How do you know if you’re truly loved by your husband?

Sometimes I think I love my husband more than he loves me. There have been times that I have been painfully overlooked by him. I feel I always put him first. I’m an expat that moved to my husbands country for him. I gave up a job I liked, time with my family, everything. He has done a great job building as good a life as possible for us and I hate feeling ungrateful. But a few instances have me questioning why I do all this for him when I know he’d never do the same for me. Am I expecting too much? A few examples of what I mean: when his ex girlfriend was being all crazy towards me, he didn’t want to confront her because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. So mine got hurt instead because it felt that he was more worried about her than me (this was early on in our relationship). His sister is a bitch to me, so I cut off contact from her (just me- he still has contact with her) and he wants me to reach out to her and patch things up even though it’s really her who should be apologizing. On our wedding day, we had guests who were business colleagues of his. He went out of his way for them, like too much. I felt abandoned with all the stress and logistics, he didn’t really help. On the day after our wedding he even spent the day driving them everywhere. He also told me, before we moved to his country, that it would be temporary and if we hated it we could move. Well I’m really unhappy here a lot of the time but he now says he won’t leave because he’s so devoted to his younger brother (he has Down’s syndrome). I was recently visiting home for a few months because one of my relatives is ill and I was gone for a few weeks. When I returned, he wasn’t exactly in a hurry to be intimate with me. In fact it’s usually me who initiates sex. I’m usually the first to say “I love you”, and he then says it back.

Just to clarify, when we met and decided to be in a long term relationship, we were actually both expats living and working in a sunny Mediterranean country that I loved. He got sick of things there and asked if I’d be willing to try his home country in Northern Europe, and I enthusiastically agreed. At the time it sounded like an adventure. I know he cares for me, he’s been supportive in many ways.

I’ve just mentioned a lot of negative things. He also has a lot of good things and has shown me love and support in other ways but I really just want to discuss these negative things that are alarming to me now.



Submitted December 08, 2019 at 11:41PM

Sometimes I think I love my husband more than he loves me. There have been times that I have been painfully overlooked by him. I feel I always put him first. I’m an expat that moved to my husbands country for him. I gave up a job I liked, time with my family, everything. He has done a great job building as good a life as possible for us and I hate feeling ungrateful. But a few instances have me questioning why I do all this for him when I know he’d never do the same for me. Am I expecting too much? A few examples of what I mean: when his ex girlfriend was being all crazy towards me, he didn’t want to confront her because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. So mine got hurt instead because it felt that he was more worried about her than me (this was early on in our relationship). His sister is a bitch to me, so I cut off contact from her (just me- he still has contact with her) and he wants me to reach out to her and patch things up even though it’s really her who should be apologizing. On our wedding day, we had guests who were business colleagues of his. He went out of his way for them, like too much. I felt abandoned with all the stress and logistics, he didn’t really help. On the day after our wedding he even spent the day driving them everywhere. He also told me, before we moved to his country, that it would be temporary and if we hated it we could move. Well I’m really unhappy here a lot of the time but he now says he won’t leave because he’s so devoted to his younger brother (he has Down’s syndrome). I was recently visiting home for a few months because one of my relatives is ill and I was gone for a few weeks. When I returned, he wasn’t exactly in a hurry to be intimate with me. In fact it’s usually me who initiates sex. I’m usually the first to say “I love you”, and he then says it back.Just to clarify, when we met and decided to be in a long term relationship, we were actually both expats living and working in a sunny Mediterranean country that I loved. He got sick of things there and asked if I’d be willing to try his home country in Northern Europe, and I enthusiastically agreed. At the time it sounded like an adventure. I know he cares for me, he’s been supportive in many ways.I’ve just mentioned a lot of negative things. He also has a lot of good things and has shown me love and support in other ways but I really just want to discuss these negative things that are alarming to me now.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more