Friend Advice needed- I (28yF) am questioning how to support my friend (28yF) who is taking it FAST with a new guy (33yM)

My friend (28yF) met a guy online. A couple of weeks into dating, he shared that he is moving across the US for his job. By a month in to dating he set the expectation that she would be moving with him in August (12 weeks from starting to date) if all works out. He says he doesnt expect her to move without a ring. He has plans to have kids, live on the ocean, have separate bank accounts), etc. These conversations were all before I met the guy around week 4 of them dating. He invited her to travel to Europe for 2 weeks, 6weeks in to dating. She went. Her feedback to me was that they did some amazing things, but she was super up and down with him and did want more alone time than they had.

Before meeting her BF (33yM), I learned that my friend was super hopeful that this could workout despite how crazy fast things would move. My friend said she would move for someone she loves, but she wasnt "there" yet. She shared with me all if his ideas for the future, which felt very much like he has it all planned out, but just needs a women to fill that part of his expectation (my opinion).

When I met the BF, he asked me 2 total questions about myself even though I was introduced as her best friend. He rubbed me the wrong way in that he is super sarcastic, but I tried to look past the sarcasm for myself and just asked my friend what thought of his sarcasm, which she did say she takes personally often.

A quick example- he jokingly said she looked pregnant in her morning t-shirt pajamas. She didnt feel comfortable asking him if he meant she looked fat or if it was in a cute way. She assumed he meant the former.

Where I need advice- my friend is still planning to move across the country for this guy even though she doesnt love him "yet" in her words. He is actively saying I love you daily and wants to move in together before the big move. In my opinion- she will figure out that his expectations are his dreams and he hasn't made room for hers. She has already admitted that she is faking it in the bedroom, that she doesnt love him "yet," and that she thinks he is a little clingy. In my husband's opinion- this is all one big red flag for a controlling man trying to take someone away from everything she knows. What do you think a good friend would do if you feel your friend is making a big mistake in dating?

tl:dr! my (28F) friend is planning to move across the country for a guy (33M) who has big plans for their future. He is "in love" and she thinks she can get there before the move in August.

Submitted June 30, 2019 at 12:03AM

My friend (28yF) met a guy online. A couple of weeks into dating, he shared that he is moving across the US for his job. By a month in to dating he set the expectation that she would be moving with him in August (12 weeks from starting to date) if all works out. He says he doesnt expect her to move without a ring. He has plans to have kids, live on the ocean, have separate bank accounts), etc. These conversations were all before I met the guy around week 4 of them dating. He invited her to travel to Europe for 2 weeks, 6weeks in to dating. She went. Her feedback to me was that they did some amazing things, but she was super up and down with him and did want more alone time than they had.Before meeting her BF (33yM), I learned that my friend was super hopeful that this could workout despite how crazy fast things would move. My friend said she would move for someone she loves, but she wasnt "there" yet. She shared with me all if his ideas for the future, which felt very much like he has it all planned out, but just needs a women to fill that part of his expectation (my opinion).When I met the BF, he asked me 2 total questions about myself even though I was introduced as her best friend. He rubbed me the wrong way in that he is super sarcastic, but I tried to look past the sarcasm for myself and just asked my friend what thought of his sarcasm, which she did say she takes personally often.A quick example- he jokingly said she looked pregnant in her morning t-shirt pajamas. She didnt feel comfortable asking him if he meant she looked fat or if it was in a cute way. She assumed he meant the former.Where I need advice- my friend is still planning to move across the country for this guy even though she doesnt love him "yet" in her words. He is actively saying I love you daily and wants to move in together before the big move. In my opinion- she will figure out that his expectations are his dreams and he hasn't made room for hers. She has already admitted that she is faking it in the bedroom, that she doesnt love him "yet," and that she thinks he is a little clingy. In my husband's opinion- this is all one big red flag for a controlling man trying to take someone away from everything she knows. What do you think a good friend would do if you feel your friend is making a big mistake in dating?tl:dr! my (28F) friend is planning to move across the country for a guy (33M) who has big plans for their future. He is "in love" and she thinks she can get there before the move in August.