BF (20) given too many chances! Once a cheater always a cheater?

My BF and I are 20 and 21 from Australia. We have been dating for over 2.5 years. There is this girl at my BFs uni that created issues earlier in the year. My boyfriend was secretly catching up with her. I found out through a message on his phone and from his mum who said she was over a few months ago and they behaved very flirty. I proceeded to give him a chance to fix things but he had to dramatically reduce his communication with the girl. He seemed to have been doing this, saying that he barely spoke to her and if he was it was about uni stuff. 6 months later i get a message from her friends confused by my profile pic, that includes me and my bf, because the girl and him have been dating for months. My friend also received a message from a different girl at uni, who she knew from school, who asked whether she knew if myself and my BF were still dating because everyone at uni we under the impression that we had broken up. Long story short that day, after still promising that he wasn’t cheating, he refused to phone the girl to figure out what was going on so she came over and that’s when i found out that he had been seeing her for several months and that lies about her began about a year ago that can be verified through images i found of him at events with her, events that he had made up elaborate lies about. They were meeting at parks, the shops, her house and he even watched her netball games. She says that they had sex but he denies it. I gave him a chance but cracked down hard however he still lied about messaging her to apologise as well as taking another female friend on a family camping trip. Ik i’m an absolute idiot for still being with him but i feel stuck. I love him and i’m afraid of losing him. However, i feel so vulnerable that he is going to keep lying and history will repeat. Need advice and a harsh reality check. Will he ever change?

Edit: I will add that he doesn’t hide my relationship with him in other domains of his life. I am over at his house frequently and i am well known to his hockey club.

TL;DR Lying Bf caught cheating on me for several months and continues to lie. I’m still with him but need some brutal advice.



Submitted October 26, 2019 at 11:58PM

My BF and I are 20 and 21 from Australia. We have been dating for over 2.5 years. There is this girl at my BFs uni that created issues earlier in the year. My boyfriend was secretly catching up with her. I found out through a message on his phone and from his mum who said she was over a few months ago and they behaved very flirty. I proceeded to give him a chance to fix things but he had to dramatically reduce his communication with the girl. He seemed to have been doing this, saying that he barely spoke to her and if he was it was about uni stuff. 6 months later i get a message from her friends confused by my profile pic, that includes me and my bf, because the girl and him have been dating for months. My friend also received a message from a different girl at uni, who she knew from school, who asked whether she knew if myself and my BF were still dating because everyone at uni we under the impression that we had broken up. Long story short that day, after still promising that he wasn’t cheating, he refused to phone the girl to figure out what was going on so she came over and that’s when i found out that he had been seeing her for several months and that lies about her began about a year ago that can be verified through images i found of him at events with her, events that he had made up elaborate lies about. They were meeting at parks, the shops, her house and he even watched her netball games. She says that they had sex but he denies it. I gave him a chance but cracked down hard however he still lied about messaging her to apologise as well as taking another female friend on a family camping trip. Ik i’m an absolute idiot for still being with him but i feel stuck. I love him and i’m afraid of losing him. However, i feel so vulnerable that he is going to keep lying and history will repeat. Need advice and a harsh reality check. Will he ever change?Edit: I will add that he doesn’t hide my relationship with him in other domains of his life. I am over at his house frequently and i am well known to his hockey club.TL;DR Lying Bf caught cheating on me for several months and continues to lie. I’m still with him but need some brutal advice.
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