Committed relationship but BF still comments on nudes

I (35F) am in a relationship with a truly lovely man (40M). We communicate very well about everything including having hard conversations and working forwards on our future.

Our sex life has grown and we are active and happy with this. We are open to exploring what each other wants and we have pushed boundaries in the past and have plans to keep pushing boundaries in the future. We are working on some issues with our different needs but that's not a bad thing because we talk about it.

We use each other's phone at different times for convenience to make calls or share interesting things or whatever. So from this I know that my bf looks at women online. I mean on reddit and IG and twitter. I already know he did and I am not uncomfortable with him looking online or in real life. What I don't understand is him making comments. He doesn't comment much and it's not really inappropriate in that he just says if he thinks that particular woman is hot. But I don't understand why.

I think looking is normal for men and women. But I think commenting is a step over the line. He will still think it but actually saying something to a stranger woman so she feels good seems like cheating on me. He comments favourably on how I look all the time so maybe it isn't cheating but him just being natural though.

I can talk to him so please don't just reply we need to communicate. I just really want to know if a man occasionally commenting on women's nudes is 'normal' to fellow Redditors experiences from men's side and womens.



Submitted October 20, 2021 at 12:41AM

I (35F) am in a relationship with a truly lovely man (40M). We communicate very well about everything including having hard conversations and working forwards on our future.Our sex life has grown and we are active and happy with this. We are open to exploring what each other wants and we have pushed boundaries in the past and have plans to keep pushing boundaries in the future. We are working on some issues with our different needs but that's not a bad thing because we talk about it.We use each other's phone at different times for convenience to make calls or share interesting things or whatever. So from this I know that my bf looks at women online. I mean on reddit and IG and twitter. I already know he did and I am not uncomfortable with him looking online or in real life. What I don't understand is him making comments. He doesn't comment much and it's not really inappropriate in that he just says if he thinks that particular woman is hot. But I don't understand why.I think looking is normal for men and women. But I think commenting is a step over the line. He will still think it but actually saying something to a stranger woman so she feels good seems like cheating on me. He comments favourably on how I look all the time so maybe it isn't cheating but him just being natural though.I can talk to him so please don't just reply we need to communicate. I just really want to know if a man occasionally commenting on women's nudes is 'normal' to fellow Redditors experiences from men's side and womens.
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