Seeking advice on my boyfriend’s porn habits…

My boyfriend (28m) and I (26F) have been together for 2 years and we live together. The relationship has always been very healthy and he treats me extremely well. There’s one thing I feel a little confused about though, and I’d appreciate some feedback on it. It’s a delicate subject and I’m not sure how to handle it.

Whenever he uses the shower, he’s in the bathroom for about 45 minutes. One time, he forgot to clear the history from our shared iPad, and I can tell from that what he’s doing in there. He looks at images on NSFW subs and I’m assuming, with a good amount of evidence to support my theory, that he gets turned on and then jerks off in the shower.

He does this about 6 times a week and I’m usually home. With that being said, we’re also having sex about 4 times a week, and our sex life is great.

I don’t believe that pornography or masturbation are bad. I am surprised by how frequently he’s doing it, but our sex life isn’t suffering, so I’m trying to remind myself that this isn’t necessarily a problem unless I make it one. I’m a little bit bummed that he’d pick masturbating in the shower over having sex with me, but I also understand the appeal of a quick and easy solo session. I also know from stories he told me that he did this as a teenager, so I’m assuming it’s just a habit at this point.

My main concern is that I don’t want him to feel like he doesn’t have any privacy, especially when we’re living together. Reddit, do you think I need to be concerned about this? Or should I let him have his “me time” as long as I’m still satisfied in the sheets?

I know a lot of the advice I’m going to get is to “just talk to him.” And that’s really good and solid advice, but I’m nervous to bring up something so personal and embarrassing, and I don’t want him to feel monitored all of the time, especially since we’re living together in a one-bedroom apartment.



Submitted November 30, 2021 at 12:57AM

My boyfriend (28m) and I (26F) have been together for 2 years and we live together. The relationship has always been very healthy and he treats me extremely well. There’s one thing I feel a little confused about though, and I’d appreciate some feedback on it. It’s a delicate subject and I’m not sure how to handle it.Whenever he uses the shower, he’s in the bathroom for about 45 minutes. One time, he forgot to clear the history from our shared iPad, and I can tell from that what he’s doing in there. He looks at images on NSFW subs and I’m assuming, with a good amount of evidence to support my theory, that he gets turned on and then jerks off in the shower.He does this about 6 times a week and I’m usually home. With that being said, we’re also having sex about 4 times a week, and our sex life is great.I don’t believe that pornography or masturbation are bad. I am surprised by how frequently he’s doing it, but our sex life isn’t suffering, so I’m trying to remind myself that this isn’t necessarily a problem unless I make it one. I’m a little bit bummed that he’d pick masturbating in the shower over having sex with me, but I also understand the appeal of a quick and easy solo session. I also know from stories he told me that he did this as a teenager, so I’m assuming it’s just a habit at this point.My main concern is that I don’t want him to feel like he doesn’t have any privacy, especially when we’re living together. Reddit, do you think I need to be concerned about this? Or should I let him have his “me time” as long as I’m still satisfied in the sheets?I know a lot of the advice I’m going to get is to “just talk to him.” And that’s really good and solid advice, but I’m nervous to bring up something so personal and embarrassing, and I don’t want him to feel monitored all of the time, especially since we’re living together in a one-bedroom apartment.
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