How do I [F/23] keep my cool in this situation?

We broke up a few months ago, things were fine. We handled the breakup maturely and we've both moved on. He's seeing someone else, I'm just kind of seeing what's out there before I make any big decisions.

The past week or so, my ex has got very rude. It started with him blocking me on social media. I was confused, so messaged asking why. He said that I'm crazy, would mess up his new relationship, stalk him. I don't do any of these things. I've checked his Instagram maybe once or twice a month just to see. I don't make a habit of it. I'm not crazy either.

We argued. He called me a liar, said I talked about him behind his back, left him with insecurities, was awful, he never knew me. I never lied, I never talked about him behind his back, and I (to the best of my knowledge) didn't do anything that could cause insecurity. I was 100% in the relationship from the second we started dating, and if he had any issues I would have been willing to work on them.

This evening he messaged me again, calling me a liar, saying he knows what I'm up to in my life and that he knows everything. The thing is, nothing has gone on. I've been sat thinking about what I could have done. Nothing. I've kept my feelings very close and only spoken with very close friends about any issues. I don't know where it's come from. He kept telling me how awful my life is and how I need to go sort myself out. By all accounts, I'm doing very well. I'm starting my research PhD next year. I have a plan, it's just going to take me a little while to get there. We worked in similar jobs until last year as well.

He works on my street. His comment of knowing what I'm up to when I'm at work has really unnerved me. He's refusing to tell me what it is I've done. We have a lot of mutual friends, I'm scared he's going to tell them the lies (such as that I'm a gossip and a liar and awful etc) and that they'll believe it.

I don't know what to do. I've been so nervous all day thinking he's going to make work and life difficult for me. I know he's been talking to people about me and spreading lies, but he denies it.

​

TL;DR: Ex is making things a little difficult for me. Just need advice.



Submitted June 25, 2019 at 12:09AM

We broke up a few months ago, things were fine. We handled the breakup maturely and we've both moved on. He's seeing someone else, I'm just kind of seeing what's out there before I make any big decisions.The past week or so, my ex has got very rude. It started with him blocking me on social media. I was confused, so messaged asking why. He said that I'm crazy, would mess up his new relationship, stalk him. I don't do any of these things. I've checked his Instagram maybe once or twice a month just to see. I don't make a habit of it. I'm not crazy either.We argued. He called me a liar, said I talked about him behind his back, left him with insecurities, was awful, he never knew me. I never lied, I never talked about him behind his back, and I (to the best of my knowledge) didn't do anything that could cause insecurity. I was 100% in the relationship from the second we started dating, and if he had any issues I would have been willing to work on them.This evening he messaged me again, calling me a liar, saying he knows what I'm up to in my life and that he knows everything. The thing is, nothing has gone on. I've been sat thinking about what I could have done. Nothing. I've kept my feelings very close and only spoken with very close friends about any issues. I don't know where it's come from. He kept telling me how awful my life is and how I need to go sort myself out. By all accounts, I'm doing very well. I'm starting my research PhD next year. I have a plan, it's just going to take me a little while to get there. We worked in similar jobs until last year as well.He works on my street. His comment of knowing what I'm up to when I'm at work has really unnerved me. He's refusing to tell me what it is I've done. We have a lot of mutual friends, I'm scared he's going to tell them the lies (such as that I'm a gossip and a liar and awful etc) and that they'll believe it.I don't know what to do. I've been so nervous all day thinking he's going to make work and life difficult for me. I know he's been talking to people about me and spreading lies, but he denies it.​TL;DR: Ex is making things a little difficult for me. Just need advice.
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