Not sure what to do after first date

I (25F) am not new to dating. But I don't do well single, mainly because I don't get the whole "talking" phase. If I want to sleep with someone, I don't butter them up. I'm upfront about my intentions. I even let any guy I'm interested know that he doesn't need to bother with buttering me up or making fake promises. I don't get the point.

So here's what happened. I met a guy(28M) on a dating app. Basically everything about this guy is my dream man. Even down to his hobbies and quirks, which I've just recently found out. He was more interested than me for the first 3 weeks. Then I started to actually give him a chance and the more we talked the more I started to like him. He tells me constantly he isn't interested in just sex. I even told him that it's okay if he is, because I'm use to that and I've basically just accepted that about life when it comes to men. We finally met a couple days ago. And yes had sex. But also found out how much we have in common. Like it's weird how much we have in common. We kept saying the same thing at the same time, his cousin (who I literally just met) kept cracking up about it. We both told each other how we had a great time and hinted towards seeing each other again in the future. Well, it's been 3 days since we met up and he barely texts me back. I get he works, I'm not clingy or need attention all day and night. But having a conversation that lasts more than 6 texts would be nice.

I'm pretty mad at myself for starting to develop feelings for this man when I told myself I wouldn't catch feelings. But he made it seem like he was actually interested. He told me he knew I was different and that's why he didn't give up when I didn't appear to be as interested, he knew he wanted to meet me and knew it would be worth the wait. He had me meet his brother AND cousin the same day I met him, you don't just do that for a one night stand...right? I'm hesitant to message him because I don't want to appear clingy. Is it just a guy thing to not message alot for 3+ days? I've heard that is an actual thing and I've heard my guy friends tell their friends to not text a girl after the first date for a bit.

He seemed incredibly interested in me, but now I'm really doubting myself. When I told him I wasn't sure about having sex on the first date, he told me how he had sex with his ex of 5 years on their first date and he doesn't think less of a woman for having sex on the first date. We talked for hours and hours about that and more before our date. But now I'm wondering if he was literally just lying about everything. He seemed sincere. But maybe I'm just stupid.

Should I just be patient? Or should I make a move in the next couple of days and not wait for him? Or is this sounding like a lost cause?

Submitted May 13, 2020 at 12:05AM

I (25F) am not new to dating. But I don't do well single, mainly because I don't get the whole "talking" phase. If I want to sleep with someone, I don't butter them up. I'm upfront about my intentions. I even let any guy I'm interested know that he doesn't need to bother with buttering me up or making fake promises. I don't get the point.So here's what happened. I met a guy(28M) on a dating app. Basically everything about this guy is my dream man. Even down to his hobbies and quirks, which I've just recently found out. He was more interested than me for the first 3 weeks. Then I started to actually give him a chance and the more we talked the more I started to like him. He tells me constantly he isn't interested in just sex. I even told him that it's okay if he is, because I'm use to that and I've basically just accepted that about life when it comes to men. We finally met a couple days ago. And yes had sex. But also found out how much we have in common. Like it's weird how much we have in common. We kept saying the same thing at the same time, his cousin (who I literally just met) kept cracking up about it. We both told each other how we had a great time and hinted towards seeing each other again in the future. Well, it's been 3 days since we met up and he barely texts me back. I get he works, I'm not clingy or need attention all day and night. But having a conversation that lasts more than 6 texts would be nice.I'm pretty mad at myself for starting to develop feelings for this man when I told myself I wouldn't catch feelings. But he made it seem like he was actually interested. He told me he knew I was different and that's why he didn't give up when I didn't appear to be as interested, he knew he wanted to meet me and knew it would be worth the wait. He had me meet his brother AND cousin the same day I met him, you don't just do that for a one night stand...right? I'm hesitant to message him because I don't want to appear clingy. Is it just a guy thing to not message alot for 3+ days? I've heard that is an actual thing and I've heard my guy friends tell their friends to not text a girl after the first date for a bit.He seemed incredibly interested in me, but now I'm really doubting myself. When I told him I wasn't sure about having sex on the first date, he told me how he had sex with his ex of 5 years on their first date and he doesn't think less of a woman for having sex on the first date. We talked for hours and hours about that and more before our date. But now I'm wondering if he was literally just lying about everything. He seemed sincere. But maybe I'm just stupid.Should I just be patient? Or should I make a move in the next couple of days and not wait for him? Or is this sounding like a lost cause?