Partner wont be happy no matter what I do?

My partner says they cant control wanting to hurt me in bed. He said it's a compulsion and I cant deal with it anymore I'm not going to sleep with him it's been going on for years. So I try to push the idea of opening our relationship just for him so he can go find someone who is into it. Hes demi so It would have to be a whole relationship not just sex. But he doesnt want that he said he loves me and he wants to be only with me. He says it's a battle he has to work through. But I dont want to he part of that battle. I cant risk what it will do to me if he hurts me again my brain turns to goo for days or sometimes weeks. What do we do? If we dont have sex hell pester and I'll give in. Hes going to talk to his therapist about it in 2 weeks but idk. I am just at a fucking loss it's been so long weve tried so much.



Submitted November 08, 2019 at 11:39PM

My partner says they cant control wanting to hurt me in bed. He said it's a compulsion and I cant deal with it anymore I'm not going to sleep with him it's been going on for years. So I try to push the idea of opening our relationship just for him so he can go find someone who is into it. Hes demi so It would have to be a whole relationship not just sex. But he doesnt want that he said he loves me and he wants to be only with me. He says it's a battle he has to work through. But I dont want to he part of that battle. I cant risk what it will do to me if he hurts me again my brain turns to goo for days or sometimes weeks. What do we do? If we dont have sex hell pester and I'll give in. Hes going to talk to his therapist about it in 2 weeks but idk. I am just at a fucking loss it's been so long weve tried so much.
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