OKCupid to in person meet

I've been using OKCupid for a couple of months in Germany now and so far I've gotten a few likes, but they're not people I'm interested in. As for me browsing others' profiles, most of them seem very similar but on occasion one stands out a bit and I take the time to write a personalized message (never copy/pasted). The number of replies I've gotten I can count on one hand (and you can't even see what you had sent or whether it was read unless the other person likes you back, even for subscribers).

I've been under the impression that this is partly due to women getting barraged with messages that they don't even look at most. I have to wonder how many messages I've sent that drowned in someone's inbox...

Anyways, I got used to most of this and accepted that for the most part OKC is a longshot, whether due to finding the right crowd of people or getting heard in the crowd. However, a couple of days ago I read a profile that sounded so much like the kind of person I was interested in that I took a couple of days to get a really good intro message to send, but I have no idea if it will get seen or I might get a reply. And me being the curious person (but not expecting much after a friend telling me how many people use a nickname/fake name), I googled the name and the city and found them through the performing arts organization they worked in. Now I regret it because I'll be thinking about the person nonstop, hoping I would at least get a rejection so I can move on.

It turns out the person will be performing in a couple of weeks or so and I might be able to get a ticket to see the show. How appropriate/inappropriate would it be to go to a show and introduce myself after the show (and maybe not mention having seen their OKC profile)? A friend of mine tells me that even if the person remembers the OKC message, if I make a positive impression, it will be seen as determined and not creepy. Honestly these days I have no idea whether it's appropriate or not, and would really appreciate some honest thoughts from others.

EDIT: she's 32 and I'm 30 (M)



Submitted December 08, 2019 at 11:20PM

I've been using OKCupid for a couple of months in Germany now and so far I've gotten a few likes, but they're not people I'm interested in. As for me browsing others' profiles, most of them seem very similar but on occasion one stands out a bit and I take the time to write a personalized message (never copy/pasted). The number of replies I've gotten I can count on one hand (and you can't even see what you had sent or whether it was read unless the other person likes you back, even for subscribers).I've been under the impression that this is partly due to women getting barraged with messages that they don't even look at most. I have to wonder how many messages I've sent that drowned in someone's inbox...Anyways, I got used to most of this and accepted that for the most part OKC is a longshot, whether due to finding the right crowd of people or getting heard in the crowd. However, a couple of days ago I read a profile that sounded so much like the kind of person I was interested in that I took a couple of days to get a really good intro message to send, but I have no idea if it will get seen or I might get a reply. And me being the curious person (but not expecting much after a friend telling me how many people use a nickname/fake name), I googled the name and the city and found them through the performing arts organization they worked in. Now I regret it because I'll be thinking about the person nonstop, hoping I would at least get a rejection so I can move on.It turns out the person will be performing in a couple of weeks or so and I might be able to get a ticket to see the show. How appropriate/inappropriate would it be to go to a show and introduce myself after the show (and maybe not mention having seen their OKC profile)? A friend of mine tells me that even if the person remembers the OKC message, if I make a positive impression, it will be seen as determined and not creepy. Honestly these days I have no idea whether it's appropriate or not, and would really appreciate some honest thoughts from others.EDIT: she's 32 and I'm 30 (M)

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