21M confused by action of girl i’ve been seeing.

Hey all.

This is my first time posting on Reddit. Hopefully I do this right. lol. But I’m dealing with this situation and perhaps someone here can shed some light for me as I’m somewhat confused.

So there was this girl I met, we started seeing each other as friends maybe 4 months ago. We became good friends quite quickly.

After the first couple of times we were seeing each other in groups of people we started doing things alone. We were seeing each other as friends, getting lunch just hanging, etc. This was happening 1-2x a week for a month or two.

We became really close friends over this period, we would text all day every day, invite each other any time we went out, confide and open up to each other etc. She was telling me about how I was the only person she was actually seeing actively and only person she liked to spend time with etc.

I started to become romantically interested so I decided to make a move - so we hooked up. After that I continued to text her every day because I feared if I didn’t she would think I’m using her.

We saw each other a few times after that but definitely less frequently. We hooked up a couple of times. I asked her what the situation was not in the interest of trying to progress a relationship but because I was worried she’d felt uncomfortable and that was the last thing I wanted.

She assured me that nothing had changed, and she wanted to keep seeing me but that she had just gotten out of a relationship so she wanted to stay single for a bit.

I think she just got scared or I smothered her, I wasn’t going to act like a fuck boy because that’s not me but I also didn’t want to be smothering. I don’t feel I changed how I acted at all from when we were friends to when we were hooking up, except a bit of complimenting, flirting and gestures.

After this conversation I feel she went even more cold on me. If I ask her why she just says it hasn’t + excuses but I get the feeling it’s different.

I’m not really sure what to think or do at this point, so I just haven’t been texting her or reaching out. I really like her romantically but also don’t want to lose a friend.

I feel the best course is just to give her space here, but I also got super attached. Happy to hear everyone’s thoughts …. 💖.

Submitted July 26, 2021 at 12:06AM

Hey all.This is my first time posting on Reddit. Hopefully I do this right. lol. But I’m dealing with this situation and perhaps someone here can shed some light for me as I’m somewhat confused.So there was this girl I met, we started seeing each other as friends maybe 4 months ago. We became good friends quite quickly.After the first couple of times we were seeing each other in groups of people we started doing things alone. We were seeing each other as friends, getting lunch just hanging, etc. This was happening 1-2x a week for a month or two.We became really close friends over this period, we would text all day every day, invite each other any time we went out, confide and open up to each other etc. She was telling me about how I was the only person she was actually seeing actively and only person she liked to spend time with etc.I started to become romantically interested so I decided to make a move - so we hooked up. After that I continued to text her every day because I feared if I didn’t she would think I’m using her.We saw each other a few times after that but definitely less frequently. We hooked up a couple of times. I asked her what the situation was not in the interest of trying to progress a relationship but because I was worried she’d felt uncomfortable and that was the last thing I wanted.She assured me that nothing had changed, and she wanted to keep seeing me but that she had just gotten out of a relationship so she wanted to stay single for a bit.I think she just got scared or I smothered her, I wasn’t going to act like a fuck boy because that’s not me but I also didn’t want to be smothering. I don’t feel I changed how I acted at all from when we were friends to when we were hooking up, except a bit of complimenting, flirting and gestures.After this conversation I feel she went even more cold on me. If I ask her why she just says it hasn’t + excuses but I get the feeling it’s different.I’m not really sure what to think or do at this point, so I just haven’t been texting her or reaching out. I really like her romantically but also don’t want to lose a friend.I feel the best course is just to give her space here, but I also got super attached. Happy to hear everyone’s thoughts …. 💖.