32F/31M

I’m in a new relationship and I’m so happy with who he is. He’s everything I want in a partner and so much more and I’m fairly sure at this stage, he’s on the same page and we seem very compatible in many important ways. However, I’m terribly insecure, full of self-doubt and tend to be very self-sabotaging. Whether it’s my looks/appearance, my finances (32 and still in debt/living pay cheque to pay cheque), my perfectionism issues, or whatever else, I have a hard time getting out of my head and thinking that the men who I find would be better off with someone else. Over the years, I’ve been in a handful of year long relationships that are almost always ended by the other person because of my insecurities and I’m always left terribly heart-broken for a while. I stay single until I’m feeling better on my own and then get back to it. My insecurities and doubts are starting to come out in my new/2 month long relationship as I feel us getting closer. I often feel better off on my own but crave a partner after a year usually. At what point is insecurity too much for a healthy relationship? Based on your experiences or theoretically. Thanks for your insights.

Tl;dr- concerned I’m not emotionally stable/secure enough for a relationship.



Submitted October 26, 2019 at 11:50PM

I’m in a new relationship and I’m so happy with who he is. He’s everything I want in a partner and so much more and I’m fairly sure at this stage, he’s on the same page and we seem very compatible in many important ways. However, I’m terribly insecure, full of self-doubt and tend to be very self-sabotaging. Whether it’s my looks/appearance, my finances (32 and still in debt/living pay cheque to pay cheque), my perfectionism issues, or whatever else, I have a hard time getting out of my head and thinking that the men who I find would be better off with someone else. Over the years, I’ve been in a handful of year long relationships that are almost always ended by the other person because of my insecurities and I’m always left terribly heart-broken for a while. I stay single until I’m feeling better on my own and then get back to it. My insecurities and doubts are starting to come out in my new/2 month long relationship as I feel us getting closer. I often feel better off on my own but crave a partner after a year usually. At what point is insecurity too much for a healthy relationship? Based on your experiences or theoretically. Thanks for your insights.Tl;dr- concerned I’m not emotionally stable/secure enough for a relationship.
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