Blah... I’m beginning to now see why maybe he [35/M] never had a real relationship... [30/F]

I met him 6 months ago via Hinge. We have had our fair share of issues. Many of which I feel are brought on by his lack of experience and maybe lack of common sense when it comes to dating and relationships. He has never been in any real relationships. He told me he had exes but later then said they weren’t really anything serious. He is also a virgin. I didn’t really see all this as red flags but just something that made me wonder. He’s an average looking guy... tall. He said he’s picky but I feel that that was maybe just a cover he tells people. Who knows

Anyways, despite all this we did have a lot of chemistry in person and there was something about him that made me very happy. I would smile constantly around him and I felt his presence made me feel happy, light and in love. So when issues would arise I tried to remind myself about how I have felt around him but I’m beginning to wonder if this is something I should even be entertaining...

He lives at home with both of his parents. He has a decent paying job but he’s never been on his own- his older brother moved out when he was 24. I was really curious so I asked him if he helps contribute to anything in his house or pays rent... he does not. He says he cooks and sometimes buys groceries. I asked him what happens in the event of emergency home repairs and things like that... he obviously doesn’t have to fork out any money... which just further shows his lack of any real life experiences or any responsibility. He’s a 35 year old man... I am finding this incredibly unattractive now.

Our living situations are very different. My mother and I live together in a house but I am carrying everything financially. Unfortunately, she had a medical diagnosis ... so while I wish my living situation was different this is my reality right now and I will always be there for my mom. Since everything financially really falls on my shoulders I’ve had a lot of recent emergency home repairs that have drained my savings dry. I tried talking about some of this to him but he obviously cannot relate and has never had any worries like this. He is also really frugal... cheap for someone who is not scrounging to pay any type of real bills. He gets to save or do whatever with all his money and at times it makes me really dislike him and pull away.

The last times I saw him he came over and we just ordered Uber eats. Both times I paid... he said he would pay or get money out at the bank but he never did. The last time I saw him was after I had a huge plumbing repair job and he knew how expensive it was and how much stress I was under. He said he was going to cook something and bring it... that didn’t happen and we ended up ordering Uber eats and I ended up paying again. Yuck

I know I have harped on a lot of his bad qualities without addressing really anything good about him but he really is feeling like a waste of time now. He sometimes says he’s a “catch”... either he’s delusional or I don’t know... I can see why no one has dated him

Do I just flat out say this to him? It’s like I don’t even have the energy anymore to address my concerns to this guy. He is just so clueless when it comes to relationships

Submitted April 08, 2020 at 11:58PM

I met him 6 months ago via Hinge. We have had our fair share of issues. Many of which I feel are brought on by his lack of experience and maybe lack of common sense when it comes to dating and relationships. He has never been in any real relationships. He told me he had exes but later then said they weren’t really anything serious. He is also a virgin. I didn’t really see all this as red flags but just something that made me wonder. He’s an average looking guy... tall. He said he’s picky but I feel that that was maybe just a cover he tells people. Who knowsAnyways, despite all this we did have a lot of chemistry in person and there was something about him that made me very happy. I would smile constantly around him and I felt his presence made me feel happy, light and in love. So when issues would arise I tried to remind myself about how I have felt around him but I’m beginning to wonder if this is something I should even be entertaining...He lives at home with both of his parents. He has a decent paying job but he’s never been on his own- his older brother moved out when he was 24. I was really curious so I asked him if he helps contribute to anything in his house or pays rent... he does not. He says he cooks and sometimes buys groceries. I asked him what happens in the event of emergency home repairs and things like that... he obviously doesn’t have to fork out any money... which just further shows his lack of any real life experiences or any responsibility. He’s a 35 year old man... I am finding this incredibly unattractive now.Our living situations are very different. My mother and I live together in a house but I am carrying everything financially. Unfortunately, she had a medical diagnosis ... so while I wish my living situation was different this is my reality right now and I will always be there for my mom. Since everything financially really falls on my shoulders I’ve had a lot of recent emergency home repairs that have drained my savings dry. I tried talking about some of this to him but he obviously cannot relate and has never had any worries like this. He is also really frugal... cheap for someone who is not scrounging to pay any type of real bills. He gets to save or do whatever with all his money and at times it makes me really dislike him and pull away.The last times I saw him he came over and we just ordered Uber eats. Both times I paid... he said he would pay or get money out at the bank but he never did. The last time I saw him was after I had a huge plumbing repair job and he knew how expensive it was and how much stress I was under. He said he was going to cook something and bring it... that didn’t happen and we ended up ordering Uber eats and I ended up paying again. YuckI know I have harped on a lot of his bad qualities without addressing really anything good about him but he really is feeling like a waste of time now. He sometimes says he’s a “catch”... either he’s delusional or I don’t know... I can see why no one has dated himDo I just flat out say this to him? It’s like I don’t even have the energy anymore to address my concerns to this guy. He is just so clueless when it comes to relationships