How can I (30f) get guys on dating apps to be more interested? Do I need to say I’m open to casual or be more open to going to guys’ places? Am I coming across too frigidly? I haven’t had sex in years and rarely date, and I want that to change

I’ve been using online dating apps for years now without much luck. The past few months, it’s basically been crickets.

I know that guys where I live have lots more options than women. What tips are there for me to stand out? Would it be beneficial for me to say I’m open for casual (even though I’m not), as that seems to be the thing here? I haven’t had sex in years, only kissed someone once each year, and I’d really just like some company. I’m just not into hooking up and one night stands but I’m wondering if having a detailed profile and expectations of going on real dates is even realistic. I present myself as thoughtful, supportive, caring, well rounded/ educated woman, but I’m not sure guys care about this at all. Seems like they want fun girls who are down for whatever.

The last few decent looking, local guys near my age (30s/40s) who asked to meet up with me, invited me directly to their apartment. One was gracious enough to offer to cover the Uber fare or maybe meet me at a bar near his place, but they all strictly refused to meet in public or meet in the middle.

TLDR: starting to feel that expecting traditional dating is a dead end for me. How do I get with the times, so I can stop living like a nun? Am I too frigid? And how can I find a balance without putting myself in danger?



Submitted August 26, 2019 at 11:56PM

I’ve been using online dating apps for years now without much luck. The past few months, it’s basically been crickets.I know that guys where I live have lots more options than women. What tips are there for me to stand out? Would it be beneficial for me to say I’m open for casual (even though I’m not), as that seems to be the thing here? I haven’t had sex in years, only kissed someone once each year, and I’d really just like some company. I’m just not into hooking up and one night stands but I’m wondering if having a detailed profile and expectations of going on real dates is even realistic. I present myself as thoughtful, supportive, caring, well rounded/ educated woman, but I’m not sure guys care about this at all. Seems like they want fun girls who are down for whatever.The last few decent looking, local guys near my age (30s/40s) who asked to meet up with me, invited me directly to their apartment. One was gracious enough to offer to cover the Uber fare or maybe meet me at a bar near his place, but they all strictly refused to meet in public or meet in the middle.TLDR: starting to feel that expecting traditional dating is a dead end for me. How do I get with the times, so I can stop living like a nun? Am I too frigid? And how can I find a balance without putting myself in danger?
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