I'm [20M] nervous about seeing my LDR [23F] due to my inexperience/low libido?

I guess I have pretty much two main questions

To start off I pretty much went until now with zero sexual experience. I have never felt the need to masturbate, and watching porn would get me aroused but I still can never get close to ejaculating as far as I can tell... I have had wet dreams before however. Normal things that get guys aroused by will do the same to me, but I've never had the desire to jerk it. When I do try to jerk it while watching porn it just kind of annoys me because I don't feel anything changing/happening and eventually I lose it. I'm sure theres a psychological block aspect there. I have no childhood trauma or glaring obvious reasons to be sexually repressed, although admittedly terrible sex education (christian absistence based education for the most part, although they were not very pushy or overtly anti-sex they were certainly very unhelpful). I am not quite sure what to call this problem. Since I have started dating my GF I wanted to get to the root of this problem because prior to dating her I did not really care. My doctor has sent out bloodwork and I am waiting to see what they say about it but I will not hear back before she gets here. In the meantime I have tried staying hard long enough to simply put on a condom (never even tried before now) and I can't even do that, although I am sure the anxiety and pressure is playing a role in that as well.

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On the flip side, she will be here this week. I have known her for a couple months and we have seen in each a handful of times. She has done absolutely nothing on her end to make me feel nervous or anxious about having sex with her. I am still very nervous though because I think she is way out of my league for a lot of reasons, she's older than me, and I know she has had more partners and experience than me but that is not saying much lol. We click on such a deep level emotionally and we seem to click very very well physically. Last time we saw each other we couldn't keep ourselves off of each other and we did everything other than actually having sex, and it was most definitely my hesitation because I know she wants to. It is frustrating because I know as college aged guy I should not be OK with NOT having sex with my GF last time I saw her, so to not have that desire or not be bothered when we dont is very confusing. Even if I can't figure it out before she gets here I still want to please her in other ways and make sure that her needs are met. I'm very very scared of losing somebody that I care so much about, especially the thought of becoming a dead bedroom like I've been reading about.

​

Any thoughts would be nice, and I guess I'm also asking is if its worth bringing up with her before she comes/when she gets here?

I do want to say that I love her very much and we have such an open and honest and loving back and forth. I know no matter what her response would be very caring and supportive but it is still nerve-wracking to think about and another perspective or two would be nice. After reading my post I'm sure a lot of the anxiety is from hyping up losing my virginity.



Submitted October 16, 2019 at 12:07AM

I guess I have pretty much two main questionsTo start off I pretty much went until now with zero sexual experience. I have never felt the need to masturbate, and watching porn would get me aroused but I still can never get close to ejaculating as far as I can tell... I have had wet dreams before however. Normal things that get guys aroused by will do the same to me, but I've never had the desire to jerk it. When I do try to jerk it while watching porn it just kind of annoys me because I don't feel anything changing/happening and eventually I lose it. I'm sure theres a psychological block aspect there. I have no childhood trauma or glaring obvious reasons to be sexually repressed, although admittedly terrible sex education (christian absistence based education for the most part, although they were not very pushy or overtly anti-sex they were certainly very unhelpful). I am not quite sure what to call this problem. Since I have started dating my GF I wanted to get to the root of this problem because prior to dating her I did not really care. My doctor has sent out bloodwork and I am waiting to see what they say about it but I will not hear back before she gets here. In the meantime I have tried staying hard long enough to simply put on a condom (never even tried before now) and I can't even do that, although I am sure the anxiety and pressure is playing a role in that as well.​On the flip side, she will be here this week. I have known her for a couple months and we have seen in each a handful of times. She has done absolutely nothing on her end to make me feel nervous or anxious about having sex with her. I am still very nervous though because I think she is way out of my league for a lot of reasons, she's older than me, and I know she has had more partners and experience than me but that is not saying much lol. We click on such a deep level emotionally and we seem to click very very well physically. Last time we saw each other we couldn't keep ourselves off of each other and we did everything other than actually having sex, and it was most definitely my hesitation because I know she wants to. It is frustrating because I know as college aged guy I should not be OK with NOT having sex with my GF last time I saw her, so to not have that desire or not be bothered when we dont is very confusing. Even if I can't figure it out before she gets here I still want to please her in other ways and make sure that her needs are met. I'm very very scared of losing somebody that I care so much about, especially the thought of becoming a dead bedroom like I've been reading about.​Any thoughts would be nice, and I guess I'm also asking is if its worth bringing up with her before she comes/when she gets here?I do want to say that I love her very much and we have such an open and honest and loving back and forth. I know no matter what her response would be very caring and supportive but it is still nerve-wracking to think about and another perspective or two would be nice. After reading my post I'm sure a lot of the anxiety is from hyping up losing my virginity.
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