New GF is great, the sex not so much?

​

I (M44) have been with this woman (F43) for a few months and things are going really great. I like everything about this woman with one exception...she's selfish in bed. The amount of sex isn't the problem, we have sex most nights (or day occasionally) that we are together. The problem is that 99% of the time sex involves me pleasuring her and then PIV. She doesn't offer to reciprocate at all. When we first got together she just we down on me and once I finished inside her mouth and it was great...then not at all.

Last week I asked if there was any specific reason why she doesn't and she said "no". The next time we has sex she went down without hesitation but the next time had ask or she wasn't going to bother at all.

For my part, I make sure she finishes a couple times. At least once orally and she usually finishes again during PIV. she doesn't want to kiss me after I go down on her and prefers that I make love to her more so than dirty sex. Most of this isn't the issue but does give me some red flags.

I'm concerned that this could be a red flag that sex might just dry up after the relationship isn't new anymore; or at least my needs will stop being a factor at all and I can forget about her going down on me at all later. "sharing" things for her is pretty difficult, so just trying to talk to her isn't going to work or I would have done this already.

​

Help reddit, I really like/care about this woman but I'm really concerned I'm setting myself up for a

long term partner that doesn't care about my needs too.



Submitted November 08, 2021 at 11:21PM

​I (M44) have been with this woman (F43) for a few months and things are going really great. I like everything about this woman with one exception...she's selfish in bed. The amount of sex isn't the problem, we have sex most nights (or day occasionally) that we are together. The problem is that 99% of the time sex involves me pleasuring her and then PIV. She doesn't offer to reciprocate at all. When we first got together she just we down on me and once I finished inside her mouth and it was great...then not at all.Last week I asked if there was any specific reason why she doesn't and she said "no". The next time we has sex she went down without hesitation but the next time had ask or she wasn't going to bother at all.For my part, I make sure she finishes a couple times. At least once orally and she usually finishes again during PIV. she doesn't want to kiss me after I go down on her and prefers that I make love to her more so than dirty sex. Most of this isn't the issue but does give me some red flags.I'm concerned that this could be a red flag that sex might just dry up after the relationship isn't new anymore; or at least my needs will stop being a factor at all and I can forget about her going down on me at all later. "sharing" things for her is pretty difficult, so just trying to talk to her isn't going to work or I would have done this already.​Help reddit, I really like/care about this woman but I'm really concerned I'm setting myself up for along term partner that doesn't care about my needs too.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more