I just keep dismissing the fact that my (M17) 7 month relationship with my girlfriend (F17) is just toxic, but I just can’t bring myself to end it.

I don’t really know what to say, my relationship with my girlfriend has turned toxic and now I look at it, it has been for a few months. She was more than okay at the beginning of the relationship, taking most jealousy situations with ease and accepting I’m my own person. Slowly as things got serious these tendencies just arose. It’s like something switched in her head and at the moment we’re both hoping it’s down to the contraceptive pill that she is on, as it’s the mini pill and is known to cause depressive episodes etc. However we can’t be sure. I’ve lost friendships with some really cool female friends because my girlfriend is just overly jealous, cry’s endlessly when a situation of going out without her comes into play, and then passively try’s to talk me out of going. When I’m out without her it’s constant unease at the situation. She’s been through my phone countless times almost everytime we meet and has done it once whilst I was asleep. But I suppose the thing that gets me the most is just the passive aggression. I can’t describe something so frustrating. She is just constantly blunt with me in person and over text. I ask what’s wrong, it’s “nothing”. I say okay, it’s an hour of bluntness until she eventually says that’s she not okay and was never okay but will refuse to tell me why she’s not okay because it’s causes arguments and makes me upset. I tried making things apparent that her behaviour is not okay, and I nearly ended the relationship until she begged me repeatedly that she is going to change and won’t ever make me feel like this again and seemingly accepted that her behaviour was completely out of order. Long story short littereally a DAY after this all came out and she made her promises. We’ve had another argument about her not telling me what’s wrong and her crying again. But this time she’s told me she doesn’t want to tell me because she’s scared I’ll break up with her. I don’t really know what to do in all honesty. I really love her, and I think she loves me too at this point, we’ve been so strong at some points but on the brink at others. We’ve just booked a trip to Ireland to see her family in feburary so I don’t even want to think about breaking up with her at this point but I just don’t know what to do, I feel trapped, I want to stay with her but I kinda know that this behaviour is just gonna continue. She said we’ll have to wait and see how she feels after she comes off this mini pill which is in a few days and if she’s still like she is then she’ll seek counselling. But this shit is tough, it’s a day in day out cycle. I think I’m a nice guy, but there’s only so much reassuring, begging for her to tell me why she’s upset, and not raising issues to protect her feelings I can do. Any advice?

TL:DR My girlfriend is toxic I think, and I fear I’m in way to deep to end the relationship or raise my issues further.

Submitted January 08, 2020 at 12:04AM

I don’t really know what to say, my relationship with my girlfriend has turned toxic and now I look at it, it has been for a few months. She was more than okay at the beginning of the relationship, taking most jealousy situations with ease and accepting I’m my own person. Slowly as things got serious these tendencies just arose. It’s like something switched in her head and at the moment we’re both hoping it’s down to the contraceptive pill that she is on, as it’s the mini pill and is known to cause depressive episodes etc. However we can’t be sure. I’ve lost friendships with some really cool female friends because my girlfriend is just overly jealous, cry’s endlessly when a situation of going out without her comes into play, and then passively try’s to talk me out of going. When I’m out without her it’s constant unease at the situation. She’s been through my phone countless times almost everytime we meet and has done it once whilst I was asleep. But I suppose the thing that gets me the most is just the passive aggression. I can’t describe something so frustrating. She is just constantly blunt with me in person and over text. I ask what’s wrong, it’s “nothing”. I say okay, it’s an hour of bluntness until she eventually says that’s she not okay and was never okay but will refuse to tell me why she’s not okay because it’s causes arguments and makes me upset. I tried making things apparent that her behaviour is not okay, and I nearly ended the relationship until she begged me repeatedly that she is going to change and won’t ever make me feel like this again and seemingly accepted that her behaviour was completely out of order. Long story short littereally a DAY after this all came out and she made her promises. We’ve had another argument about her not telling me what’s wrong and her crying again. But this time she’s told me she doesn’t want to tell me because she’s scared I’ll break up with her. I don’t really know what to do in all honesty. I really love her, and I think she loves me too at this point, we’ve been so strong at some points but on the brink at others. We’ve just booked a trip to Ireland to see her family in feburary so I don’t even want to think about breaking up with her at this point but I just don’t know what to do, I feel trapped, I want to stay with her but I kinda know that this behaviour is just gonna continue. She said we’ll have to wait and see how she feels after she comes off this mini pill which is in a few days and if she’s still like she is then she’ll seek counselling. But this shit is tough, it’s a day in day out cycle. I think I’m a nice guy, but there’s only so much reassuring, begging for her to tell me why she’s upset, and not raising issues to protect her feelings I can do. Any advice?TL:DR My girlfriend is toxic I think, and I fear I’m in way to deep to end the relationship or raise my issues further.