I don't want kids and it's rough when it comes to dating

So I (22F) have been single for a while now. My boyfriend of three years broke up with me about a year ago and I decided to try Tinder and Bumble. I went on a couple dates before I met this guy (24M) who's amazing. A couple months later we're talking about his buddy's kids and he asks my opinion about children. I mention that I have no desire to have kids because I don't think I have a maternal instinct, I want to travel, and I want to go further in my academic career (my ultimate goal is a PhD). After that he got really distant and broke it off. About a month later (because I forgot to delete him off Snapchat), he posted a lovey dovey picture with his "friend" who's a mother of four. I felt like crap for telling him I didn't want kids. Since then, I took my friends' advice and have been politely upfront about not wanting kids when asked about it. I was messaging someone a while back and they stopped messaging me after asking me if I wanted kids and I politely said "no". Any advice? Am I selfish for not wanting kids?



Submitted May 10, 2020 at 11:45PM

So I (22F) have been single for a while now. My boyfriend of three years broke up with me about a year ago and I decided to try Tinder and Bumble. I went on a couple dates before I met this guy (24M) who's amazing. A couple months later we're talking about his buddy's kids and he asks my opinion about children. I mention that I have no desire to have kids because I don't think I have a maternal instinct, I want to travel, and I want to go further in my academic career (my ultimate goal is a PhD). After that he got really distant and broke it off. About a month later (because I forgot to delete him off Snapchat), he posted a lovey dovey picture with his "friend" who's a mother of four. I felt like crap for telling him I didn't want kids. Since then, I took my friends' advice and have been politely upfront about not wanting kids when asked about it. I was messaging someone a while back and they stopped messaging me after asking me if I wanted kids and I politely said "no". Any advice? Am I selfish for not wanting kids?
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