Where do I go in limbo?

Tldr Fell for somebody real hard, neither of us shoild be in a relationship right now. I asked her anyway. Havent talked much since. Maybe a month. But Im at a loss without her around.

I fell for somebody so hard. They made the first move. We went to a dance. We said things you don't say to a friend and you don't make friends by doing the things we did. We both know that we will leave soon so we shouldnt try anything, and we didnt try to be anything. We stopped talking because I cant do it. I dont know if she fully understands how I feel. All I know is that I did not just go back to living an old life. She changed my tastes and now I dont see anything else, do anything. Its like the only point of doing things was her. We havent talked in a month or so. I dont think I want to move on. I liked the way we talked. The way she looked at me. I cant keep avoiding her or ignoring what Im thinking, but she already said she cant do this right now and I know neither of us can afford to. It hurts to see her friends. I hurt to know how futile everything we do right now is. We should just have fun, but I cant make the same things sweet without her. When she was gone but we were togetherish everything was better. Nothing tastes the same. But what do I do now? Im in limbo.

Submitted December 10, 2019 at 11:50PM

Tldr Fell for somebody real hard, neither of us shoild be in a relationship right now. I asked her anyway. Havent talked much since. Maybe a month. But Im at a loss without her around.I fell for somebody so hard. They made the first move. We went to a dance. We said things you don't say to a friend and you don't make friends by doing the things we did. We both know that we will leave soon so we shouldnt try anything, and we didnt try to be anything. We stopped talking because I cant do it. I dont know if she fully understands how I feel. All I know is that I did not just go back to living an old life. She changed my tastes and now I dont see anything else, do anything. Its like the only point of doing things was her. We havent talked in a month or so. I dont think I want to move on. I liked the way we talked. The way she looked at me. I cant keep avoiding her or ignoring what Im thinking, but she already said she cant do this right now and I know neither of us can afford to. It hurts to see her friends. I hurt to know how futile everything we do right now is. We should just have fun, but I cant make the same things sweet without her. When she was gone but we were togetherish everything was better. Nothing tastes the same. But what do I do now? Im in limbo.