My ex still wants me in his life, and knows I want a relationship

I originally posted this on r/relationship_advice

Hey everyone. My ex (20M) and I (28F) have been broken up for two months, and it's been super stressful on me. For a bit of backstory, we were together for 6 months, and while everything wasn't sunshine and rainbows, we were still really, really happy with one another. My ex once told me I was the best thing to ever happen to him.

A quick TLDR of our relationship works like this: his depression started to go into a downward spiral, and he was angioshed for weeks before bringing up a possibility of us breaking up. Of course I didn't want him to! So we talked about it, but eventually he would feel like too much of an asshole to keep up our relationship. He cared about me to much to, in his eyes, hurt me by being emotionally distant while he works on his shit.

My ex is a man who bottles his emotions inside, but who has a huge heart. He treated me so, so well, and I never understood just how horribly he was feeling until he couldn't take it anymore.

What brings me to posting is this...

It's been two months. Throughout our breakup, we eventually started casually "talking" again once we talked about a major hiccup that occurred that involved our mutual friend who only exasperated the situation further.

He didn't want me to stop messaging him altogether, as I had given him space and not messaged him. So we began slowly sending memes to one another.

In person he would give me slight physical touches, which only broke my heart.

These were a few early on instances of me believing he still cared about me. Then, later, he began perking up, and started what I thought was flirting with me again. He snapped my photo and sent it to me to let him know I was there two days in a row, and started grinning at other jokes I would make as times went on.

Before he left for AT a month ago (area training, as he is in the Marine reserves), he made a point to tell me it would be a while before I saw him again.

And he texted me as soon as he came back! Whenever he messaged me, or I messaged him, it would be an immediate reply unless he was busy. And he made sure to text me first (something he stopped doing) about washing his friends dogs, etc, a few times

Last week, before he went on his trip to visit family, he came into Walmart (where we both work; he's on LOA) to get some quick groceries, and asked one of my coworkers if I was working. And then he came to find me... and ask me a question he could have easily found out. Since I did NOT expect to see him, I was super awkward and shocked, particularly because a coworker was standing there. So I have him an affectionate rap on the chest with my knuckles and walked off. He asked my coworker that night if I was OK.

The next day or so, as we casually had a small conversation, he brought up (again) the fact that he was going to have a housewarming party, and asked "are you gonna come?"

And a few days ago, he then messaged me that he was in his way to Missouri, and then again when he arrived. I have let him be so he can have fun while he is visiting. I will see him Wednesday cos his roommate/our friend is helping me move their furniture from my apartment to theirs.

I have done everything I can to be supportive of him during this difficult time, cos I realize that this is all his depression. I have also been working on myself through self help books and counseling, and in a better emotional place than I was when we broke up. I don't want to pressueye him into anything, but I cant help but think he is deluding himself into thinking he needs this space and that he CANT have a relationship

I know this space was good for our relationship. It would only have been detrimental had I not changed myself, too, and we forced ourselves to be together.

I care about him so, so much, and I honestly think we have something anazing. His best friend told me a few weeks ago (when I was feeling lonely and wrongly reached out to him) that he stilled cared about me.

Am I wrong to believe that we still have a chance?

EDIT: my ex knows just how much I care about him and knows that I wasn't going to give up on him. He knows I still want a relationship. And not ONCE has he told me to move on--when he broke up with me, he wanted to give me an opportunity to move on. He hasn't said anything to dissuade me or my feelings.

Submitted August 27, 2019 at 12:01AM

I originally posted this on r/relationship_adviceHey everyone. My ex (20M) and I (28F) have been broken up for two months, and it's been super stressful on me. For a bit of backstory, we were together for 6 months, and while everything wasn't sunshine and rainbows, we were still really, really happy with one another. My ex once told me I was the best thing to ever happen to him.A quick TLDR of our relationship works like this: his depression started to go into a downward spiral, and he was angioshed for weeks before bringing up a possibility of us breaking up. Of course I didn't want him to! So we talked about it, but eventually he would feel like too much of an asshole to keep up our relationship. He cared about me to much to, in his eyes, hurt me by being emotionally distant while he works on his shit.My ex is a man who bottles his emotions inside, but who has a huge heart. He treated me so, so well, and I never understood just how horribly he was feeling until he couldn't take it anymore.What brings me to posting is this...It's been two months. Throughout our breakup, we eventually started casually "talking" again once we talked about a major hiccup that occurred that involved our mutual friend who only exasperated the situation further.He didn't want me to stop messaging him altogether, as I had given him space and not messaged him. So we began slowly sending memes to one another.In person he would give me slight physical touches, which only broke my heart.These were a few early on instances of me believing he still cared about me. Then, later, he began perking up, and started what I thought was flirting with me again. He snapped my photo and sent it to me to let him know I was there two days in a row, and started grinning at other jokes I would make as times went on.Before he left for AT a month ago (area training, as he is in the Marine reserves), he made a point to tell me it would be a while before I saw him again.And he texted me as soon as he came back! Whenever he messaged me, or I messaged him, it would be an immediate reply unless he was busy. And he made sure to text me first (something he stopped doing) about washing his friends dogs, etc, a few timesLast week, before he went on his trip to visit family, he came into Walmart (where we both work; he's on LOA) to get some quick groceries, and asked one of my coworkers if I was working. And then he came to find me... and ask me a question he could have easily found out. Since I did NOT expect to see him, I was super awkward and shocked, particularly because a coworker was standing there. So I have him an affectionate rap on the chest with my knuckles and walked off. He asked my coworker that night if I was OK.The next day or so, as we casually had a small conversation, he brought up (again) the fact that he was going to have a housewarming party, and asked "are you gonna come?"And a few days ago, he then messaged me that he was in his way to Missouri, and then again when he arrived. I have let him be so he can have fun while he is visiting. I will see him Wednesday cos his roommate/our friend is helping me move their furniture from my apartment to theirs.I have done everything I can to be supportive of him during this difficult time, cos I realize that this is all his depression. I have also been working on myself through self help books and counseling, and in a better emotional place than I was when we broke up. I don't want to pressueye him into anything, but I cant help but think he is deluding himself into thinking he needs this space and that he CANT have a relationshipI know this space was good for our relationship. It would only have been detrimental had I not changed myself, too, and we forced ourselves to be together.I care about him so, so much, and I honestly think we have something anazing. His best friend told me a few weeks ago (when I was feeling lonely and wrongly reached out to him) that he stilled cared about me.Am I wrong to believe that we still have a chance?EDIT: my ex knows just how much I care about him and knows that I wasn't going to give up on him. He knows I still want a relationship. And not ONCE has he told me to move on--when he broke up with me, he wanted to give me an opportunity to move on. He hasn't said anything to dissuade me or my feelings.