My (F31) alcoholic husband (M 31) said he would stop drinking when I told him I’m planning to move out, but has not stop and when confronted he says soon....

Me and my husband have being together for 13 years, we have being married for 3 years. And the last 3 years have being the hardest of my life, he has always being a drinker but it only became a problem when we got married and he started a new business. At first I thought it would be a phase because of the the new business, but it wasn’t and I started to develop a drinking problem myself.

We both enable each other for the first two years, but I realize it was a problem when close friends had a mini intervention for me. For the last year I have stop buying alcohol (but a few times I did) and have being trying to quit on my own, but have fail many times. Almost everyday I get home there’s a bottle on the kitchen counter, there are days I can resist and there are days I can’t. I have being trying to encourage him to get help and always send him links to audio books (books that I heard myself to encourage me to stop drinking) or aa meetings information but he has ignored them. This past holiday season we had very bad arguments and both of our family found out the struggles we are having.

I have reach my limit this week and told him I was looking for apartments because I can’t keep doing this to myself or keep putting up with his drinking. Two days after he said he was sorry and he was going to quit, but ever since then he keeps buying alcohol. I confronted him about it and he got defensive and said “I told you I would quit soon”. When I asked him what soon meant to him and if I could get a date, he got angry and told me “I can’t tell you a date”. So now idk if I should continue my apartment hunting or give him more time.

Tl;dr? husband can’t tell me when he is going to stop drinking after I tell him I’m looking for apartment to move out.



Submitted January 31, 2020 at 12:09AM

Me and my husband have being together for 13 years, we have being married for 3 years. And the last 3 years have being the hardest of my life, he has always being a drinker but it only became a problem when we got married and he started a new business. At first I thought it would be a phase because of the the new business, but it wasn’t and I started to develop a drinking problem myself.We both enable each other for the first two years, but I realize it was a problem when close friends had a mini intervention for me. For the last year I have stop buying alcohol (but a few times I did) and have being trying to quit on my own, but have fail many times. Almost everyday I get home there’s a bottle on the kitchen counter, there are days I can resist and there are days I can’t. I have being trying to encourage him to get help and always send him links to audio books (books that I heard myself to encourage me to stop drinking) or aa meetings information but he has ignored them. This past holiday season we had very bad arguments and both of our family found out the struggles we are having.I have reach my limit this week and told him I was looking for apartments because I can’t keep doing this to myself or keep putting up with his drinking. Two days after he said he was sorry and he was going to quit, but ever since then he keeps buying alcohol. I confronted him about it and he got defensive and said “I told you I would quit soon”. When I asked him what soon meant to him and if I could get a date, he got angry and told me “I can’t tell you a date”. So now idk if I should continue my apartment hunting or give him more time.Tl;dr? husband can’t tell me when he is going to stop drinking after I tell him I’m looking for apartment to move out.
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