I Can't Make My Girlfriend Cum

Hey what's up everyone. I come here today with a heavy heart, full of insecurity and self-doubt. I (27M) cannot get my girlfriend (25F) to cum. We are each other's first relationship. It feels like we are in sync in other areas of our relationship, but for some reason there is this disconnect when it comes to sex. It seems like we've tried every combination of going down on her, fingering, and clit playing for at least 30 minutes. Sometimes I feel like she is getting there by the way she squirms but it just fades away, then I see this sad look on her face and she gives up. It makes my heart sink knowing I can't please her. I went and bought her some lube and a vibrator which doesn't seem to be helping at all. We have talked about it and she says she can get herself off from masturbation and reassures me that it's not anything to do with me or my fault, but I can't get the thought out of my head.

I'm a pretty self-secure person, however this is making me feel like less of a man and really bumming my confidence. I feel really selfish because she ends up giving me a blowjob, but I can't satisfy her the same way.

On top of all this, it turns out I'm actually too big to fuck her. She is so tight that every time we have tried to have "sex" I can't get it in.

I have tried not to express these thoughts because I dont want her to feel even worse or start becoming even more self-conscious, but all of this is really starting to weigh on me. My worst fear is that she will leave me because I can't please her.

Can anyone give me some advice of where to go from here? What can I do?



Submitted March 09, 2020 at 11:48PM

Hey what's up everyone. I come here today with a heavy heart, full of insecurity and self-doubt. I (27M) cannot get my girlfriend (25F) to cum. We are each other's first relationship. It feels like we are in sync in other areas of our relationship, but for some reason there is this disconnect when it comes to sex. It seems like we've tried every combination of going down on her, fingering, and clit playing for at least 30 minutes. Sometimes I feel like she is getting there by the way she squirms but it just fades away, then I see this sad look on her face and she gives up. It makes my heart sink knowing I can't please her. I went and bought her some lube and a vibrator which doesn't seem to be helping at all. We have talked about it and she says she can get herself off from masturbation and reassures me that it's not anything to do with me or my fault, but I can't get the thought out of my head.I'm a pretty self-secure person, however this is making me feel like less of a man and really bumming my confidence. I feel really selfish because she ends up giving me a blowjob, but I can't satisfy her the same way.On top of all this, it turns out I'm actually too big to fuck her. She is so tight that every time we have tried to have "sex" I can't get it in.I have tried not to express these thoughts because I dont want her to feel even worse or start becoming even more self-conscious, but all of this is really starting to weigh on me. My worst fear is that she will leave me because I can't please her.Can anyone give me some advice of where to go from here? What can I do?
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