[HONEST ADVICE] Should I reach out again?

What’s good everyone.

Warning: This is gonna be kind of long so I apologize...

I’ve been struggling recently with rumination and thoughts of a current crush of mine who is no longer in my life. We met about a year ago and were very close friends. We talked daily and constantly throughout the days; we’d say goodnight and good morning to each other. We hung out all of the time and try to date for a month, but she was too immature emotionally for anything to happen between us. She thought it would be best if we just stayed friends considered nothing ever happened even when we did try to date (cause her signals were all over the place). She eventually began to gain feelings for someone else, and our interactions slowly dwindled and our connection kind of faded. Naturally. We talked less and less as the months went on and she got closer to him. We eventually only really talked a couple times a week if not less. We went from best friends to like distant relatives. We went from hanging out multiple times a week to once or twice a month. And when I’d try to make plans she’d end up bailing or something better would come up and she’d put me on the side burner.

The funny thing though is that she’s get mad at me for not reaching out to her, ignoring her texts, IG posts, snap stories, or not trying to plan things anymore.

Towards the end of our relationship/friendship, I completely stopped trying with her due to a text I received from her a week later finally responding to a text of mine that basically said “I’m just not getting to this, what does that say about me?”. From there, I was done putting effort into someone or something that wasn’t mutual. I stopped responding to her texts in a timely manner. I didn’t reply to that text she sent. Later that day she sent me another text saying “I’m trying to see you before I leave” (she lives elsewhere and was going home for the summer). I eventually responded a day or so later and my tone was straight to the point. She asked what was wrong and I just found it pointless to try and talk it out with her (due to how emotionally immature she is) so I tried to let it go and ignore her questions. I eventually felt like I should probably let her know what was up and I did on my time but that wasn’t cool with her apparently. I also saw she subtweeted about my response asking her followers how to nicely say she doesn’t care. After seeing that I was done done. She never replied to me text anyways after me telling her that I was fed up with how things were going and so I never reached out to her on the day we were supposed to get together to hang out. (We had planned to hang out a couple days before she left but then all of that happened so I technically ghosted her. But I was dumb and still went out with other friends that night and posted it and she saw it).

A week or so later I posted on my IG and later noticed that I lost and follower. I checked to see and saw that she not only unfollowed me but made sure I wasn’t following her either. I checked Snapchat and saw she unfriended me there too. In shock (for whatever reason) I tried to reach out to her and apologize for how I was acting and told her that I wanted to work through it and still be friends but if not I respect her decision. And that the door is open if she ever decided to reach out in the future. She read what I had to say but never responded. However on her Twitter, yet again, she subtweeted saying “Once I’m done with you, I’m DONE”.

About six months later, here we are. She hasn’t reached out to me yet I’m still here constantly thinking about her and wanting to be back in her life. I know that she’s not the type of person to ever make the first move, so part of me wonders if maybe she hasn’t reached out because she’s scared. But then the other part of me is saying that she genuinely doesn’t care about me anymore, doesn’t miss me or think about me like I do her, and that she’s moved on completely.

So now I’m here on reddit asking for y’alls advice. Do you guys think I should reach out to her again and see if she’d want to try and rebuild something, or should I leave it be, and if something happens (that I’m not initiating) in the future, then deal with it then? I think my main motivation for wanting to reach out is because I want to try to build an actual relationship with her. The guy she liked now has a girlfriend and so now would be my chance. Our first attempt didn’t feel right to me due to my own insecurities and self doubt. I’ve grown a lot of confidence since then and sense of self and feel like if I were to have another shot, we could potentially work well together. I’m just not sure how open she’d be to that. Especially since she cut me out of her life as just a friend.

Please don’t be afraid to be honest with me. Any kind of advice is what I’m looking for. I just am trying to figure out whether to hang onto hope that she’ll be in my life again and try again or let go completely. Thanks in advance!

Submitted November 18, 2019 at 12:04AM

What’s good everyone.Warning: This is gonna be kind of long so I apologize...I’ve been struggling recently with rumination and thoughts of a current crush of mine who is no longer in my life. We met about a year ago and were very close friends. We talked daily and constantly throughout the days; we’d say goodnight and good morning to each other. We hung out all of the time and try to date for a month, but she was too immature emotionally for anything to happen between us. She thought it would be best if we just stayed friends considered nothing ever happened even when we did try to date (cause her signals were all over the place). She eventually began to gain feelings for someone else, and our interactions slowly dwindled and our connection kind of faded. Naturally. We talked less and less as the months went on and she got closer to him. We eventually only really talked a couple times a week if not less. We went from best friends to like distant relatives. We went from hanging out multiple times a week to once or twice a month. And when I’d try to make plans she’d end up bailing or something better would come up and she’d put me on the side burner.The funny thing though is that she’s get mad at me for not reaching out to her, ignoring her texts, IG posts, snap stories, or not trying to plan things anymore.Towards the end of our relationship/friendship, I completely stopped trying with her due to a text I received from her a week later finally responding to a text of mine that basically said “I’m just not getting to this, what does that say about me?”. From there, I was done putting effort into someone or something that wasn’t mutual. I stopped responding to her texts in a timely manner. I didn’t reply to that text she sent. Later that day she sent me another text saying “I’m trying to see you before I leave” (she lives elsewhere and was going home for the summer). I eventually responded a day or so later and my tone was straight to the point. She asked what was wrong and I just found it pointless to try and talk it out with her (due to how emotionally immature she is) so I tried to let it go and ignore her questions. I eventually felt like I should probably let her know what was up and I did on my time but that wasn’t cool with her apparently. I also saw she subtweeted about my response asking her followers how to nicely say she doesn’t care. After seeing that I was done done. She never replied to me text anyways after me telling her that I was fed up with how things were going and so I never reached out to her on the day we were supposed to get together to hang out. (We had planned to hang out a couple days before she left but then all of that happened so I technically ghosted her. But I was dumb and still went out with other friends that night and posted it and she saw it).A week or so later I posted on my IG and later noticed that I lost and follower. I checked to see and saw that she not only unfollowed me but made sure I wasn’t following her either. I checked Snapchat and saw she unfriended me there too. In shock (for whatever reason) I tried to reach out to her and apologize for how I was acting and told her that I wanted to work through it and still be friends but if not I respect her decision. And that the door is open if she ever decided to reach out in the future. She read what I had to say but never responded. However on her Twitter, yet again, she subtweeted saying “Once I’m done with you, I’m DONE”.About six months later, here we are. She hasn’t reached out to me yet I’m still here constantly thinking about her and wanting to be back in her life. I know that she’s not the type of person to ever make the first move, so part of me wonders if maybe she hasn’t reached out because she’s scared. But then the other part of me is saying that she genuinely doesn’t care about me anymore, doesn’t miss me or think about me like I do her, and that she’s moved on completely.So now I’m here on reddit asking for y’alls advice. Do you guys think I should reach out to her again and see if she’d want to try and rebuild something, or should I leave it be, and if something happens (that I’m not initiating) in the future, then deal with it then? I think my main motivation for wanting to reach out is because I want to try to build an actual relationship with her. The guy she liked now has a girlfriend and so now would be my chance. Our first attempt didn’t feel right to me due to my own insecurities and self doubt. I’ve grown a lot of confidence since then and sense of self and feel like if I were to have another shot, we could potentially work well together. I’m just not sure how open she’d be to that. Especially since she cut me out of her life as just a friend.Please don’t be afraid to be honest with me. Any kind of advice is what I’m looking for. I just am trying to figure out whether to hang onto hope that she’ll be in my life again and try again or let go completely. Thanks in advance!