Fighting couples out there over COVID19?

Hi all- interesting times we’re all in... I’m curious if any other couples out there are in a similar predicament I’d never thought my girlfriend (27) and I (M 26) would be in. We’re both cooped up now like most of the world and I generally have a modest amount of work to do while she unfortunately was just laid off being in one of the people-gathering type industries, so now she is left without much to do except come up with personal endeavors - of which I’ve also done for myself to fill the time between work obligations.

The problem is, I’m quite a content introverted extrovert who has no problem with more alone time in these times and also heavily in the medical/science field so I’ve at this point just done way too much research into this situation to where I feel the most comfortable really self-quarantining and laying low to avoid infection at all costs. I really don’t think we should be leaving the house unless absolutely necessary or doing activities far from others (walking in the local park, etc) while doing everything to maintain distance from others/personal safety (conscientious about touching things, avoiding the face, washing hands etc).

She on the other hand is quite the extrovert and is struggling big time with not being able to see friends or go out to restaurants/bars and especially with the financial psychological aspects of being laid off. For me, it’s hard to understand because this situation is serious and temporary and I try to explain this to her that it’s in our best interest to just lay low and get through the mental hardships for this very temporary situation. She doesn’t take it as seriously as me and wants to walk out frequently, has no problem making errands to local stores, grocery stores and doesn’t make much attempt to distance herself from others/pay attention to surfaces she’s touching.

It’s making me freaking paranoid because I’m making all these self sacrifices to avoid getting ill and I just feel like every time she goes out she basically is risking both our health. And all that said, I’ve learned to compromise and just let her do what she does and trust that she’s taking the right precautions.

Anyway we’ve fought about it a couple times and I thought we were on the same page to agree to disagree but lately she’s been picking fights with me about how she’s unsure if this is good for our new-ish relationship to be cooped up for 24 hours a day and that I’m being “distant” and that I don’t want to go out with her when she goes out. I think it’s totally unreasonable to make me feel bad about my boundaries and simultaneously I have no idea how to mitigate the situation for her because I’ve been trying to help her come up with hobbies or things to do to fill her time to which she sorta gets offended from thinking I’m like babying her... it’s a lose-lose, listen to her hardships with boredom but unable to offer any suggestions without coming of condescendingly.

Truth be told I’m frustrated with her exacerbating this issue when it is just our current reality as is and again very temporary. I get how it’s overwhelming, but it’s a global crisis and I’d rather protect our health and miss out on a few friend dates over the next couple months vs get sick and have to deal with those unforeseen health consequences. I just feel very insecure in my health the way we’re handling this situation and it’s frustrating my ability to console her when she’s essentially fretting over what I consider to be very necessary circumstances.

Anyone else out there? Any advice?

TL;DR - girlfriend and I fighting over how serious to take social distancing (her less than me), don’t know how to mitigate.

Submitted March 21, 2020 at 12:26AM

Hi all- interesting times we’re all in... I’m curious if any other couples out there are in a similar predicament I’d never thought my girlfriend (27) and I (M 26) would be in. We’re both cooped up now like most of the world and I generally have a modest amount of work to do while she unfortunately was just laid off being in one of the people-gathering type industries, so now she is left without much to do except come up with personal endeavors - of which I’ve also done for myself to fill the time between work obligations.The problem is, I’m quite a content introverted extrovert who has no problem with more alone time in these times and also heavily in the medical/science field so I’ve at this point just done way too much research into this situation to where I feel the most comfortable really self-quarantining and laying low to avoid infection at all costs. I really don’t think we should be leaving the house unless absolutely necessary or doing activities far from others (walking in the local park, etc) while doing everything to maintain distance from others/personal safety (conscientious about touching things, avoiding the face, washing hands etc).She on the other hand is quite the extrovert and is struggling big time with not being able to see friends or go out to restaurants/bars and especially with the financial psychological aspects of being laid off. For me, it’s hard to understand because this situation is serious and temporary and I try to explain this to her that it’s in our best interest to just lay low and get through the mental hardships for this very temporary situation. She doesn’t take it as seriously as me and wants to walk out frequently, has no problem making errands to local stores, grocery stores and doesn’t make much attempt to distance herself from others/pay attention to surfaces she’s touching.It’s making me freaking paranoid because I’m making all these self sacrifices to avoid getting ill and I just feel like every time she goes out she basically is risking both our health. And all that said, I’ve learned to compromise and just let her do what she does and trust that she’s taking the right precautions.Anyway we’ve fought about it a couple times and I thought we were on the same page to agree to disagree but lately she’s been picking fights with me about how she’s unsure if this is good for our new-ish relationship to be cooped up for 24 hours a day and that I’m being “distant” and that I don’t want to go out with her when she goes out. I think it’s totally unreasonable to make me feel bad about my boundaries and simultaneously I have no idea how to mitigate the situation for her because I’ve been trying to help her come up with hobbies or things to do to fill her time to which she sorta gets offended from thinking I’m like babying her... it’s a lose-lose, listen to her hardships with boredom but unable to offer any suggestions without coming of condescendingly.Truth be told I’m frustrated with her exacerbating this issue when it is just our current reality as is and again very temporary. I get how it’s overwhelming, but it’s a global crisis and I’d rather protect our health and miss out on a few friend dates over the next couple months vs get sick and have to deal with those unforeseen health consequences. I just feel very insecure in my health the way we’re handling this situation and it’s frustrating my ability to console her when she’s essentially fretting over what I consider to be very necessary circumstances.Anyone else out there? Any advice?TL;DR - girlfriend and I fighting over how serious to take social distancing (her less than me), don’t know how to mitigate.