I’m (m) into anally fisting myself but my wife has refused to ‘allow’ me.

I used to fist myself all the time. I enjoy the feeling, I won’t get too much into it. We all have our own little thing I guess. When I first met my now wife, I knew one day I’d have to tell her. Three years into our relationship, I did. She was immediately disgusted and nearly broke up with me. It was heartbreaking and devastating to me. It was my deepest darkest secret and she thought it was gross. I understood though, because I mean, it’s me stretching my asshole as wide as I can (I like large insertions and deep play too). We talked about it, and she told me it made her very uncomfortable and wanted me to stop. Okay, fair enough. I stopped. We were having lots of sex at the time and I’d get over it.

We’ve been together for over eight years now. We’re married, she’s been loyally with me through boot camp, going far for military schooling, me being stationed away, and even a deployment. This woman is everything to me. She’s actually really nice and pure, very pretty, and I’m insanely attracted to her. That said, she’s told me something before that recently got me thinking. Whenever we have sex and I want to try something else (like 69’ing or me eating her ass), and she doesn’t, it stops there. Because it’s her body, she says. Very true, I will respect that, always. As soon as she says that, the buck stops. I move on. This isn’t the problem.

I’ve been extraordinarily stressed lately. My imminent reenlistment, recent promotion, the state of how agonizingly undermanned my shop is at work, and the massive amounts of new responsibilities and slack that I have to pick up now make me want to seek ways to relax. I don’t drink (I don’t like the taste of alcohol) and I don’t smoke (tobacco of any kind is nasty. I make sure my subordinates know it too). So I play video games to unwind, or mess around with my wife.

Lately, I thought about anal play with myself as a way to relax. We don’t have kids and we live by ourselves with no other roommates. So I gathered the courage to ask her how she felt about it. Her facial expression immediately changed. She told me it was nasty and the thought of me doing it disgusts her and that she doesn’t want me even thinking about it. I said it wasn’t fair that she’s telling me what to do with me body when she’s told me before regarding hers. She shut down and told me I didn’t care how she felt.

We went to sleep, and haven’t talked about it since. Am I being a jerk for wanting to do this? If I am, I’m sorry. But if I’m not, how can I tell her that it’s truly not fair that she’s acting like my body is HER property?

TL;DR: I want to fist myself and my wife won’t let me but still tells me that her body is her own.

Submitted February 23, 2020 at 11:35PM

I used to fist myself all the time. I enjoy the feeling, I won’t get too much into it. We all have our own little thing I guess. When I first met my now wife, I knew one day I’d have to tell her. Three years into our relationship, I did. She was immediately disgusted and nearly broke up with me. It was heartbreaking and devastating to me. It was my deepest darkest secret and she thought it was gross. I understood though, because I mean, it’s me stretching my asshole as wide as I can (I like large insertions and deep play too). We talked about it, and she told me it made her very uncomfortable and wanted me to stop. Okay, fair enough. I stopped. We were having lots of sex at the time and I’d get over it.We’ve been together for over eight years now. We’re married, she’s been loyally with me through boot camp, going far for military schooling, me being stationed away, and even a deployment. This woman is everything to me. She’s actually really nice and pure, very pretty, and I’m insanely attracted to her. That said, she’s told me something before that recently got me thinking. Whenever we have sex and I want to try something else (like 69’ing or me eating her ass), and she doesn’t, it stops there. Because it’s her body, she says. Very true, I will respect that, always. As soon as she says that, the buck stops. I move on. This isn’t the problem.I’ve been extraordinarily stressed lately. My imminent reenlistment, recent promotion, the state of how agonizingly undermanned my shop is at work, and the massive amounts of new responsibilities and slack that I have to pick up now make me want to seek ways to relax. I don’t drink (I don’t like the taste of alcohol) and I don’t smoke (tobacco of any kind is nasty. I make sure my subordinates know it too). So I play video games to unwind, or mess around with my wife.Lately, I thought about anal play with myself as a way to relax. We don’t have kids and we live by ourselves with no other roommates. So I gathered the courage to ask her how she felt about it. Her facial expression immediately changed. She told me it was nasty and the thought of me doing it disgusts her and that she doesn’t want me even thinking about it. I said it wasn’t fair that she’s telling me what to do with me body when she’s told me before regarding hers. She shut down and told me I didn’t care how she felt.We went to sleep, and haven’t talked about it since. Am I being a jerk for wanting to do this? If I am, I’m sorry. But if I’m not, how can I tell her that it’s truly not fair that she’s acting like my body is HER property?TL;DR: I want to fist myself and my wife won’t let me but still tells me that her body is her own.