What is the difference between the relationship of your few very close friends and your lover? What do you expect from each? Can yin and yang with the same values have a long lasting relationship?

1. I mean you obviously spend more time with your lover than close friends, but that doesn't mean you would spend more time with your lover, unless he/she wants to. The only reason you share stuff and live together is because you have such an emotional bond, understanding, trust and respect for each other, your differences, your similarities, your hardships, whatever you see in them....and so on, it can be anything basically. Love develops over time, you could love anyone who has a talent that makes them cool and knows how to manage their weaknesses. That's all one needs to posess, right? (Plus chemistry, but I rarely have that, so I personally don't care. We have imaginations for a reason.) Then if the relationship has gone stale, you don't need an other person, you need to invest in your existing relationship to bring the excitement back. So why are they different from your close friends?

2. Do they have to be? Different? I mean you clearly don't want to bounce around too much between interesting people, you will eventually settle down, when you feel old enough to have a family or when you get bored of people in general(cuz research shows, that as we grow, we get more introverted, I wonder why or why are we extroverted in the first place...), but why don't we all experiment with other people we admire? Why are we selfish if we do that? Halsey did it with Yungblud, bless his heart, but they somehow both agreed to it. So does Yungblud have a heart from butter or did they lose the spark and logically moved on without drama, because they have nothing to lose and they are both happy and confident, that they will find someone else? Because EVERYONE falls out of love(with or without chemistry) and why not move on, discover more opportunities, right? Why isn't this part of the basic culture??? Why is divorce a bad thing? Is everyone insecure like me and they want to learn and grow their personality with someone just as insecure as them? I read that 80% of people in relationships are settling out of scarcity. Statistics back this up. Not because they love the person, but bcs they are afraid to be alone. And before I continue, there is an other psychological fact, that people care more about being like others, than being right. So be careful as you continue to read this, stay rational! Our goal here is to have the most fullfilling life and not to be fake. The majority of ppl is not why we are here for, what about the other 20%? How do they keep themselves from getting together with an other unexplored person, until they have time? Tho some of that 20% settles because they are impatient, irresponsible or have no other choice than settling. So even less forever love. They both must be really fun personalities for sure if they get along so well. Everyone is accomodating and empathietic if they are mature enough, but the core ingredient is to be fun. To see the fun in the same activities. Well that's not hard, who is not adventorous, there is something in everything? So why do people break up or love someone more than other dates?

3. We usually end up with people very similar to us. But isn't that too easy? Isn't that like falling in love with yourself, staying in your comfort zone? What about yin and yang? Can't that be even more fun? Any success stories? Are we attracted to challenge? Is it all about continously challenging each other that makes relationships last? Then what the f is so attractive about me... freaking out all the time, right before making a move. Sometimes I hate myself seriously, anxiety is destroying me, what else do I have to do, why can't I slow down time, why do people say I'm impatient with myself, if they can't be patient with me, because I can't even do the smallest, because something always happens. Why am I so forgetful about everything. My worth, my motives, my goals. I guess I have to write everything down to remind myself. Right now I'm thinking, how could I ever have been confident? Is it me thinking this or my mental illness. Is it just a brain fog? Well good to know, that doesn't change the fact that it keeps coming back, I'm sorry I give up, brain fog doesn't let me think anymore, the hard truth is, that I'm miserable right now and the only solution is time. It's hard to accept it. I feel like Nightmare-Neffex. But I don't want to throw these toughts in the litter, like the rest, because I didn't come to any conclusion. Maybe you can finish it for me. Maybe I'm just annoyed that I can't fit every situation into my theoretical model of the universe. And even the best guesses are not always correct, life is full of unforeseen variables. Probably even irrational forces. Who knows. But I have to knowwww. Everything. How am I supposed to continue duties, live a life if I don't know why I do things? What makes you love yours? Love just doesn't make sense I guess. But is that so? I just want to make sense and not mess up, but I don't know anything. I always think I know something, but turns out I tought I'm self-sufficing, because I know what I want, but I often don't know what to think. It takes a lot of decision-making and doing to be self-sufficing. I tought I'm sceptical, but my self-criticism is too strong. Ohh why do I keep repeating the same mistakes, I'm so damn depressed again. I tought I love myself, but far from it. I can't even trust myself... DOESNT MATTER, it will go away, I just have to fight back and ignore it, phew that was close...

Anywayyy, what do you think lovebirds?😍

Submitted March 22, 2020 at 11:40PM

I mean you obviously spend more time with your lover than close friends, but that doesn't mean you would spend more time with your lover, unless he/she wants to. The only reason you share stuff and live together is because you have such an emotional bond, understanding, trust and respect for each other, your differences, your similarities, your hardships, whatever you see in them....and so on, it can be anything basically. Love develops over time, you could love anyone who has a talent that makes them cool and knows how to manage their weaknesses. That's all one needs to posess, right? (Plus chemistry, but I rarely have that, so I personally don't care. We have imaginations for a reason.) Then if the relationship has gone stale, you don't need an other person, you need to invest in your existing relationship to bring the excitement back. So why are they different from your close friends?Do they have to be? Different? I mean you clearly don't want to bounce around too much between interesting people, you will eventually settle down, when you feel old enough to have a family or when you get bored of people in general(cuz research shows, that as we grow, we get more introverted, I wonder why or why are we extroverted in the first place...), but why don't we all experiment with other people we admire? Why are we selfish if we do that? Halsey did it with Yungblud, bless his heart, but they somehow both agreed to it. So does Yungblud have a heart from butter or did they lose the spark and logically moved on without drama, because they have nothing to lose and they are both happy and confident, that they will find someone else? Because EVERYONE falls out of love(with or without chemistry) and why not move on, discover more opportunities, right? Why isn't this part of the basic culture??? Why is divorce a bad thing? Is everyone insecure like me and they want to learn and grow their personality with someone just as insecure as them? I read that 80% of people in relationships are settling out of scarcity. Statistics back this up. Not because they love the person, but bcs they are afraid to be alone. And before I continue, there is an other psychological fact, that people care more about being like others, than being right. So be careful as you continue to read this, stay rational! Our goal here is to have the most fullfilling life and not to be fake. The majority of ppl is not why we are here for, what about the other 20%? How do they keep themselves from getting together with an other unexplored person, until they have time? Tho some of that 20% settles because they are impatient, irresponsible or have no other choice than settling. So even less forever love. They both must be really fun personalities for sure if they get along so well. Everyone is accomodating and empathietic if they are mature enough, but the core ingredient is to be fun. To see the fun in the same activities. Well that's not hard, who is not adventorous, there is something in everything? So why do people break up or love someone more than other dates?We usually end up with people very similar to us. But isn't that too easy? Isn't that like falling in love with yourself, staying in your comfort zone? What about yin and yang? Can't that be even more fun? Any success stories? Are we attracted to challenge? Is it all about continously challenging each other that makes relationships last? Then what the f is so attractive about me... freaking out all the time, right before making a move. Sometimes I hate myself seriously, anxiety is destroying me, what else do I have to do, why can't I slow down time, why do people say I'm impatient with myself, if they can't be patient with me, because I can't even do the smallest, because something always happens. Why am I so forgetful about everything. My worth, my motives, my goals. I guess I have to write everything down to remind myself. Right now I'm thinking, how could I ever have been confident? Is it me thinking this or my mental illness. Is it just a brain fog? Well good to know, that doesn't change the fact that it keeps coming back, I'm sorry I give up, brain fog doesn't let me think anymore, the hard truth is, that I'm miserable right now and the only solution is time. It's hard to accept it. I feel like Nightmare-Neffex. But I don't want to throw these toughts in the litter, like the rest, because I didn't come to any conclusion. Maybe you can finish it for me. Maybe I'm just annoyed that I can't fit every situation into my theoretical model of the universe. And even the best guesses are not always correct, life is full of unforeseen variables. Probably even irrational forces. Who knows. But I have to knowwww. Everything. How am I supposed to continue duties, live a life if I don't know why I do things? What makes you love yours? Love just doesn't make sense I guess. But is that so? I just want to make sense and not mess up, but I don't know anything. I always think I know something, but turns out I tought I'm self-sufficing, because I know what I want, but I often don't know what to think. It takes a lot of decision-making and doing to be self-sufficing. I tought I'm sceptical, but my self-criticism is too strong. Ohh why do I keep repeating the same mistakes, I'm so damn depressed again. I tought I love myself, but far from it. I can't even trust myself... DOESNT MATTER, it will go away, I just have to fight back and ignore it, phew that was close...Anywayyy, what do you think lovebirds?😍