(24F) Been talking to him (28M) all quarantine -- but unsure about the appropriate app behavior?

Hi all :) I'll preface with this: I'm extremely prone to overthinking every facet of a situation, and the one I'm going to detail below is no different...

I'm a single 24F who has been on dating apps (mostly Hinge, as I've met a handful of guys from there, but have a Bumble profile as well) for the past 18 or so months. I seem to go through the terrible yet common dance of going on a few (anywhere from 1 to 5) dates with a guy, either we do or don't get along, and then...that's it. Of the three guys I've seen for extended periods of time over the last 18 months (all at different times, no overlapping), two out of three of them said they weren't looking for a relationship, etc. etc.; one of which, J, (24M) ended things at the start of this month after 3 dates pre-quarantine. Naturally, I am looking for a monogamous relationship in my dating endeavors.

Rewind back to December, and I matched with a guy, who I'll call B, on Hinge (28M). We texted a bit here and there but, for a number of reasons, I didn't want to meet up and we stopped texting. Fast forward to quarantine, I snapchat him out of the blue and we get to talking again (think -- mid to late March?). It's escalated to the point where we text everyday and FaceTime a couple of times a week, which I've enjoyed and I think he has, too. We've agreed to go out on a date once our state's lockdown order has been lifted.

Here's where it gets tricky and where I'm in need of advice. He was aware of my few dates with the other guy, J, when we started talking, and I also later told him that J didn't think he and I were a good fit. I deleted my Hinge app shortly after being rejected by J out of frustration and sadness. Given my tendency to overthink, though, I've psyched myself out about B a few times in quarantine, telling myself that we'll probably meet and, for the same reasons my past dates have rejected me, he will, too; so what's the point?

B asked me about two weeks ago on FaceTime if I had deleted my Hinge profile because he was looking to check it out (in his prior matches), and I had told him that I didn't want to be on it anymore and deleted it. However, sometime yesterday, I realized out of boredom, that while I no longer have Hinge (again -- the only app I've actively talked to matches on), I do still have a Bumble account. I went on the app and, to further solidify how infrequently I used this app compared to Hinge, my age was from 2 years ago and I was still listed as a student, despite graduating last spring. I updated my info, matched with a few guys, and dropped the "Hi! How's it going?" Only to come across B's profile today. I swiped right and we matched.

I'm keenly aware that I am the ass in this situation. I told him I had deleted Hinge -- so, by default, Bumble "should have" fallen under that umbrella, as well, right? We've joked about talking to other people in quarantine (which we both said we aren't...I think? His wording was open to interpretation), but secretly, after seeing J following a buttload of beautiful new women on Instagram weekly, my insecurities and fears are unprecedentedly through the roof. I sent B an "Oh heyyy [laughing emoji]" on Bumble, but he hasn't responded yet (despite us already texting earlier today).

I talked it through a friend of mine on FaceTime and she thinks I shouldn't bring it up unless he does, but I want to. While I wasn't on any apps when I told him I had deleted it, I did go back on my word as soon as I updated my profile and began engaging in swipes. Based on our interactions thus far, I find him to be funny, sweet, and likable, and I am interested in seeing if this has potential after quarantine by going out on a date with him; I'm not sure if I'm overthinking this, since clearly he's still on (at least) Bumble, too. I would be more than happy to delete Bumble, too, if it was a dealbreaker for him and, hopefully, mutual. Do I address the elephant in the room and explain the Bumble activity? Is it not that big of a deal because we haven't even met? Or have I botched his trust in me (which would mean talking further is absolutely pointless)? Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated.

Submitted April 27, 2020 at 11:37PM

Hi all :) I'll preface with this: I'm extremely prone to overthinking every facet of a situation, and the one I'm going to detail below is no different...I'm a single 24F who has been on dating apps (mostly Hinge, as I've met a handful of guys from there, but have a Bumble profile as well) for the past 18 or so months. I seem to go through the terrible yet common dance of going on a few (anywhere from 1 to 5) dates with a guy, either we do or don't get along, and then...that's it. Of the three guys I've seen for extended periods of time over the last 18 months (all at different times, no overlapping), two out of three of them said they weren't looking for a relationship, etc. etc.; one of which, J, (24M) ended things at the start of this month after 3 dates pre-quarantine. Naturally, I am looking for a monogamous relationship in my dating endeavors.Rewind back to December, and I matched with a guy, who I'll call B, on Hinge (28M). We texted a bit here and there but, for a number of reasons, I didn't want to meet up and we stopped texting. Fast forward to quarantine, I snapchat him out of the blue and we get to talking again (think -- mid to late March?). It's escalated to the point where we text everyday and FaceTime a couple of times a week, which I've enjoyed and I think he has, too. We've agreed to go out on a date once our state's lockdown order has been lifted.Here's where it gets tricky and where I'm in need of advice. He was aware of my few dates with the other guy, J, when we started talking, and I also later told him that J didn't think he and I were a good fit. I deleted my Hinge app shortly after being rejected by J out of frustration and sadness. Given my tendency to overthink, though, I've psyched myself out about B a few times in quarantine, telling myself that we'll probably meet and, for the same reasons my past dates have rejected me, he will, too; so what's the point?B asked me about two weeks ago on FaceTime if I had deleted my Hinge profile because he was looking to check it out (in his prior matches), and I had told him that I didn't want to be on it anymore and deleted it. However, sometime yesterday, I realized out of boredom, that while I no longer have Hinge (again -- the only app I've actively talked to matches on), I do still have a Bumble account. I went on the app and, to further solidify how infrequently I used this app compared to Hinge, my age was from 2 years ago and I was still listed as a student, despite graduating last spring. I updated my info, matched with a few guys, and dropped the "Hi! How's it going?" Only to come across B's profile today. I swiped right and we matched.I'm keenly aware that I am the ass in this situation. I told him I had deleted Hinge -- so, by default, Bumble "should have" fallen under that umbrella, as well, right? We've joked about talking to other people in quarantine (which we both said we aren't...I think? His wording was open to interpretation), but secretly, after seeing J following a buttload of beautiful new women on Instagram weekly, my insecurities and fears are unprecedentedly through the roof. I sent B an "Oh heyyy [laughing emoji]" on Bumble, but he hasn't responded yet (despite us already texting earlier today).I talked it through a friend of mine on FaceTime and she thinks I shouldn't bring it up unless he does, but I want to. While I wasn't on any apps when I told him I had deleted it, I did go back on my word as soon as I updated my profile and began engaging in swipes. Based on our interactions thus far, I find him to be funny, sweet, and likable, and I am interested in seeing if this has potential after quarantine by going out on a date with him; I'm not sure if I'm overthinking this, since clearly he's still on (at least) Bumble, too. I would be more than happy to delete Bumble, too, if it was a dealbreaker for him and, hopefully, mutual. Do I address the elephant in the room and explain the Bumble activity? Is it not that big of a deal because we haven't even met? Or have I botched his trust in me (which would mean talking further is absolutely pointless)? Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated.