I've been using prostitutes since I was 18

I am now 28, from the UK if anyone cares. I have been visiting prostitutes since I was 19.

It started when I was I college and everyone around me was talking (bragging) about how many girls they'd had sex with or, for some, the fact that they'd had sex at all. So I did some research and found out about a brothel in my local town (small city really). And I went there.

It was a bit dingy, and all I had was a massage with a "happy ending". But I was the first kind of sexual contact I'd ever had with a woman in my life.

Before this the only sexual activity I'd ever partaken in was receiving oral and anal sex from a man I'd met on the internet. I thought I was gay, I'm not.

I visited the same establishment a few months where I lost my "true" virginity to a young woman from Taiwan.

Since then I've visited probably over 20 different women who sell sex. I've visited women who've indulged my crossdressing fantasies, I've visited women who've acted timid, I've visited who are so dominant I became their plaything, I've had threesomes with women and men, I've had sex with transexual women, women have spat on me and in my mouth, I've been made to choke on sex toys, I've spanked and been spanked, I've had my hair pulled and I've pulled hair myself, all 3 of my sexual organs (mouth, penis, and anus) have had a mouth, penis, or sex toy in or on them at some point. I've indulged my sexual appetites to an almost De Sadian degree.

To this date I've never had sex with a woman without money changing hands at some point. And I worry I'll never be able to have an honest relationship with a women, because at some point they'll ask me "How did you lose your virginity?" and I won't have the strength to tell them the truth. And I worry I'll never be able to settle down with one woman given the life I've led.

But I do think that it's been good for me overall. If I wasn't able to have sex with and talk with women without social subtext, I would be a worse person for it.

Having sex with prostitutes on a regular basis has taught me that the physical act of sex is meaningless in and of itself. Love it what makes it more than just a biological process. If I'd never had sex, I'd probably still see it as the ultimate goal of, and reason for, a relationship, rather than knowing it's just a small part of knowing and truly loving another human being.

When I was a teenager I was bullied, reclusive, with poor personnal hygeine, niche interests, and no interest in working for a living. I couldn't see why girls didn't look at me twice *rolls eyes* It had nothing to do with the above problems, if they'd just look past the horrific exterior they'd see the real me. Never mind that I'd never given them a reason to look, and as far as I was concerned women were a different bloody species at best, and walking vaginas at worst. I was a trainwreck, and continued to be one into my twenties.

If it wasn't for a Tiawanese prostitute named Mimi, I'd be a redpilled, incel, 'niceguy' telling everyone that women are inherently evil because they won't have sex with me.

I'm a much better person now. I have a steady job I'm good at, people like to be around me and work with me (apparently I'm a calming presence), I see women for the people they are rather than as another species or something to be conquered.

I can't honestly say I'm proud of my sexual life. Sex isn't something you should be 'proud of', it just is. But at this moment in my life I am happy. Is that wrong do you think? Or is it more simply a sign that I'm truly lost to my own immorality?

I'll also ask; Did you have a knee-jerk reaction to the title of this post? And what was it? Was it along the lines of this quote from the recent BBC drama 'The Trial Of Christine Keeler'

" ...the fact you've had experiences these people can scarcely admit they envy only pours fuel on the roaring bonfire of your depravity,"

Or was it something else, more akin to pity? I'd like to know what people think of my story.

Submitted March 09, 2020 at 11:53PM

I am now 28, from the UK if anyone cares. I have been visiting prostitutes since I was 19.It started when I was I college and everyone around me was talking (bragging) about how many girls they'd had sex with or, for some, the fact that they'd had sex at all. So I did some research and found out about a brothel in my local town (small city really). And I went there.It was a bit dingy, and all I had was a massage with a "happy ending". But I was the first kind of sexual contact I'd ever had with a woman in my life.Before this the only sexual activity I'd ever partaken in was receiving oral and anal sex from a man I'd met on the internet. I thought I was gay, I'm not.I visited the same establishment a few months where I lost my "true" virginity to a young woman from Taiwan.Since then I've visited probably over 20 different women who sell sex. I've visited women who've indulged my crossdressing fantasies, I've visited women who've acted timid, I've visited who are so dominant I became their plaything, I've had threesomes with women and men, I've had sex with transexual women, women have spat on me and in my mouth, I've been made to choke on sex toys, I've spanked and been spanked, I've had my hair pulled and I've pulled hair myself, all 3 of my sexual organs (mouth, penis, and anus) have had a mouth, penis, or sex toy in or on them at some point. I've indulged my sexual appetites to an almost De Sadian degree.To this date I've never had sex with a woman without money changing hands at some point. And I worry I'll never be able to have an honest relationship with a women, because at some point they'll ask me "How did you lose your virginity?" and I won't have the strength to tell them the truth. And I worry I'll never be able to settle down with one woman given the life I've led.But I do think that it's been good for me overall. If I wasn't able to have sex with and talk with women without social subtext, I would be a worse person for it.Having sex with prostitutes on a regular basis has taught me that the physical act of sex is meaningless in and of itself. Love it what makes it more than just a biological process. If I'd never had sex, I'd probably still see it as the ultimate goal of, and reason for, a relationship, rather than knowing it's just a small part of knowing and truly loving another human being.When I was a teenager I was bullied, reclusive, with poor personnal hygeine, niche interests, and no interest in working for a living. I couldn't see why girls didn't look at me twice *rolls eyes* It had nothing to do with the above problems, if they'd just look past the horrific exterior they'd see the real me. Never mind that I'd never given them a reason to look, and as far as I was concerned women were a different bloody species at best, and walking vaginas at worst. I was a trainwreck, and continued to be one into my twenties.If it wasn't for a Tiawanese prostitute named Mimi, I'd be a redpilled, incel, 'niceguy' telling everyone that women are inherently evil because they won't have sex with me.I'm a much better person now. I have a steady job I'm good at, people like to be around me and work with me (apparently I'm a calming presence), I see women for the people they are rather than as another species or something to be conquered.I can't honestly say I'm proud of my sexual life. Sex isn't something you should be 'proud of', it just is. But at this moment in my life I am happy. Is that wrong do you think? Or is it more simply a sign that I'm truly lost to my own immorality?I'll also ask; Did you have a knee-jerk reaction to the title of this post? And what was it? Was it along the lines of this quote from the recent BBC drama 'The Trial Of Christine Keeler'" ...the fact you've had experiences these people can scarcely admit they envy only pours fuel on the roaring bonfire of your depravity,"Or was it something else, more akin to pity? I'd like to know what people think of my story.