Why do I want the girl I can’t get?

Before I tell the story, keep in mind that I had almost 0 dating experience before all this, so all these feelings are new to me.

In the beginning of October I (M22) met a girl, let’s call her ‚Z‘ (F19), and we went on 3 dates in 5 weeks, which wasn’t quite enough for my liking and she often told me that she is busy learning as she just started going to university and I believed her. 2 weeks after our 3rd date she left me on read after I asked for another date. I have to admit that this fucked me up and made me sad for like 2 weeks as she kinda was my first real dating experience, but I eventually got over it.

Fast forward to December, I met another girl, ‚S‘ (F21), and we hit off very good, going on 3 dates in 10 days (we are still dating) and everything about this girl is better than the first. (She lives way closer to me, is closer to my age and way more mature than the other girl, shows way more interest in me as a person and also in meeting up)

Now in the end of December, ‚Z’ asked me to meet up again. At first I was like hell no but I wanted to speak to her and what happened, so we met up 2 days ago.

She basically told me that she isn’t and wasn’t looking for a relationship right now but didn’t want to tell me this and had anxiety about it because it happened to her in the past.

Now why the hell do I still have feelings for Z and want her when I can’t even have a relationship with her and I have like the perfect potential gf in S?

Could it be that it’s caused by her being my first real date, real kiss and had my first making out session with her?



Submitted January 07, 2022 at 01:15AM

Before I tell the story, keep in mind that I had almost 0 dating experience before all this, so all these feelings are new to me.In the beginning of October I (M22) met a girl, let’s call her ‚Z‘ (F19), and we went on 3 dates in 5 weeks, which wasn’t quite enough for my liking and she often told me that she is busy learning as she just started going to university and I believed her. 2 weeks after our 3rd date she left me on read after I asked for another date. I have to admit that this fucked me up and made me sad for like 2 weeks as she kinda was my first real dating experience, but I eventually got over it.Fast forward to December, I met another girl, ‚S‘ (F21), and we hit off very good, going on 3 dates in 10 days (we are still dating) and everything about this girl is better than the first. (She lives way closer to me, is closer to my age and way more mature than the other girl, shows way more interest in me as a person and also in meeting up)Now in the end of December, ‚Z’ asked me to meet up again. At first I was like hell no but I wanted to speak to her and what happened, so we met up 2 days ago.She basically told me that she isn’t and wasn’t looking for a relationship right now but didn’t want to tell me this and had anxiety about it because it happened to her in the past.Now why the hell do I still have feelings for Z and want her when I can’t even have a relationship with her and I have like the perfect potential gf in S?Could it be that it’s caused by her being my first real date, real kiss and had my first making out session with her?
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