How do I (28M) end 7 yr relationship with fiance (30F) for new girl (30F)

Hello. Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I've been engaged to Julia for 2 year. We have been together for 7 years. We live together and share finances and a pet. We live together in a house that I own. Things are good, just not great.

An ongoing issue with us has always been Julia's mental health and lack of effort to do anything about it. Her anxiety prevents her from applying to jobs, booking any sort of appointments, using the phone, and she has had multiple panic attacks from regular social situations.

I have great benefits and we can afford a psychologist for Julia. She has booked an appointment (after a year of me nagging her) with a psychologist for 3 weeks from now. This is a great step. However I know from experience there are still multiple hurdles. She WILL do her best to try and get out of the appointment. And it is extremely likely she won't like the psychologist and will say she wants to find a different one. Pushing everything back by 6 months easy. This, combined with her crappy career choice and no drive for any better makes me feel like I'm settling. Big time.

Enter new girl. Jessica. We work for the same company and have regular email contact but almost no personal contact. We work in different towns. She has expressed an interest in me. She is super hot so vice versa. Additionally, she is the opposite of Julia. She has a great career and makes good money and is extremely outgoing. We have been talking non stop for 2 weeks and went to dinner.

I think I want to end my engagement and ask Julia to move out. She has been paying into the mortgage, so I imagine I will essentially be paying her out for her contribution to the tune of something like $15,000. I realize this.

I have not cheated on Julia and don't plan to. I also realize things may not work out with Jessica and I would end up with zero girls.

If I end up ending the engagement and asking Julia to move out. How do I do it? 100% honestly? This would crush her and I would have a concern regarding worsening mental health. Or gently, e.g. say we need a break, have her move out, and eventually end things once I know she's in a relatively good spot. Jessica is aware of all of this.

TL;DR How to get out of 7 year relationship with finance with mental health concerns.

Submitted October 26, 2019 at 11:28PM

Hello. Throwaway for obvious reasons.I've been engaged to Julia for 2 year. We have been together for 7 years. We live together and share finances and a pet. We live together in a house that I own. Things are good, just not great.An ongoing issue with us has always been Julia's mental health and lack of effort to do anything about it. Her anxiety prevents her from applying to jobs, booking any sort of appointments, using the phone, and she has had multiple panic attacks from regular social situations.I have great benefits and we can afford a psychologist for Julia. She has booked an appointment (after a year of me nagging her) with a psychologist for 3 weeks from now. This is a great step. However I know from experience there are still multiple hurdles. She WILL do her best to try and get out of the appointment. And it is extremely likely she won't like the psychologist and will say she wants to find a different one. Pushing everything back by 6 months easy. This, combined with her crappy career choice and no drive for any better makes me feel like I'm settling. Big time.Enter new girl. Jessica. We work for the same company and have regular email contact but almost no personal contact. We work in different towns. She has expressed an interest in me. She is super hot so vice versa. Additionally, she is the opposite of Julia. She has a great career and makes good money and is extremely outgoing. We have been talking non stop for 2 weeks and went to dinner.I think I want to end my engagement and ask Julia to move out. She has been paying into the mortgage, so I imagine I will essentially be paying her out for her contribution to the tune of something like $15,000. I realize this.I have not cheated on Julia and don't plan to. I also realize things may not work out with Jessica and I would end up with zero girls.If I end up ending the engagement and asking Julia to move out. How do I do it? 100% honestly? This would crush her and I would have a concern regarding worsening mental health. Or gently, e.g. say we need a break, have her move out, and eventually end things once I know she's in a relatively good spot. Jessica is aware of all of this.TL;DR How to get out of 7 year relationship with finance with mental health concerns.