Why do women stereotype when it only harms them in the process?

I’m an Indian man who would love to have a fun and prolific dating life. I unfortunately discovered that due to many derogatory and mean stereotypes about my people, no one swipes on me in online dating apps.

My next approach was to try hobbies. And this has given me some success. Had 2 nice relationships that lasted a year. One broke up cos she moved cities and the other broke up cos she wanted to marry. Now again I’m flirting someone who shares the same hobby. Overall I’m content until I compare with my Caucasian flatmates.

Despite being Caucasian, they exhibit every single trope and stereotype associated with Indian men. They have not only slept with 100s of women but they have also hurt and insulted these women (emotionally). Some of the things they boast about make me cringe and I suspect some are borderline criminal. They also make fun of me for putting too much effort in hobbies in order to meet women. I’m moving out of the flat cos these guys are toxic.

I’m the “nice” guy who has coffee with the ladies my flatmates sleep with in the mornings. I often wonder why these nice women won’t give me the benefit of the doubt and give me a chance instead of being used and abused by men who they think conform to some unrepresentative stereotype. I have heard the preference argument many times but I feel that is counterproductive.

My question to women “Do you feel that your stereotypes about certain ethnicities tend to be counterproductive? Or are you comfortable enough with your biases and preferences that the potential upsides of being open-minded don’t matter?”

Submitted October 13, 2021 at 12:11AM

I’m an Indian man who would love to have a fun and prolific dating life. I unfortunately discovered that due to many derogatory and mean stereotypes about my people, no one swipes on me in online dating apps.My next approach was to try hobbies. And this has given me some success. Had 2 nice relationships that lasted a year. One broke up cos she moved cities and the other broke up cos she wanted to marry. Now again I’m flirting someone who shares the same hobby. Overall I’m content until I compare with my Caucasian flatmates.Despite being Caucasian, they exhibit every single trope and stereotype associated with Indian men. They have not only slept with 100s of women but they have also hurt and insulted these women (emotionally). Some of the things they boast about make me cringe and I suspect some are borderline criminal. They also make fun of me for putting too much effort in hobbies in order to meet women. I’m moving out of the flat cos these guys are toxic.I’m the “nice” guy who has coffee with the ladies my flatmates sleep with in the mornings. I often wonder why these nice women won’t give me the benefit of the doubt and give me a chance instead of being used and abused by men who they think conform to some unrepresentative stereotype. I have heard the preference argument many times but I feel that is counterproductive.My question to women “Do you feel that your stereotypes about certain ethnicities tend to be counterproductive? Or are you comfortable enough with your biases and preferences that the potential upsides of being open-minded don’t matter?”