My (F31) alcoholic husband (M 31) said he would stop drinking when I told him I’m planning to move out, but has not stop and when confronted he says soon....

Me and my husband have being together for 13 years, we have being married for 3 years. And the last 3 years have being the hardest of my life, he has always being a drinker but it only became a problem when we got married and he started a new business. At first I thought it would be a phase because of the the new business, but it wasn’t and I started to develop a drinking problem myself.

We both enable each other for the first two years, but I realize it was a problem when close friends had a mini intervention for me. For the last year I have stop buying alcohol (but a few times I did) and have being trying to quit on my own, but have fail many times. Almost everyday I get home there’s a bottle on the kitchen counter, there are days I can resist and there are days I can’t. I have being trying to encourage him to get help and always send him links to audio books (books that I heard myself to encourage me to stop drinking) or aa meetings information but he has ignored them. This past holiday season we had very bad arguments and both of our family found out the struggles we are having.

I have reach my limit this week and told him I was looking for apartments because I can’t keep doing this to myself or keep putting up with his drinking. Two days after he said he was sorry and he was going to quit, but ever since then he keeps buying alcohol. I confronted him about it and he got defensive and said “I told you I would quit soon”. When I asked him what soon meant to him and if I could get a date, he got angry and told me “I can’t tell you a date”. So now idk if I should continue my apartment hunting or give him more time.

Tl;dr? husband can’t tell me when he is going to stop drinking after I tell him I’m looking for apartment to move out.



Submitted January 31, 2020 at 12:09AM

Me and my husband have being together for 13 years, we have being married for 3 years. And the last 3 years have being the hardest of my life, he has always being a drinker but it only became a problem when we got married and he started a new business. At first I thought it would be a phase because of the the new business, but it wasn’t and I started to develop a drinking problem myself.We both enable each other for the first two years, but I realize it was a problem when close friends had a mini intervention for me. For the last year I have stop buying alcohol (but a few times I did) and have being trying to quit on my own, but have fail many times. Almost everyday I get home there’s a bottle on the kitchen counter, there are days I can resist and there are days I can’t. I have being trying to encourage him to get help and always send him links to audio books (books that I heard myself to encourage me to stop drinking) or aa meetings information but he has ignored them. This past holiday season we had very bad arguments and both of our family found out the struggles we are having.I have reach my limit this week and told him I was looking for apartments because I can’t keep doing this to myself or keep putting up with his drinking. Two days after he said he was sorry and he was going to quit, but ever since then he keeps buying alcohol. I confronted him about it and he got defensive and said “I told you I would quit soon”. When I asked him what soon meant to him and if I could get a date, he got angry and told me “I can’t tell you a date”. So now idk if I should continue my apartment hunting or give him more time.Tl;dr? husband can’t tell me when he is going to stop drinking after I tell him I’m looking for apartment to move out.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more