/u/TheChronologer1 on help. is it possible my boyfriend is asexual but intensely romantic?

He could be sex-repulsed, though he doesn't have to be. That, too, is a spectrum. I'm sex-repulsed, so I can't stand sex scenes and porn and explicit descriptions of erotic things, but there's also sex-averse, which is that they do not want to have sex themselves, though they aren't repulsed by that kind of stuff, sex-neutral, which is that they don't care about sex one way or another, and sex-favorable, which means they like and/or want sex. Allos (allosexuals, non-aces) can also be any of these things.

Sexual attraction just has to do with sex, so sexual attraction means desiring to be sexual with or in a sexual relationship with specific people. Wanting that kind of relationship in general is not sexual attraction, unless they feel that for specific people.

Romantic attraction is the same description as sexual attraction except you replace "sexual" with "romantic".

Alterous attraction is more than platonic (just being friends) but not romantic, but it is significant for a relationship, which we tend to call QPRs (queer-platonic relationships) for some reason.

Aesthetic attraction is liking someone for how they look, which includes the face and body.

Sensual attraction is liking someone for how it feels to be close to them or in contact with them, physically (this would be stuff like kissing, hugging, cuddling, holding hands, etc.).

So he seems to still feel romantic attraction, so he feels that. Alloromantics (and allosexuals, but we're talking about him being ace, so) use aesthetic and sensual attraction to basically "feed" romantic (and sexual) attraction, so it tends not to get separated from that type of attraction like it does for me.

When I say he's still attracted to you, I mean in any of the ways above, except sexual, for obvious reasons.

July 24, 2020 at 11:37PM