fuck boy. R and I texted each other throughout the days, and R stayed up all night with me a few times over a call, states he really likes me and would like to date in the future. I am apprehensive due to my past of having experienced sweet talkers who were nothing but charmers and would say things they wouldn't mean. I gave R many opportunities to be real with me and say whether he just wanted a fuck buddy, to which he kept insisting no. One night we webcammed, R masturbated and I didn't join. Since then, communication has decreased, but R still occasionally messages me and reassures he is not bored of me nor would ghost me. Communication is very dry now. Were my instincts right and should I drop him?

Submitted June 25, 2019 at 12:04AM

This will be quite long, so skip to the TL;DR if you do not wish to read all the details!​I met this guy recently, let's call him R, and immediately began crushing on him primarily due to his physical appearance. I've been recovering from my previous break-up which has hit me quite hard, and honestly I haven't completely recovered from. It's been nearly a year since my break-up and I later meet R and we've been communicating via Snapchat the past 2-3 weeks.​I have major trust issues with guys due to personal experience. I've been naive in the past, fell for charming guys and the sweet things they've said, only to know it meant absolutely nothing and they turn out different than what they've initially led on. I have the same reservations about R.​R can be very dry when communicating via text. When we first started texting, it was quite difficult to really enjoy chatting with him because of his texting style. Eventually, we voice chatted and that's when R started to become more active with chatting with me. It became more enjoyable, but I told him straight up I'm not looking for anything casual or more than friends, although I did say I found him attractive as so did he. His flirting definitely picked up, said he was getting into me and even started to call me "babe", which I found a bit uncomfortable at first and told him. He stopped, but later picked up on calling me "babe" again. He recently went on a 5 day trip abroad and kept updating me throughout. We got even closer during his trip, and voice chatted quite a few times and stayed up late texting and getting to know each other.​The reason why I have my doubts with this guy is because of how fast things are just moving. The first night we stayed up texting until 4am, I kept telling him I'm apprehensive with all this because of my past, and that I'd prefer to keep things superficial between us if the flirting were to continue (this is to avoid getting my hopes up). R told me he's interested in getting to know me more, and believes the more we get to know each other and talk, it'll start being more than superficial. He kept telling me how it's alright if I'm apprehensive, and that he feels that I'm resisting what I'm feeling. From here on out, he would text me good morning with hearts and with more enthusiasm.​Two nights later we voice chatted until 6am. It started initially with me just verbally chatting while he typed in response as his friends were around him sleeping. Eventually he decided to just verbally talk as well and ditch the typing. We chatted about our history, how he's slept with a decent amount of girls, you know into the whole casual sex thing. I am personally not into that, I don't do casual sex. I told him I'm even more apprehensive now because of his values on sex. He said he understands, but insisted that he didn't want me to be a fling of some sort. He said that he's starting to really like me and is willing to invest in talking with me more, etc. and would wait for me. I called bullshit. I reiterated how this is all just infatuation and it'll die down soon enough.​Fast forward when he returns from his trip, he continues to send me snaps on snapchat throughout the day, and sent me quite a few suggestive and nude snaps as well. I became wary and asked him again to be real with me. If I was just some booty call or not. R stated that if I was, he would've quit awhile ago because I'm not exactly easy and said ideally he'd like me to be a future girlfriend. Again, I call bullshit. The next evening we ended up webcamming and he seemed really chill and laid-back. He seemed like a sweet guy and really casual like me, but eventually things escalated. R ended up masturbating and seemed like he wanted me to join. I didn't. I felt really awkward and uncomfortable and eventually told him I just didn't have the urge to. He ended up saying he needs a sec, and hung up the call. He texted me that he's going to stop. I just told him to finish considering he's in this far. He asked me if he should, and I just told him go ahead. He fell asleep, and that's when the thoughts of whether this is what he wanted flooded my mind.​Did he just want a friend with benefits? Why did that escalate so quickly? I even left him messages directly asking this, but ended up deleting them before he saw and decided to see how things panned out from here on out. One thing that's definitely changed: He doesn't text me as much anymore. I don't hear from him as much, he doesn't send me as many snaps. He recently had a 3-day trip down to LA and pretty much never heard from him. He did snap me in the morning after he arrived to LA, apologizing he wasn't able to text me the day before. He recently returned from LA and started texting and communicating with me more again, still calls me babe, but the frequency is definitely less. I honestly figured he'd ghost me by now because I've decided I was right and was just some booty call.​We texted again last night, he sent me some more suggestive snaps and what not, calling me babe and all that. I eventually addressed that night where he masturbated and apologized if I made it awkward or uncomfortable in any way. He then laughed it off and said that he's the one that's sorry and didn't want me to be uncomfortable. Things were normal again and we both said goodnight to one another. I still have my thoughts set on him simply being bored of me now. I feel like the high has passed and don't really message him as much nor do I expect him to message me. R surprisingly messaged me good morning this morning, which he hasn't since his trip abroad the week prior. The conversation throughout the day was really dry again, just short simple responses now. At some point I just didn't respond because I felt the conversation was just too dry for me.​In summary, I feel like at this point I want R to ghost me. I was afraid of this happening, both of us getting bored of each other. I even told him the week before that he'll get bored of me, but R insisted that he doesn't think he will and feels really happy whenever I'm in his company. This is honestly what I expected to happen though, our conversations getting less and less enthusiastic and his interest lessening, because it sure feels that way. I'm just curious what the hell was his motive because why would he stay up late at night talking to me. I also gave him multiple opportunities to be real with me and just say that he wanted a friend with benefits. I also joked with him yesterday that I figured he'd ghost me by now, to which he responded "no I wouldn't haha".​In other words, I'm curious as to what you guys think. Just reading this back to myself I feel the answer is so obvious, but it also makes me question why did he even stay up with me those nights, and say all that crap about being genuine. It's seriously a huge time waster for both him and I. Should I just drop him at this point while I'm not in too deep yet?​TL;DR: Met a guy recently (let's call him R) and crushing on him hard since recovering from my break-up last year. R and I have been communicating via snapchat, and I get the vibe he is a fuck boy. R and I texted each other throughout the days, and R stayed up all night with me a few times over a call, states he really likes me and would like to date in the future. I am apprehensive due to my past of having experienced sweet talkers who were nothing but charmers and would say things they wouldn't mean. I gave R many opportunities to be real with me and say whether he just wanted a fuck buddy, to which he kept insisting no. One night we webcammed, R masturbated and I didn't join. Since then, communication has decreased, but R still occasionally messages me and reassures he is not bored of me nor would ghost me. Communication is very dry now. Were my instincts right and should I drop him?