I (22F) am not sure if I'm fully invested or romantically interested in my new boyfriend (23M).

This may seem like a very typical question, but I'm really struggling with this and I need advice.

I've been friends with my now-boyfriend, D, for almost 5 years now. We've gotten along well for that whole time, and over the past year, we've gotten really, really close. We've made out on and off, fooled around a few times, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship. And he knew that. I made it clear, and he was very understanding.

A week or so ago, he asked me out, and I said yes. For all intents and purposes, he seems like my ideal guy-- he's sweet, caring, affectionate, thoughtful, and a dozen other things that I want in a partner. But after making it official, something just feels... different.

Maybe it's just stress due to everything else going on in my life, or maybe I pressured myself into something I wasn't ready for. I THOUGHT I was ready, and I know that I care about him, but something about the word "boyfriend" just tastes wrong on my tongue. I cried about it once and talked to him about it, and he was very understanding of my concerns, but I couldn't feel relieved because I was feeling so guilty.

I just need some advice. I'm scared, and I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to invest myself in him when I'm not actually attached, but I also don't want to break off something if it is right. I'm confused and worried and I just have no idea what to do.

Thanks for any advice that can be shared!

TL;DR: New relationship doesn't feel right, but I don't know if it's him or me.



Submitted December 11, 2019 at 12:20AM

This may seem like a very typical question, but I'm really struggling with this and I need advice.I've been friends with my now-boyfriend, D, for almost 5 years now. We've gotten along well for that whole time, and over the past year, we've gotten really, really close. We've made out on and off, fooled around a few times, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship. And he knew that. I made it clear, and he was very understanding.A week or so ago, he asked me out, and I said yes. For all intents and purposes, he seems like my ideal guy-- he's sweet, caring, affectionate, thoughtful, and a dozen other things that I want in a partner. But after making it official, something just feels... different.Maybe it's just stress due to everything else going on in my life, or maybe I pressured myself into something I wasn't ready for. I THOUGHT I was ready, and I know that I care about him, but something about the word "boyfriend" just tastes wrong on my tongue. I cried about it once and talked to him about it, and he was very understanding of my concerns, but I couldn't feel relieved because I was feeling so guilty.I just need some advice. I'm scared, and I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to invest myself in him when I'm not actually attached, but I also don't want to break off something if it is right. I'm confused and worried and I just have no idea what to do.Thanks for any advice that can be shared!TL;DR: New relationship doesn't feel right, but I don't know if it's him or me.
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