I’m (F18) doubting my compatibility with my boyfriend (19) after entering a LTR, but I have plane tickets booked to go see him

TL;DR at the bottom

Need some advice and other opinions. I’ve been with my bf for 10 months as I met him when he was backpacking in my country in February and basically ever since I met him we spent all our time together and it was really great at the start.

Ever since then he’s been back in his home country for about 2 months and since I’ve been able to step back and have a look at our relationship I’m genuinely started to get worried we’re not that great for each other after all.

It kind of seems like we have different ways we look at life and want to spend our time. In my free time I’m trying to incorporate creating things like drawing, music, reading, spending time in nature, basically trying to avoid looking at a screen. But my boyfriend loves to live a ‘chill’ lifestyle in everyday life and every time he tells me all he did all day was eat, sleep and watch Netflix my heart sort of sinks.

When he was with me I didn’t realise how lonely I felt because I spent a lot of my time with him inside instead of going out and seeing my friends and doing things I have a passion for. When I brought him along with me he never really talked to any of my friends and it just felt sort of awkward. Ever since we’ve entered a LTR I’ve been going out and seeing lots of people and doing more things and I feel really great about it.

The catch is I have a non-refundable plane ticket to go see him in about a month as I was planning to spend a few months with him and meet his family. And we do have some common interests like hiking and similar music tastes but we just differ on what we want to do in everyday life. I’ve never really had a relationship like I have had with him because we have a lot of feelings for each other but ever since I’ve been away from him I’m really started to feel really conflicted and anxious about the entire thing.

I’m just really struggling to feel close to him right now and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m also finding it really hard to be excited to see him when I feel this way. Even when he calls me and wants to talk to me I just feel so much resistance to it. Just need some opinions on if this is because of the distance between us or if it’s the relationship itself.

TL;DR: Boyfriend and I have different lifestyles and it’s making me conflicted about our relationship, but have a plane ticket booked to go see him in a month



Submitted November 01, 2019 at 10:59PM

TL;DR at the bottomNeed some advice and other opinions. I’ve been with my bf for 10 months as I met him when he was backpacking in my country in February and basically ever since I met him we spent all our time together and it was really great at the start.Ever since then he’s been back in his home country for about 2 months and since I’ve been able to step back and have a look at our relationship I’m genuinely started to get worried we’re not that great for each other after all.It kind of seems like we have different ways we look at life and want to spend our time. In my free time I’m trying to incorporate creating things like drawing, music, reading, spending time in nature, basically trying to avoid looking at a screen. But my boyfriend loves to live a ‘chill’ lifestyle in everyday life and every time he tells me all he did all day was eat, sleep and watch Netflix my heart sort of sinks.When he was with me I didn’t realise how lonely I felt because I spent a lot of my time with him inside instead of going out and seeing my friends and doing things I have a passion for. When I brought him along with me he never really talked to any of my friends and it just felt sort of awkward. Ever since we’ve entered a LTR I’ve been going out and seeing lots of people and doing more things and I feel really great about it.The catch is I have a non-refundable plane ticket to go see him in about a month as I was planning to spend a few months with him and meet his family. And we do have some common interests like hiking and similar music tastes but we just differ on what we want to do in everyday life. I’ve never really had a relationship like I have had with him because we have a lot of feelings for each other but ever since I’ve been away from him I’m really started to feel really conflicted and anxious about the entire thing.I’m just really struggling to feel close to him right now and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m also finding it really hard to be excited to see him when I feel this way. Even when he calls me and wants to talk to me I just feel so much resistance to it. Just need some opinions on if this is because of the distance between us or if it’s the relationship itself.TL;DR: Boyfriend and I have different lifestyles and it’s making me conflicted about our relationship, but have a plane ticket booked to go see him in a month
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