Why do people assume I'm just looking for something casual when I say I don't want kids? (27F)

tldr; basically the title. And do people generally think the only reason for a relationship is to have kids eventually?

Reason why I'm asking: A guy I matched with updated his profile to say that he was looking for someone to start a family with. I've had people tell me I look like "the type you settle down with", so I wasn't surprised when he messaged joking about how our kids will be athletes. I told him that I don't see myself with kids and he immediately said "ok, let's have fun". I want a relationship so I unmatched him, but I've encountered this before: when Bumble rolled out the badges to boast your family plans, I got an influx of guys who immediately asked if I wanted "fun". One said not wanting kids made me undateable, while a couple guys matched just to ask what was the point of dating. Since it seemed impossible for anyone to take me seriously, I took down the "don't want kids" badge, and now just avoid profiles that mention family or kids.

I still want to have an emotionally fulfilling relationship with someone, I just don't see kids as part of my future. Why does that come across as "I'm just here for fun"? It gives me the impression that most people think the only reason for a relationship is to have kids. Is this true? Is that what you guys think, too?



Submitted August 27, 2019 at 12:09AM

tldr; basically the title. And do people generally think the only reason for a relationship is to have kids eventually?Reason why I'm asking: A guy I matched with updated his profile to say that he was looking for someone to start a family with. I've had people tell me I look like "the type you settle down with", so I wasn't surprised when he messaged joking about how our kids will be athletes. I told him that I don't see myself with kids and he immediately said "ok, let's have fun". I want a relationship so I unmatched him, but I've encountered this before: when Bumble rolled out the badges to boast your family plans, I got an influx of guys who immediately asked if I wanted "fun". One said not wanting kids made me undateable, while a couple guys matched just to ask what was the point of dating. Since it seemed impossible for anyone to take me seriously, I took down the "don't want kids" badge, and now just avoid profiles that mention family or kids.I still want to have an emotionally fulfilling relationship with someone, I just don't see kids as part of my future. Why does that come across as "I'm just here for fun"? It gives me the impression that most people think the only reason for a relationship is to have kids. Is this true? Is that what you guys think, too?
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