Can things develop slowly while dating or does it have to be intense since the beginning?

We met in July and went on 5 dates in total. I have bad anxiety so I was a bit paranoic and questioned his interest a bit but we sorta cleared it up after some misunderstandings.

He seems to be into me (physical attracted + interested in getting to know me) and said he likes me a lot.

The point is on my side idk, even since the first 2 or 3 dates I thought I was VERY attracted to him physically and felt a strong pull towards him (lots of flirting, touching, fantasizing about sex etc) to the point I considered being friends with benefits even there wasn't the option of actual dating / romantic relationship.

I didn't feel the strong infatuation / romantic idealization (it happened to me but I wasn't being in love or anything) though and doubted if I liked him or not.

Again I overthink a lot so it's a mess sometimes. I really enjoy conversation with him and has lots of positive qualities, we are different on some things but like 2 months ago I thought I didn't want to date romantically and just keep it to the physical but he said it was a bad idea. He isn't the type who likes casual probably.

I felt really bad at the idea of not seeing anymore and I didn't like the idea of keeping it platonic only. When we go on dates I always feel the urge to touch him and sometimes I feel turned on just by flirting, touching hands or being close.

Two nights ago we went for dinner and we planned to watch sometimes on Netflix but he forgot his laptop so I told him to come over anyway because I was craving contact anyway. The idea of interrupting the date after dinner was disappointing and I had shaved and prepared myself because I wanted to be intimate. I am 20 years old and I didn't even kissed until 2 days ago and I never had sex.

Before I was comfortable with the idea and really liked it. He sat close on the couch and I felt very turned on. I started teasing him (playing with his arm/hand hair a bit and we held hands. He put his arm around me and it felt so good etc but I wanted some contact and take it slow.

Then he kissed me in a very sloppy way. He used a lot of tongue and it was very wet. We drooled all over each other's face and I accidentally bit his tongue. I sat on him and he touched me in very suggestive ways and asked me to go in my room to continue but I kinda got tense because it was kinda fast I guess.

We teased each other a bit and he hugged me and apologized. Later we only talked a lot and cleared up some misunderstandings we had.

I need to say that he is not the type he is pushy for sex at all and told me it was ok if I didn't want to continue. He is a great dude tbh

The only problem is that I don't feel the strong infatuation for him which I did feel in the past for guys who were not available or interested in me. I know infatuation is temporary etc and I am willing to continue and get to know each other but I didn't feel much while kissing.

I know first kisses are awkward and it was my 100% kiss but I was nothing special. I felt turned on by him etc but I didn't feel sparks or emotions tbh

I read it was an indicator of chemistry but the sexual chemistry seems fine though? I never doubted my sexual attraction for him, maybe it's just anxiety and lack of romantic connection?

I felt very tense and thought we were going too fast and he went too hard (total French kissing).

Like to some degree I do like him and overanalyze a lot. I get anxious if he shows less interest and I feel happy when I hear from him or see him. When he is there I don't want him to go and we enjoy long conversation.

Falling in love takes time, the physical attraction is sorta present but the emotional involvement is less than I am used too. We have intimate and intellectual convos though.

I have never dated anyone and he hasn't dated seriously but has a little more experience than me. We are both 20 years old btw

I am not sure if my anxiety and emotional issues are holding me back or if I am not feeling it. I don't like the idea of being just friends because it isn't satisfying.

How much time should I consider to see if things evolve?

I do things about him a lot tbh, I get anxious if I don't hear from him and we have great convos also in person I do feel the physical chemistry that makes you want to get close to the other person the whole time.

I have anxiety and I keep questioning how things are.

Submitted October 27, 2019 at 11:29PM

We met in July and went on 5 dates in total. I have bad anxiety so I was a bit paranoic and questioned his interest a bit but we sorta cleared it up after some misunderstandings.He seems to be into me (physical attracted + interested in getting to know me) and said he likes me a lot.The point is on my side idk, even since the first 2 or 3 dates I thought I was VERY attracted to him physically and felt a strong pull towards him (lots of flirting, touching, fantasizing about sex etc) to the point I considered being friends with benefits even there wasn't the option of actual dating / romantic relationship.I didn't feel the strong infatuation / romantic idealization (it happened to me but I wasn't being in love or anything) though and doubted if I liked him or not.Again I overthink a lot so it's a mess sometimes. I really enjoy conversation with him and has lots of positive qualities, we are different on some things but like 2 months ago I thought I didn't want to date romantically and just keep it to the physical but he said it was a bad idea. He isn't the type who likes casual probably.I felt really bad at the idea of not seeing anymore and I didn't like the idea of keeping it platonic only. When we go on dates I always feel the urge to touch him and sometimes I feel turned on just by flirting, touching hands or being close.Two nights ago we went for dinner and we planned to watch sometimes on Netflix but he forgot his laptop so I told him to come over anyway because I was craving contact anyway. The idea of interrupting the date after dinner was disappointing and I had shaved and prepared myself because I wanted to be intimate. I am 20 years old and I didn't even kissed until 2 days ago and I never had sex.Before I was comfortable with the idea and really liked it. He sat close on the couch and I felt very turned on. I started teasing him (playing with his arm/hand hair a bit and we held hands. He put his arm around me and it felt so good etc but I wanted some contact and take it slow.Then he kissed me in a very sloppy way. He used a lot of tongue and it was very wet. We drooled all over each other's face and I accidentally bit his tongue. I sat on him and he touched me in very suggestive ways and asked me to go in my room to continue but I kinda got tense because it was kinda fast I guess.We teased each other a bit and he hugged me and apologized. Later we only talked a lot and cleared up some misunderstandings we had.I need to say that he is not the type he is pushy for sex at all and told me it was ok if I didn't want to continue. He is a great dude tbhThe only problem is that I don't feel the strong infatuation for him which I did feel in the past for guys who were not available or interested in me. I know infatuation is temporary etc and I am willing to continue and get to know each other but I didn't feel much while kissing.I know first kisses are awkward and it was my 100% kiss but I was nothing special. I felt turned on by him etc but I didn't feel sparks or emotions tbhI read it was an indicator of chemistry but the sexual chemistry seems fine though? I never doubted my sexual attraction for him, maybe it's just anxiety and lack of romantic connection?I felt very tense and thought we were going too fast and he went too hard (total French kissing).Like to some degree I do like him and overanalyze a lot. I get anxious if he shows less interest and I feel happy when I hear from him or see him. When he is there I don't want him to go and we enjoy long conversation.Falling in love takes time, the physical attraction is sorta present but the emotional involvement is less than I am used too. We have intimate and intellectual convos though.I have never dated anyone and he hasn't dated seriously but has a little more experience than me. We are both 20 years old btwI am not sure if my anxiety and emotional issues are holding me back or if I am not feeling it. I don't like the idea of being just friends because it isn't satisfying.How much time should I consider to see if things evolve?I do things about him a lot tbh, I get anxious if I don't hear from him and we have great convos also in person I do feel the physical chemistry that makes you want to get close to the other person the whole time.I have anxiety and I keep questioning how things are.