New GF is great, the sex not so much?

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I (M44) have been with this woman (F43) for a few months and things are going really great. I like everything about this woman with one exception...she's selfish in bed. The amount of sex isn't the problem, we have sex most nights (or day occasionally) that we are together. The problem is that 99% of the time sex involves me pleasuring her and then PIV. She doesn't offer to reciprocate at all. When we first got together she just we down on me and once I finished inside her mouth and it was great...then not at all.

Last week I asked if there was any specific reason why she doesn't and she said "no". The next time we has sex she went down without hesitation but the next time had ask or she wasn't going to bother at all.

For my part, I make sure she finishes a couple times. At least once orally and she usually finishes again during PIV. she doesn't want to kiss me after I go down on her and prefers that I make love to her more so than dirty sex. Most of this isn't the issue but does give me some red flags.

I'm concerned that this could be a red flag that sex might just dry up after the relationship isn't new anymore; or at least my needs will stop being a factor at all and I can forget about her going down on me at all later. "sharing" things for her is pretty difficult, so just trying to talk to her isn't going to work or I would have done this already.

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Help reddit, I really like/care about this woman but I'm really concerned I'm setting myself up for a

long term partner that doesn't care about my needs too.



Submitted November 08, 2021 at 11:21PM

​I (M44) have been with this woman (F43) for a few months and things are going really great. I like everything about this woman with one exception...she's selfish in bed. The amount of sex isn't the problem, we have sex most nights (or day occasionally) that we are together. The problem is that 99% of the time sex involves me pleasuring her and then PIV. She doesn't offer to reciprocate at all. When we first got together she just we down on me and once I finished inside her mouth and it was great...then not at all.Last week I asked if there was any specific reason why she doesn't and she said "no". The next time we has sex she went down without hesitation but the next time had ask or she wasn't going to bother at all.For my part, I make sure she finishes a couple times. At least once orally and she usually finishes again during PIV. she doesn't want to kiss me after I go down on her and prefers that I make love to her more so than dirty sex. Most of this isn't the issue but does give me some red flags.I'm concerned that this could be a red flag that sex might just dry up after the relationship isn't new anymore; or at least my needs will stop being a factor at all and I can forget about her going down on me at all later. "sharing" things for her is pretty difficult, so just trying to talk to her isn't going to work or I would have done this already.​Help reddit, I really like/care about this woman but I'm really concerned I'm setting myself up for along term partner that doesn't care about my needs too.
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