My (27/F) romantic interest (30/M) told me he’s scared of dating me because my dad is his PhD supervisor. Thoughts?

Hi everyone,

I (27/F) met this guy (30/M) through my dad. They have a very close working relationship, my dad is not only his PhD supervisor, they also have around 3 published academic articles together. I started texting with this guy, and we texted non-stop for about 2 weeks. One day he told me he liked me as something more, and I told him I felt the same way. However, when the topic of my dad came up, he said he would feel really uncomfortable, like betraying his trust, and with an ethic dilemma.

He said we should be friends instead, and that he’s not rejecting me, that it’s the context that troubles him. I felt he was genuine, I do feel he likes me, but he’s just anxious about the whole thing. However, some friends have told me that he’s just making excuses, that if he really liked me, he wouldn’t care about any barriers. I’m really upset because I really like him, but maybe I am being rejected.

He told me “Imagine you have a Ferrari and you already started the engine, but you have a chain in front of you stopping you from actually driving the car”, I think that sums up how he feels.

What do you guys think?



Submitted December 10, 2019 at 11:28PM

Hi everyone,I (27/F) met this guy (30/M) through my dad. They have a very close working relationship, my dad is not only his PhD supervisor, they also have around 3 published academic articles together. I started texting with this guy, and we texted non-stop for about 2 weeks. One day he told me he liked me as something more, and I told him I felt the same way. However, when the topic of my dad came up, he said he would feel really uncomfortable, like betraying his trust, and with an ethic dilemma.He said we should be friends instead, and that he’s not rejecting me, that it’s the context that troubles him. I felt he was genuine, I do feel he likes me, but he’s just anxious about the whole thing. However, some friends have told me that he’s just making excuses, that if he really liked me, he wouldn’t care about any barriers. I’m really upset because I really like him, but maybe I am being rejected.He told me “Imagine you have a Ferrari and you already started the engine, but you have a chain in front of you stopping you from actually driving the car”, I think that sums up how he feels.What do you guys think?
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