How can I (30f) get guys on dating apps to be more interested? Do I need to say I’m open to casual or be more open to going to guys’ places? Am I coming across too frigidly? I haven’t had sex in years and rarely date, and I want that to change

I’ve been using online dating apps for years now without much luck. The past few months, it’s basically been crickets.

I know that guys where I live have lots more options than women. What tips are there for me to stand out? Would it be beneficial for me to say I’m open for casual (even though I’m not), as that seems to be the thing here? I haven’t had sex in years, only kissed someone once each year, and I’d really just like some company. I’m just not into hooking up and one night stands but I’m wondering if having a detailed profile and expectations of going on real dates is even realistic. I present myself as thoughtful, supportive, caring, well rounded/ educated woman, but I’m not sure guys care about this at all. Seems like they want fun girls who are down for whatever.

The last few decent looking, local guys near my age (30s/40s) who asked to meet up with me, invited me directly to their apartment. One was gracious enough to offer to cover the Uber fare or maybe meet me at a bar near his place, but they all strictly refused to meet in public or meet in the middle.

TLDR: starting to feel that expecting traditional dating is a dead end for me. How do I get with the times, so I can stop living like a nun? Am I too frigid? And how can I find a balance without putting myself in danger?



Submitted August 26, 2019 at 11:56PM

I’ve been using online dating apps for years now without much luck. The past few months, it’s basically been crickets.I know that guys where I live have lots more options than women. What tips are there for me to stand out? Would it be beneficial for me to say I’m open for casual (even though I’m not), as that seems to be the thing here? I haven’t had sex in years, only kissed someone once each year, and I’d really just like some company. I’m just not into hooking up and one night stands but I’m wondering if having a detailed profile and expectations of going on real dates is even realistic. I present myself as thoughtful, supportive, caring, well rounded/ educated woman, but I’m not sure guys care about this at all. Seems like they want fun girls who are down for whatever.The last few decent looking, local guys near my age (30s/40s) who asked to meet up with me, invited me directly to their apartment. One was gracious enough to offer to cover the Uber fare or maybe meet me at a bar near his place, but they all strictly refused to meet in public or meet in the middle.TLDR: starting to feel that expecting traditional dating is a dead end for me. How do I get with the times, so I can stop living like a nun? Am I too frigid? And how can I find a balance without putting myself in danger?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more