She used me but I’m the bad guy?

I’m (49m) have anxiety, am overly emotional, and require a lot of reassurance from who I’m seeing. My ex (42f) was unemotional and aloof but said she loved me, we were together for a year. Our relationship had troubles, mostly due to her being best friends with her ex. I was skeptical of their friendship but I never asked her to stop hanging out. I did ask that they stop sharing a bed and I didn’t like them traveling together but there were provisions made that I could accept. Her ex was manipulative and controlling but she could never see it because of the guilt she felt over how they ended. In the end, she broke our plans a few weeks in a row for her ex, the last time to take her to the hospital. I was sad and not supportive enough though we had just talked about breaking plans being huge to me, she said I wasn’t worth the trouble, and ended our relationship. She decided to break up with me that morning, but continued to use my vehicle, lie to me and lead me on all day. She then asked if I wanted her to fill my gas tank, knowing I’d never let her as I assumed things were fine between us. I took her to her friends house and she was silent the whole time, it was as I pulled in I brought up the tension and she admitted it was over. She was going to just get out, turn around and tell me off. I feel that’s pretty cold. I had an emotional reaction to a situation that we knew was my trigger point. Yes, I was an ass about it and should have been more supportive. She intentionally and deliberately deceived me to a gain. I don’t feel I can believe anything she said through our entire relationship now. How is it I’m the bad guy in this? I loved her with everything I had but it wasn’t enough.

Submitted November 29, 2021 at 11:53PM

I’m (49m) have anxiety, am overly emotional, and require a lot of reassurance from who I’m seeing. My ex (42f) was unemotional and aloof but said she loved me, we were together for a year. Our relationship had troubles, mostly due to her being best friends with her ex. I was skeptical of their friendship but I never asked her to stop hanging out. I did ask that they stop sharing a bed and I didn’t like them traveling together but there were provisions made that I could accept. Her ex was manipulative and controlling but she could never see it because of the guilt she felt over how they ended. In the end, she broke our plans a few weeks in a row for her ex, the last time to take her to the hospital. I was sad and not supportive enough though we had just talked about breaking plans being huge to me, she said I wasn’t worth the trouble, and ended our relationship. She decided to break up with me that morning, but continued to use my vehicle, lie to me and lead me on all day. She then asked if I wanted her to fill my gas tank, knowing I’d never let her as I assumed things were fine between us. I took her to her friends house and she was silent the whole time, it was as I pulled in I brought up the tension and she admitted it was over. She was going to just get out, turn around and tell me off. I feel that’s pretty cold. I had an emotional reaction to a situation that we knew was my trigger point. Yes, I was an ass about it and should have been more supportive. She intentionally and deliberately deceived me to a gain. I don’t feel I can believe anything she said through our entire relationship now. How is it I’m the bad guy in this? I loved her with everything I had but it wasn’t enough.