After 9 years of relationships with various angry men, I [F28] am starting to feel like the common denominator

I honestly dont even know if the title of this is correct.

Over the past nine years I have been in relationships with three men who I have always considered to be angry.

One got so mad at me for not doing the dishes he shattered my iPhone. Another got drunk and called me a bitch and accused me of trying to sleep with people at the bar and ripped my blouse trying to grab me before some men tackled him. The third and my current bf called me a fucking psycho bitch for not knowing he wanted me to clean the apartment while he did dishes.

I feel like it’s been nine years of being told I’m a bitch, untrustworthy, and occasionally unattractive. I’m starting to really wonder if the problem is me or the men that I’m with?

My friends say I’m losing touch with the reality of what’s going on but I feel like I’m the common denominator in all of these situations. I’m getting old and want to take a hard look at myself and improve.

So I guess I want to know- how did you realize that you were the toxic one in a relationship? How did you realize your partner was toxic? What did you change to improve yourself and start attracting kinder people?

TLDR: After nine years of angry relationships I’m beginning to wonder if it’s them or me. How do you identify toxic behaviors within yourself?



Submitted May 04, 2020 at 12:11AM

I honestly dont even know if the title of this is correct.Over the past nine years I have been in relationships with three men who I have always considered to be angry.One got so mad at me for not doing the dishes he shattered my iPhone. Another got drunk and called me a bitch and accused me of trying to sleep with people at the bar and ripped my blouse trying to grab me before some men tackled him. The third and my current bf called me a fucking psycho bitch for not knowing he wanted me to clean the apartment while he did dishes.I feel like it’s been nine years of being told I’m a bitch, untrustworthy, and occasionally unattractive. I’m starting to really wonder if the problem is me or the men that I’m with?My friends say I’m losing touch with the reality of what’s going on but I feel like I’m the common denominator in all of these situations. I’m getting old and want to take a hard look at myself and improve.So I guess I want to know- how did you realize that you were the toxic one in a relationship? How did you realize your partner was toxic? What did you change to improve yourself and start attracting kinder people?TLDR: After nine years of angry relationships I’m beginning to wonder if it’s them or me. How do you identify toxic behaviors within yourself?
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