In a self-inflicted drought

TLDR: is it fair for a husband to watch porn when his wife withholds physical affection after a legitimate screw-up on the husband's part?

OK. So last August, I went to my best friends bachelor party, got black-out drunk, and spent $800 at the strip club. Prior to this, my wife had said she was ok with my going to the strip club. The next day, it was the amount that I had spent that she took issue with. That was August of 2019. Since then, she has withheld all physical affection. I gave up on even getting goodnight kisses around valentines day of this year.

On multiple occasions, we have talked about our love language. Her love language is acts of service. Any time we fight/argue, I do dishes, mop the floors, clean windows, etc., to show that even though I'm upset, I love her. My love language is physical affection. It doesn't have to be sex, I just like being held or kissed. Ever since that bachelor party night, she has 100% stopped any physical contact with me unless I INITIATE a goodnight kiss.

That means as of today , 4/18/2020, we haven't had ANY marital contact since August of 2019. In the past, she had taken issue with my viewing of pornography. But I feel like at this point, of she won't give me ANY physical intimacy, there's nothing wrong with my finding it online as long as it is completely artificial (like from porn) vs. an actual person. I just want to know if it's fair for me to unashamedly watch porn in my situation



Submitted April 18, 2020 at 11:54PM

TLDR: is it fair for a husband to watch porn when his wife withholds physical affection after a legitimate screw-up on the husband's part?OK. So last August, I went to my best friends bachelor party, got black-out drunk, and spent $800 at the strip club. Prior to this, my wife had said she was ok with my going to the strip club. The next day, it was the amount that I had spent that she took issue with. That was August of 2019. Since then, she has withheld all physical affection. I gave up on even getting goodnight kisses around valentines day of this year.On multiple occasions, we have talked about our love language. Her love language is acts of service. Any time we fight/argue, I do dishes, mop the floors, clean windows, etc., to show that even though I'm upset, I love her. My love language is physical affection. It doesn't have to be sex, I just like being held or kissed. Ever since that bachelor party night, she has 100% stopped any physical contact with me unless I INITIATE a goodnight kiss.That means as of today , 4/18/2020, we haven't had ANY marital contact since August of 2019. In the past, she had taken issue with my viewing of pornography. But I feel like at this point, of she won't give me ANY physical intimacy, there's nothing wrong with my finding it online as long as it is completely artificial (like from porn) vs. an actual person. I just want to know if it's fair for me to unashamedly watch porn in my situation
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