First date but bad reaction to intimacy??

So I went on a first date with this guy I knew from a long time ago. It was our first time hanging out in like in like several years so it was kind of like getting to know someone new. Anyways I suggest that we go on a hike for our date and he agrees. He also later mentions that his parents aren't home and he has to watch his dog for the weekend so I should come and meet his dog.

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Anyways the hike goes well and we actually get along pretty well. After we get back in my car, I asked what he wanted to do. He suggested going back to his house to watch a movie or something (since we talked about a lot of shows/movies we liked). I said that I probably wouldn't have time to watch a whole movie but I would be down to watch a show.

So we go into his movie theater room in his basement and he turns on a show. I lowkey start panicking at this moment because I realize everything I was afraid of is starting to happen. I knew it was suspicious that he mentioned his parents being away but I didn't think he would try to do something because he really doesn't seem like that kind of person (chill but nerdy/awkward). I'm sitting kind of far away from him on the couch because I didn't want to make it seem like I was trying to get close or anything. Then he says, "Would you mind if I got closer?" and Idk why I just kind of laughed and was like no I'm not really comfortable getting closer.

Huge side note. My ex boyfriend treated me really badly when we were dating. He used to cuddle with me but then start squishing the chubbiness on my tummy and it made me super uncomfortable and insecure. I already had really bad body image/insecurity issues before we dated. But he used to squish/squeeze me and be like "what is this?" about my tummy. He also pointed out my acne all the time, made upsetting remarks about my body and made me feel very disgusting about myself even more. He told my butt was flab and I should lose weight and all these things. He told me he was telling me for my own good but it really hurt my self esteem and body image. I slowly stopped wanting to get intimate with him after that and broke up with him soon after. He never understood that what he was saying/doing was wrong.

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Anyways, its been about 1.5 years since then and I am still so afraid of intimacy. After he asked to get closer he didn't try to do anything. But later he asked if he could kiss me (while we were still sitting on the couch and I got uncomfortable again). I told him no again and explained that I usually don't get intimate/ do anything like that unless I'm dating the person. But this entire time I was super nervous and lowkey started shaking and becoming scared. I don't know why I reacted like that. I think it made me uncomfortable and he was obviously trying to get close/touch/kiss/do something with me and I immediately felt like I should leave soon. I also didn't like that he suggested that we go back to his house and watch a movie while we were on our first date.

I don't know if I'm crazy but I like getting to know someone super well until I am comfortable with them in an intimate setting like that. Also, its not like I am a virgin. I had sex with previous partners but I either became very comfortable with them OR I already knew beforehand that we were going to hookup. For this, I had no idea it would turn out to be an intimate setting and was scared of that when he mentioned his parents being away.

After my last boyfriend, I decided that the next time I would date someone, I would take it super slow and get comfortable before even kissing or anything romantic/sexual etc. I thought it was weird this guy was already ready to do something like that with me.. Idk am I weird for thinking this??

Also something else that's weird is he asked if I would be down to hang out again and I said yes. He also asked if I found him attractive and I said yes to that too. But, isn't that a weird question to ask?? I think he might not be super experienced so that's why he was a little awkward but obviously if I'm hanging out with you then I think you're attractive but I thought people didn't really explicitly say that. wtf.

Anyways idk what to do!!!! Some of my friends are telling me men are trash and only want one thing!! And that he's a douchebag for trying to get something physical out of a first date. Others are saying its normal to hookup and do "netlfix and chill" for the first date?? I still find him attractive and its not like I wouldn't be down to do things like that in the future but this all just made me feel so weird. IDK WHAT TO DO PLS HELP.

Submitted July 25, 2021 at 11:57PM

So I went on a first date with this guy I knew from a long time ago. It was our first time hanging out in like in like several years so it was kind of like getting to know someone new. Anyways I suggest that we go on a hike for our date and he agrees. He also later mentions that his parents aren't home and he has to watch his dog for the weekend so I should come and meet his dog.​Anyways the hike goes well and we actually get along pretty well. After we get back in my car, I asked what he wanted to do. He suggested going back to his house to watch a movie or something (since we talked about a lot of shows/movies we liked). I said that I probably wouldn't have time to watch a whole movie but I would be down to watch a show.So we go into his movie theater room in his basement and he turns on a show. I lowkey start panicking at this moment because I realize everything I was afraid of is starting to happen. I knew it was suspicious that he mentioned his parents being away but I didn't think he would try to do something because he really doesn't seem like that kind of person (chill but nerdy/awkward). I'm sitting kind of far away from him on the couch because I didn't want to make it seem like I was trying to get close or anything. Then he says, "Would you mind if I got closer?" and Idk why I just kind of laughed and was like no I'm not really comfortable getting closer.Huge side note. My ex boyfriend treated me really badly when we were dating. He used to cuddle with me but then start squishing the chubbiness on my tummy and it made me super uncomfortable and insecure. I already had really bad body image/insecurity issues before we dated. But he used to squish/squeeze me and be like "what is this?" about my tummy. He also pointed out my acne all the time, made upsetting remarks about my body and made me feel very disgusting about myself even more. He told my butt was flab and I should lose weight and all these things. He told me he was telling me for my own good but it really hurt my self esteem and body image. I slowly stopped wanting to get intimate with him after that and broke up with him soon after. He never understood that what he was saying/doing was wrong.​Anyways, its been about 1.5 years since then and I am still so afraid of intimacy. After he asked to get closer he didn't try to do anything. But later he asked if he could kiss me (while we were still sitting on the couch and I got uncomfortable again). I told him no again and explained that I usually don't get intimate/ do anything like that unless I'm dating the person. But this entire time I was super nervous and lowkey started shaking and becoming scared. I don't know why I reacted like that. I think it made me uncomfortable and he was obviously trying to get close/touch/kiss/do something with me and I immediately felt like I should leave soon. I also didn't like that he suggested that we go back to his house and watch a movie while we were on our first date.I don't know if I'm crazy but I like getting to know someone super well until I am comfortable with them in an intimate setting like that. Also, its not like I am a virgin. I had sex with previous partners but I either became very comfortable with them OR I already knew beforehand that we were going to hookup. For this, I had no idea it would turn out to be an intimate setting and was scared of that when he mentioned his parents being away.After my last boyfriend, I decided that the next time I would date someone, I would take it super slow and get comfortable before even kissing or anything romantic/sexual etc. I thought it was weird this guy was already ready to do something like that with me.. Idk am I weird for thinking this??Also something else that's weird is he asked if I would be down to hang out again and I said yes. He also asked if I found him attractive and I said yes to that too. But, isn't that a weird question to ask?? I think he might not be super experienced so that's why he was a little awkward but obviously if I'm hanging out with you then I think you're attractive but I thought people didn't really explicitly say that. wtf.Anyways idk what to do!!!! Some of my friends are telling me men are trash and only want one thing!! And that he's a douchebag for trying to get something physical out of a first date. Others are saying its normal to hookup and do "netlfix and chill" for the first date?? I still find him attractive and its not like I wouldn't be down to do things like that in the future but this all just made me feel so weird. IDK WHAT TO DO PLS HELP.